♡ Pool

@Lee Juyeon ᵈᵃˡᵐᵃᵗᶦᵃⁿ [SH] /It wouldn’t be right for me to claim that it was only JaeChan who influenced me to act the way that I did, because it really truly wasn’t his fault, at least not at the beginning of our relationship. There was a reason we became friends so quickly – as they say – if you can’t defeat them, join them. A sort of origin story of how the two greatest douchebags of the school joined forces and became inseparable best friends. The kind of guys that you hate and admire because of their boldness. Hate to see them, but wish you were them. The stupid, spoiled rotten kids who can get away with anything because daddy will never have an issue donating another few grand to keep things quiet and patched up in school. That was the both of us and now, thinking back on it, it makes me wince with shame.
And you.. you were not just a casualty of our actions. There were times when we purposefully tried to hurt you – emotionally, of course, but it wasn’t coincidental. It was purposeful – often to entertain either JaeChan or me or one of our stupid friends. And so, why would you ever believe that I could change? You truly have no reason to ever trust my words, no matter what I would be able to come up with. Surprisingly, though, your words don’t sound half as venomous as I could expect them to. I can’t imagine your past wounds got healed completely, but I suppose the hurt limbs are now numb enough for you to remain here, giving me a sort of mercy by letting me respond./ I understand.. I am probably the last person you would like to see or.. speak to for that matter but I just. I want to tell you that I am so sorry, Juyeon –
/Uneasy, voice wavering at times, I eventually slide down into the pool, feeling weird as I speak to you from above, but not taking steps closer to you, my last wish being to scare you off. My mind is somewhat blank, meaningless apologetic words, explanations flying around my head in a chaotic mess. But I am determined to make sense of it somehow, feeling a rather strange sense of duty. It takes me a few moments before I can lift my head and look into your eyes again./ I am so sorry for causing you pain back then. I was so so wrong. I hope you can.. Find it in you to forgive me? /I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it at all and the only way I can actually say these words is by pushing my logical thinking out the window. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, nor your attention, to be honest. And truth be told, if our roles were reversed I would’ve been gone in seconds, never giving you a chance to say as much as “hello” to me./

@Wong Lucas ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ "no idea", he replied quickly, without much consideration for the well-being of the forever absent hybrid. at some point changkyun would start questioning the existence of the guy. was he real? was he still here? was he intentionally hiding from the latter or perhaps he's been bought weeks ago and poor lucas wasn't informed about the fact yet? everything was a bit strange, he had to admit. carefully waggling his legs in the water, the fennec fox floated closer to the human who eventually sat down at the edge of the pool. changkyun had no problems with sensing the latter's mood. who would have any problems, when emotions were written all over the other man's face. slurping his drink, he observed his companion in silence for a few seconds more. "you know, at this rate I'm slowly starting to believe it's just your poor excuse to start a conversation with me", he said then, his tone was visibly playful. he wasn't very good with feelings, but he still attempted to cheer the human up, even if his joke might be considered a bit risky.

@Im Changkyun ᶠᵉⁿⁿᵉᶜ ᶠᵒˣ [SH] Lucas had just reached the pool, eyes wildly searching for someone, but stopping abruptly when another at the pool called out to him. After repeatedly coming to visit and always coming up short, he'd known the hybrid in the pool was talking to him. Exhaling in aggravation, kicking the ground and tugging at his hair, Lucas through a small tantrum. How many time was he going to show up just to have missed him. He was trying to build something here and by now he was feeling like maybe it was one sided. Composing himself, he stepped towards the edge of the pool acting like a normal human possibly would, "Do you know when he'll be back then ?" He sat down at the edge of the pool and crossed his legs, resting his head in his hands. This had become his position lately, exhausted and late as usual. He didnt wanna admit that he may be liking someone as more than a friend but since he started this new television project that dream kept getting flushed down the drain. Lucas also didnt want to admit that part to himself either as he stared dejectedly into the pool water. It was far too vibrant for the gloom to be settling around him like this.

@Kim Jongin ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /you're one of the demons of my past and just by giving your face a single glance I can easily tell how strongly aware you are of this indisputable fact. you were– perhaps you still are friends with my former best friend, my former 'older brother' who at some point of my life transformed from being someone who I truly cherished to someone who I despised wholeheartedly. I haven't heard from him, nor his parents (who used to be like parents to me as well) since the day, actually the late evening when I was kicked out from their house, at that time not even fully conscious of what was going on with me. after all jaechan, you and your other friends thought it was a brilliant idea to get a fifteen-year-old drunk. the fifteen-year-old who at that time would do anything to win back his good relationship with his best friend. anything, even taking the blame for way too much crap that was happening over these few months prior the fateful party which I don't even remember. I was scared of losing him, that he would start hating me one day, if I kept telling our parents that it was him who stole their money from cookie jar, who scratched their newest car, who destroyed the homework which hadn't even been done in the first place. I tried to be the best younger brother anyone could have, but I was also a bit immature to realize what sort of consequences my inaction and vulnerability would lead to. by trying to save my relationship with him, I damaged my relationship with our parents for whom I became less and less reliable, and more and more of a problematic individual who caused the downfall of their beloved son, instead of being the source of comfort and relaxation, as every hybrid, especially a dog one should be. and I can even understand the final decision they've made that night. I don't think I would also believe someone with such a record, even if that someone was, in fact, only guilty of being a naive child. around seven years have passed since that incident and there's a big part of me which still suffers, when thinking about everything that happened then. with time, as I grew older, I began to notice more and more things which I've missed before and which have been very, very wrong. for a long period of time I had no idea what I did wrong. I spent long months, years trying to collect all of shattered pieces of myself into one integrity and find a meaning of existing in my new reality. it took me a lot of time to accept the fact that I've been taken the advantage of, and my lack of ability to fight for my own rights was the main reason of it. but I was still just a child, and it was a very agonizing life lesson I received. seeing you today, I don't know what to think or feel. I used to hate everything about you, yet today... you're just a supporting role in my torment. a souvenir of my past/ what are you doing here? /I ask then, seeing how uneasy my presence makes you feel, but at the same time I can't care less. I've seen many shades of you and I know that people change, but I still wonder what someone like yourself would do in such place full of broken and vulnerable hybrids whose main source of pain are humans. are you here to drag them even more or is that your strange form of penance?/ because if you're thinking about giving home to any of the hybrids here, I advise you to leave.

@Lee Juyeon ᵈᵃˡᵐᵃᵗᶦᵃⁿ /It's funny how a single peaceful moment can change in a blink of an eye, yet I shouldn't be all too surprised. I was not expecting to see you in particular in a place like this, but looking back at the past events, it makes sense. I hate that it makes sense to me, it makes me feel all the more guilty and dirty and I am sure I deserve to feel like this. After all.. For most of my life I have been a rather despicable human being - or maybe, if I was to be a little bit gentler on myself, just a stupid, privileged kid, not knowing how to take responsibility. As I look you in the eyes, ashamed to even do that, if I'm being honest, all I can see is the various instances of the past, playing out in my mind again and again. Flashing lights of the parties with teenagers trashing up the fancy house JaeChan used to live in, spilled alcohol and random piles of mild drugs on the oak coffee tables and fluffy carpets. The sound of loud music booming through the speakers and vibrating the floors, laughter and incoherent sentences being shouted between the people, very often strangers that neither of us really knew or cared about. It's probably not surprising that the one imagine that's burned the deepest into my brain, like a personal ghost that doesn't seem to want to leave my side even of the brightest days, the one that you had the luck of missing, having already been.. discarded by your previous family - JaeChan on the day he eventually took a dose greater than his body could handle well, shivering in either cold or fear, red eyes streaky with veins, hands scratching at his own skin that was wet from both tears and sweat, nose runny. I have never seen him after that day, neither of our parents thought it would be a good idea, nor did I ever have a huge desire to. He made me a worse person, and I was a pretty bad one to begin with.
It all comes back to me in seconds and for a while, I can't seem to think of anything smart to say. I don't trust my voice to be even either, as although distant, the past is still very much influencing me in ways I'd rather not overthink. And I can't even begin to imagine how it all feels for you. Any sentence that comes to my head now seems silly and irrelevant and yet, I do want to make it right, or at least provide you an apology - or an explanation of sorts. You deserve to hear it.
Not wishing to scare you away and quite thankful that you immediate response wasn't to just straight up leave the place, I my lips, giving myself a second more before I can finally speak up/ He-- Hi, Juyeon. /Exactly as I feared, my voice is small and high-pitched, not exactly something I'd consider ideal, but it will do for now. I don't really have a plan of what I'll say, fidgeting with my hands in my lap, though keeping my eyes on you, searching your features for some definite sign of disgust/

@Kim Jongin ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /without any meeting or chore fixed up on my schedule, I don't need to worry about the concept of time, simply focusing on enjoying the water as much as I want – to be more precise, until my hands and feet become wrinkly, losing everything that could be considered appealing in their looks. I swim, stretching all of my muscles, cracking some of my stiff joints when reminding them about their prime function. doing that, I don't really pay much attention to my surroundings. as long as the weather is still warm and very much sunny, I have nothing to worry myself with. being in an astonishingly high spirits, yet slowly losing to the feeling of exhaustion, I decide to take a little break. but before I head to the nearest ladder, I spot a pair of human feet submerged in the water. the sight alone is enough for me to alter my plan a little, and I swim to the said legs instead, holding them a bit above the ankles, before I emerge, quickly brushing my wet balayage locks off my face to look up at yours a second later. initially excited for the upcoming interaction, my smile quickly vanishes from my lips as soon as I see who you are, there is no way I will ever be able to forget you, and what you exactly did to cause my stomach to twist unpleasantly at the very moment. I take my hand off your calf immediately, also kicking myself off the pool's wall to create a greater distance between us. you're the last person I expected to see here. heck, I've never thought I would ever see you again in my life. but here you are. I'm lost for words, I'm so taken aback by your appearance that I don't even know if I'm still angry, or hurt, or if I even care enough to scratch my old wounds/ you. out of all people. /I grunt, floating in the water/

@Lee Juyeon ᵈᵃˡᵐᵃᵗᶦᵃⁿ /Sun-kissed golden skin, body clad and supported by designer labels and hair swept and styled carefully into a perfect "comma" hairstyle, paid for with daddy's money, of course, - that's the kind of boy-ish, shallow image that my look most of the time projected outwards. It's not like I've ever cared enough to correct anyone. Or maybe I sort of liked this image, regardless of the impending imposter syndrome that loomed over my head every day, I would lie if I said that being invited to the fancy, overhyped parties and hanging out with groups of attractive young adults was a burden. Maybe I was shallow at the end of the day. But isn't everyone, to some degree? And maybe, just maybe, If I was completely honest with myself, the shallow outlook was there to mask the fact, that ever since the /incident/ (if we were to be dramatic) I never really found myself opening up that much and making tons of really close friends again.
The sun is pleasantly warm, caressing my exposed back as I sit down at the edge of the pool, feet in the water, and it's too pleasant to focus on anything, the book I brought with me left aside together with sunglasses and sun cream. For a while I just take my time breathing, enjoying the calmness of the place as it doesn't seem to be that popular, only a few other people somewhere quite far away. Eventually, I open my eyes, squinting a little as the sun reflection finds my orbs, but I don't get much longer to bask in naiveness, my attention caught by a hybrid in the water. It's the ear that catches my focus, all too familiar to miss. All of the sudden it's like I can't feel the sun on me anymore - frozen in place, breath caught in my lungs and a wave of emotions washing over me, guilt being the most prominent of them all. I should talk to you, I should explain myself, should apologize. Am I allowed to? Who am I to you other than the one who helped cause you pain back in the day? Remembering all that makes my chest heavy and for a moment, I am a teenager again, naughty and careless and naive and oh-so incredibly stupid. But the truth is, I /am/ an adult now and adults take responsibility don't they? So, I take a deep breath, ignoring the unpleasant tingling of my skin before I clear my throat loudly, sure to catch your attention/

@Kim Jongin ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /questionably excited to be able to experience the very last heat waves of this season, I eventually get fully enchanted by the shimmering surface of crystal clear pool. it's been tempting me every single day since the very first time I looked out at it through the window in my personal room, yet it's only today, when I finally decide to change into my maroon swim trunks and head to the said pool. the omnipresent sun rays quickly warm my bare skin up and only a few single clouds on the sky are my only hope for some shade. sitting on the edge of the pool, I begin from sinking my feet into the water, testing the temperature of it first, before I finally slide into it, temporary disappearing under the surface and enjoying the pleasant coolness/

@Wong Lucas ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ glamorous, exotic and drenched in sunlight, changkyun decided to spend this extremely lazy day outside and catch anything similar to suntan. his naturally pale skin, so typical for indoor individual as himself had never bothered him in any way, yet this ecological kind of vitamin d injection surely did wonders to his recently rather gloomy frame of mind. wearing nothing but orange swim trunks on his bum, a pair lagoon blue aviators on his nose and a straw hat on his head, the fox hybrid floated on the water, sitting comfortably in a huge inflatable doughnut, waiting for his inflatable watermelon cup holder to deliver to him his can of coke. sipping the fizzy drink, in the corner of his eye he spotted a familiar figure strolling towards the edge of the pool. "he's not here!", the hybrid announced loudly, even before the latter managed to open his mouth and utter the question he had popped every time they met.

/sits in here with his pants rolled up, feet in the water