@Shin Dongwoo How sweet that melodic voice calling out the beloved nickname. Blondie, Tae, Min - the boy savored it all primarily because he didn't realize just how much his ears yearned to hear Dongwoo whisper such affection to him until he came back, realizing how much he /missed/ it. Even with those thoughts bearing through his torn soul, fighting ardently with the negativity that had crept through the reopened wounds, it was the combination of the older's willingness to just try let things play out naturally and the reconnection of skin on skin through an innocent hand squeeze that had the boy grounded once more in the present . Taemin may not have been completely free of the burden weighing its ugly head down on his chest, but at least the affections gave him enough room to breathe - the first defense mechanism to vanish the less than bright emotions.
Not wanting to keep talking about how fragile their current relationship was, the former blonde decided against providing an immediate response the older's words and instead used the time to savor the moment, engrave this forever into his mind - He had finally found his way back to the love of his life. Even if the dynamics were completely off, there was no denying how grateful the younger felt to simply be breathing the same air as the very man who gave him enough strength to pull out of dark times. With each step taken towards the familiar buildings, this was all Taemin allowed himself to think about, his soul having rejuvenated back into the fighting spirit to eventually, slowly but surely and hopefully with Dongwoo at his side in some shape or form, find and be in a state of happiness.
It didn't shock Taemin when they stepped into the dorm building how nothing necessarily had aesthetically changed. He had briefly returned to the dorms earlier in the day to drop off his luggage before running off to the library with all intentions of finding Dongwoo - the need to apologize to him was burning at the tip of his tongue for days prior to his return. What /was/ surprising was catching the older's glimpse towards his door, seeing that veil instantly cover the artist's eyes in a lost-but-still-here gaze. Taemin wondered if Dongwoo was thinking about how many times he'd passed by that very same door and felt despair from the unknown fate of it's owner - it just further fueled the younger's uncanny need to make-it up to Dongwoo, make /everything/ up to the older.
"It's not...It's not stupid, I mean. Your songs have always been so special, having written one as a way to cope only gives it a more raw and unique characteristic to it. You continued to produce your music, I gave up dancing for something less triggering - it's just two sides of the same coin. I wish I could have been there to hear it performed live for the first time.." The younger spoke quietly though more stable as the walk over to their rooms after having ended the rollercoaster ride that was their outing gave the younger a moment to recenter to a psudocomfortable state of being. He offered Dongwoo the same small smile with a nod of his head to accompany the encouraging words, the smile still not at it's rawest genuine form but at least it wasn't warped from pain and lack of emotional control. The pink haired boy waited to hear the familiar sound of the lock unclick from its latch, waiting for Dongwoo's scent to bombard his senses upon entering and keeping up the tradition of removing his shoes - yet as he began to pull pull off the canvas on his feet, Taemin had to stop quizzically. "It's different...did you change something? Your cologne or detergent? Your room...smells different than what I last remembered."
The younger had to control his words, finding a strategic way to hide from the older just how much he relied on every sensory memory he had of their relationship, down to the smell of the bedsheets the night they made love, to be in the state he was in today
@Lee Taemin “Tae…” His voice fell to a lull knowing how deeply he was cutting the boy, exposing the wounds he’d tried so hard to mend yet the brunette found it even harder to look at his former lover without feeling the pain his absence had left behind in the first place. Could he truly ever forgive Taemin? He hoped, prayed that it was possible just as a part of him still burned a flame in his chest meant only for the boy’s affectionate smile. The possibility of the them reuniting as a couple, however, seemed all the more slim but the persistence in Taemin’s voice sparked something within the elder swallowing back whatever doubt he may have had. “Alright I… I can’t make any promises but I won’t keep pushing you away. Though I doubt it would take 100 lovers for me to remember what I had right in front of me. What we had…” Reaching down he gave the younger’s hand a small squeeze hoping to bring some form of reassurance, to let him know that he wasn’t ready to give up just yet though they were both still suffering.
To hear the teen confess that his saving grace had been imagining returning to his arms left Dongwoo a bit weak, bile building in his throat thinking of the horrible accusations he’d exclaimed just hours ago believing that Taemin’s feelings for him were minimal at best due to the younger’s inability to express himself during that time of need. It was cruel, he knew, to put so much blame on the boy knowing that he’d truly believed his decisions had been for the best yet for the artist at the time it was nothing more than months filled with loneliness and despair for his one-sided love. “I know I hurt you and I-I’m sorry for that but it would have only been worse for me to hide how I was feeling. To pretend that everything was okay, would still be the same when your absence had hollowed out my chest, would have just caused me to resent you more in the long run and I would forever hate myself if I let that happen.” That smile, that unspoken yearning pouring out from the younger so reminiscent of the boy he’d fallen for so long ago, there was no resisting as he obliged the boy with a single kiss to the top of his head guiding the duo back the dorm. His gaze instantly fell across the hall to the door directly in front of his own, thinking of how many days he’d spent passing by hoping to catch even the briefest glimpse of blonde or the boy’s angelic voice calling out to him only to return to his room in disappointment believing that day would never come again. But now here they were, Taemin at his side, two lost souls needing something to grasp on to. “When I wrote it, the first time I performed it, I kept imagining that somehow, somewhere my song would reach you. I know it’s stupid but…”
@Shin Dongwoo If there was something harder than making it through the last few months, it would definitely be attempting to keep composure in front of the one causing so much pain. Taemin kept reminding himself that it was truly only his fault why they were even in that situation in the first place, but despite how much he tried to play with his own mind, everything just resulted in...numbness. It seemed like his physical self wasn't in his control anymore and he was looking at the pitiful scene from the outside in. There was barely any action from him, barely even a flutter of eyelashes, up until the unexpected moment where you got up....and kissed him.
For those two heavenly seconds, Taemin could have sworn he saw stars, he felt his deep wounds start to stitch up, a spark igniting to remind him why he was still breathing at that very moment....only for everything to collapse a moment later. Every single word that came out of your mouth afterward sliced through the already pained heart. That was it. It was pulverized.
The tiniest bit of brightness that returned to the dark orbs due to the very kiss, vanished as fast as it had arrived, causing the pink haired boy to look away from the piercing gaze just so that he could have a sliver of a chance at controlling his inner turmoil. It took several attempts to speak once more, lips silently gasping for air as his throat fought with all it's will to get past the knot that had formed there. Eventually, the boy was strong enough to continue. "Don't say there can't ever be an us again. Let me be utterly selfish in this one thing and demand you to not take us away forever.....I've hurt you beyond belief, but I'm already more than determined to make everything up to you. 10 years from now, 20 lovers later, maybe 100, or maybe even more. I don't give a damn, I will focus every fiber of my being on making sure you can forgive me and love only me with such fervor...because it was exactly the hope of coming back to your arms, and staying there until my final heartbeat, that has kept me breathing this long."
The empty eyes turned pained from reflecting just how crucial and deep his emotions ran when it came to the man that still meant the entire world to him despite the hurt he delivered. They stared back to the older's own warm colored orbs, begging to be taken seriously as he leaned into the warm palm - not knowing it was eventually the grounding force that would, for the moment being, bring Taemin back into reign and begin to feel something over the numbness. "Every part of me hurts because of your words... but I'm grateful to be able to just /feel/ again. If you're able to still want me around after all that I've done, then I'm more than willing to listen to any and all songs you made to cope.." He whispered just as he allowed his tired eyes to close for a moment, forehead leaning towards the older's lips in silent yearning for a simple show of affection, for more of the heavenly contact that literally sparked life back into him - no matter how minuscule the time that spark lasted.
Quietly taking the bags of food into his hands, Taemin allowed for the tiniest of smiles to graze his lips followed by a single nod - not only agreeing to return and listen, but to show a single, silent demonstration of how the boy would go to hell and back for to reclaim Donwoo's heart.
