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@b. chan you're kinda my first... everything, chan.
/admits quietly, the corners of my lips tucking into my cheeks and making me look all the more like my quokka equivalent, my eyes wide and round and aiding in that visual
/my fingers curl into your shirt before im whining softly in response to everything happening in the moment, but then your hand is at my wrist to keep me still
/and i obey that very simple action with a small noise leaving my lips, marveling how simple it is for me to obey you, but was that really going to be a surprise to anyone
chan, i...
you really are going to get a kick out of this, huh?
/my voice is soft before i fall entirely silent as you lean in, your lips pressing to mine yet another happy distraction, and another little noise leaves me as you pull me in closer
/but i gasp against your mouth when you moan into the kiss, your fingers on my waist causing me to arch into you, sinking into the comfort of your hold without much encouragement needed
/it seems as though i really never will stop blushing with you, and im not sure i should even bother trying to keep my cool with something like this, because honestly you make me feel lie no one else has before
you're going to drive me insane, bang chan.
in all the right ways, of course--
i hope you know that.
/when i look up at you again, its a little shyly, my lips pressing together when you mention me wanting to get plenty of practice in, and i quickly look away from you
you have... you have no proof.
/clearing my throat, i rest one hand on your chest once more, fingers brushing over the fabric of your shirt before i glance over my shoulder, looking to our laptops where we were working before all of this happened
/laughing softly at the sight, i dip my head and bury my face against your throat with a small sigh, daring to press a kiss to your throat now that im here
and to think, i came here to honestly get some work done...
there went that.

@h. jisung i feel like you kinda threw it over my head in fairness, but we'll not talk about that huh?
/chuckles softly as i look at you, somewhat surprised when you tell me i'm your first kiss because while you're not as forward as the rest of us, i thought you'd have had that much by now
oh yeah?
i'm honoured to be your first kiss then. and first boyfriend i'm guessing
/leans back a bit as i look at you, glancing at your hands on my chest before i lift it to your face, biting my bottom lip at the way you're floundering for something, anything to say
/a laugh bubbles from my lips when you even fan at your face, pressing the back of my hand against my mouth because as amusing as it is, i don't want you to feel hurt or think i'm laughing at you
you're gonna have to get used to all that if we're gonna do this for real
i think i'm going to enjoy this more than i should
/muses under my breath before i lean in, one hand wrapping around your wrist to gently move your fanning hand out the way, holding it still as i do so
/pressing my lips to your own again i squeeze at your waist with my eyelids falling shut, my fingertips dimpling your clothing as i half moan into the kiss just to see your reaction
i think you'll be a great kisser yet, han
just a little more practice is needed, and i have a feeling you'll be wanting to get plenty of that in

@b. chan i.. wow it, really went over your head, huh?
i talked about it a while ago, i thought everyone knew at this point.
/snickering quietly, im actually a little shocked that you had no idea, i genuinely figured someone would have told you or you would've seen stay talking about it at some point
/when you mention my kissing, i scrunch my nose and glance away from you, that same little blush spreading over my cheeks before i look back to you
/yet again, im struck to silence, your smile so... charming, my adoration for you evident in the way my eyes shine like a kid that's gotten the best present for christmas
well, you're a /really great/ kisser.
and im not just saying that, even if you are my first and only kiss--
/lifting a hand, i brush over the nape of my neck a little nervously before it drops back down to rest on your shoulder, all previous thoughts of working on lyrics and composing gone at this point
those can be cute-- o-ohh..
/nodding once in agreement, i end up gasping softly as your lips brush over my neck, the sound verging on a breathy little moan that i cut off even as your teeth graze my skin
/watching as you kiss my fingertips, im still a little caught up in how your lips felt on my neck, a shiver running down my spine even as i lean in to enjoy the feeling of your lips just barely on mine
ch-chan...
/your words shock me, my eyes a little wide when you pull back, and i have to rest my hands on your chest so i dont lean into you unexpectedly, and i very clearly malfunction for a moment, struggling to find words to say to you
i.. i-i... y-yeah you, you did say that--
hoo boy--
/clearing my throat, i lean back and lift a hand to fan at my face, soon removing the other to do the same while i rely on your hold on me to keep me in your lap
holy moly...

@h. jisung wait what? when did you talk about it to stay? when did they say it was about me?
/asks entirely seriously because as someone who comes second to felix in stalking our fans on social networking sites, i thought i would have seen something like that for sure
you're not a horrible kisser, just a new one
you'll get better with practice and something tells me you'll be wanting lots of that
/teases you just a bit when you pant and your lips like that while looking at me, smiling to myself to the point my dimples are deep and very clearly seen
of course pecks can be nice too
like when one of us is working and not paying attention, so the other kisses them quickly and suddenly, you know?
/murmurs as i lean in, kissing the tip of your nose before i lean back, admiring you quietly and the flush on your cheeks in particular
and then there's kisses you can place elsewhere like... here
/leans in and brushes my lips over your neck, moving along the skin before i sink my teeth down just a little, not enough to even bruise, just letting you feel them graze along your pulse
or here
/lifts one of your hands and brings it to my mouth, brushing my lips along your knuckles before i spread your fingers and kiss each fingertip
/leaning back up i let my lips ghost against your own, speaking huskily against them and its so breathy you can barely hear me
there are other places i'd like to put kisses on you, but its not acceptable in public spaces and... well, i did ask to take it slow, didn't i?
/chuckles under my breath before i press a brief peck to your lips much like you did mine, leaning back in my chair after to amuse myself by watching you handle what i've said and done this time

@b. chan hyung, please.
even /stay/ know you were my inspiration and muse-- are you really that clueless sometimes?
/i've never been like this with anyone before, not this intimately, and i wouldnt count any of my shenanigans with minho toward something like this
/so i feel more nervous that i usually would over something like this, even if it is you and i do trust you with... quite literally my life at this point
/but when you just kind of blink at me after the peck i place on your lips, i fiddle with your shirt, worrying the fabric between my fingers and wondering if i did something wrong
i... hyung, i've never kissed anyone before--
are you telling me im already a horrible kisser?
/speaking quietly before i realize you're leaning in, my lashes fluttering slightly before my eyes fall shut as your lips press to mine much longer than mine were to yours
/and my lips move against yours naturally, letting you keep control while my hands slide from where they were, holding onto you nonetheless
/im about to pull back for a breath before you have a hold on me that keeps me in place, a soft sound bubbling in my throat but it has nowhere to go, so im just sinking into your kiss, whimpering softly when your tongue slips past my lips and i taste you, shocked by this level of intimacy but you wont hear me complaining
/when you pull away and finish your sentence so simply, im left just sitting there, panting softly and running my tongue between my lips as if to taste any remnants of you, nodding just a little
yeah... yeah, that-- yes.
yeah. i like-- that.
woah.

@h. jisung i'm very concerned about your idea of being obvious, you know
you're far more subtle about things, now obvious would have been if you put down me as a credit for phobia's inspiration on the album
then i would have been getting the idea
/teases you a little before i'm laughing to myself, i can feel the heat coming off of your face already from your blushing
good, thank you in advance
/murmurs before i'm looking into your eyes, unblinking when you lean in and peck my lips, bumping my nose while you're at it too
well-
its... its a good start i suppose
but i think a kiss a little more...
/trails off as i look from your eyes to your lips, leaning in slowly, very slowly, before i press my lips to your own, letting you feel how they fit together much better when you take your time
/lifting my hands i bring them to your face, one hand cupping your cheek and the other holding the side of your neck, and you with it to keep you still
/with my hold on you established i tilt my head to one side so i might deepen the kiss, my lips parting against your own as i let my tongue brush over the seam of your full lips
/without much more warning i press my tongue in, tasting you for myself and groaning as i do so, my hand moving from the side of your neck to the nap, squeezing you there as i hold on a little tighter before pulling back
...like that would be better
/finishes my earlier sentence at last, slowly looking up from your lips ot your eyes as i do so
don't you think?

@b. chan i dunno chan, the quickest way to your heart is music.
and food-- definitely both of those.
/its a joke, the laugh that bubbles up in my throat making that evident, and i look up at you just to catch you smiling, and i lift my hand to fan at my cheeks
/i want to tell you not to do that, but i figure you'll just be confused and after all, you /did/ just say you actually want to date me to figure this all out
can you blame me?
minho's my best friend, and he's kinda nosy.
/scrunches my nose a little before im hiding against you, and when you say "yet" i let out a small whine, fingers coming to tug on your shirt before you're pulling me in
/and then im on your lap, content but definitely still blushing, clearing my throat as i feel your breath tickle my neck, causing a little shiver to run down my spine
mmn, yeah, i can do that.
be patient, i mean.
/my hands come to slip up to your shoulder, giving a small squeeze before i feel your lips brush over my skin, and i shiver again, the redness never leaving my cheeks as i hold your gaze
i thought i was being pretty obvious, but yeah, i can... i can do that.
/processing your words, it takes me a second, and with only a brief moment of hesitation i lean in, my nose bumping yours once more as i press a featherlight kiss to your lips, much more like a peck than anything else, i've never done this before and its evident
like that?

@h. jisung its not just because of the music, i promise. i don't think i'd even date someone for that reason, not alone at least?
but its something good for us, i like spending time with you when i work like that, you know?
it's not a bad thing, i just need to actually date you to see if we can work out the way you would like
/murmurs as i watch you blush at the kiss to your hand, smiling to myself because you're adorable, always have been and probably always will be
yes but i'm sure minho knows more than most people do
don't you know its usually the person of said affections that often is the last to know who they are to someone else?
/muses as you give me that small nudge and then hide against my shoulder, my knees bumping your own now that i'm sat closer to you in my chair
i haven't even done anything though
...yet
/muses as i run my hand along your back, wrapping my arms around you and hugging you to me as i do so, though eventually my arms come to tug you even closer
/and i don't stop until you're on my lap, hugging you still as i lay my own head against your shoulder my face turned inwards toward your neck
just be patient with me, okay?
and maybe if you're going to try to woo me, do it a little more... obviously?
/lifts my head and looks into your eyes, smiling again before i brush my lips over your forehead slowly, nudging your nose with my own
kisses wouldn't hurt...

@b. chan /at this point my heart is beating wildly inside of my chest, expecting something more like a rejection from you, even if i figured it would be gentle
/this almost has me feeling overly giddy in the moment, and i have to reel myself in, part of me wondering if there's some kind of joke behind this, like minho or felix setting me up for heartbreak or something, but with how genuinely surprised you were it doesnt make sense
/and then it really sinks in, that you mean it, and when you scoot closer i almost flinch, but i play it off as imitating you and lifting my hand to rub the nape of my neck
i mean, i know, i just...
dude, i really hope its not just cause of the music 'cause we've been at this for a while now.
the friendship thing, i mean.
/snorts softly, looking to you before your hand comes to rest over mine, and my heart skips a beat when you take such gentle care of me, and maybe its different now because my feelings are on the line
/meeting your gaze after finding the courage, i feel myself relax a little, managing to nod and offer you a smile while still not really finding the words to say, honestly flustered, but my pink cheeks give that away
i..
/even though i opened my mouth to say something, your lips press to the back of my hand, and i end up letting out a small noise of pleasure, bringing my hand to my chest after you put it down
hyung-- hyung please...
im already embarrassed because here i thought i was being pretty open about it, even minho knew. knows.
/correcting myself, i hesitate a little before you're leaning in, your hand at my cheek warm, and i breathe out a short little sigh with a single sound
o-oh...
/my entire face is hot, and i whine lightly before reaching out with both hands to give your chest a small shove before i end up falling against your shoulder, burying my face against the spot
you are /so/ not fair.

@h. jisung /I can only stare at you when you confirm that I was your muse, and still am apparently, my breath catching in my throat before I remember to actually breathe again
/even though you assure me nothing I say could be wrong because it's just my feelings, I know better than that and however I handle this moment will likely affect our relationship for the rest of our lives
Yeah
Yeah I mean it. How are we going to find out if this can work if we don't try it out first?
/answers with a little laugh, rubbing the back of my neck before I scoot closer on my chair, closing the distance you made between us as I do so
C'mon han
While I know now saying "it's just me" isn't going to do you much good in terms of your nerves, its still me
You know that right?
And no matter what happens I'm always gonna be here, I'm always gonna be your friend, and it's not just because we make really good music together
/chuckles to myself at that truth, smiling at you still before I reach my hand out and gently place it over your own, brushing my thumb over the back of your hand carefully, softly
I'm your friend first and foremost, you mean a lot to me, and I'm proud you found the strength, especially after all this time, to tell me how you really feel
So no matter how this turns out, you don't forget about it, okay?
/squeezes your hand beneath my own, lifting your hand after and pressing a small kiss to the back of it, placing your hand back down after in case you feel a little too flustered from the sudden show of affection
Suppose we should start thinking about where to go on a date then huh?
And I definitely need to hear more about this 3 year long crush. I'm nice, but I'm also curious as hell
/laughs as I tease you a bit, one of my hands lifting again and before I know it, I'm cupping your cheek in my palm and sliding my thumb over your skin, leaning in like I might kiss you but I stop, speaking softly instead with a cheeky grin tugging at my lips
And you can't /really/ blame me

@b. chan yeah, three years.
i mean, we worked together for so long?
obviously it wasnt like, love at first sight but boy did i fall pretty quick.
/another laugh leaves me, but its still nervous and maybe a little self-deprecating, but i pass it off as just feeling antsy over having /officially/ confessed to you
yeah, phobia, and yeah, you were my muse.
i mean you still are but we dont need to talk about that one.
/dropping my gaze when you seem to try to talk your way out of being the one i like, that i write for, i hesitate a little because i know its pretty hard for you to accept those kinds of things
/pursing my lips, im not sure what to say in response to this revelation of yours that you really /are/ the person i like, so i just stare at my fingers and fiddle with the tips of them
/slowly, i lift my gaze to meet yours again, almost feeling like a child getting scolded for saying something they shouldnt have, but i have to fight against that feeling because i /know/ its not true
no, no i trust you
i mean nothing you say could be wrong? it'd just be how you feel--
/blinks a few times when you mention dating, my eyes going a little wide and i adjust how im sitting in my spot, staring at you with that kind of childish look but its oddly fitting for me
date?
you mean like, for real, date?
listen that is not what i was expecting you to say--
/this time its my turn to be shocked, lifting my hands to rub over my face, then through my hair, and an incredulous laugh leaves my lips as i look to you with a smile of disbelief
you mean that? like, really mean that?

@h. jisung /i dread when you tell me you've liked me for a long time, how long is long to you anyway? but i get my answer soon enough and my heart drops for a moment
three years? but that's... that's as long as we've been a group
/i say as if it changes a god damn thing and of course it doesn't, but i'm here and i'm still trying to wrap my head around not just the revelation of you liking me, but you liking me for so long
wait what?
phobia?
/asks as i look at you, staring at you unblinking before i do blink, in quick succession and i lean in a bit, holding up one of my hands slightly to speak
you...
han are you saying you wrote phobia for me? or with me in mind? like a muse?
ah i don't know what i'm saying, it sounds ridiculous in my own ears
the idea of me being someone else's muse? no way. you liking me for that long? that's even harder to wrap my head around
/stops speaking after a bit, only now breathing and gasping a bit because i might have forgotten to do just that a moment ago
i don't...
i don't know what to say. i'm scared of saying anything because what if i say the wrong thing then you get the wrong idea, or get hurt?
i'm not going to forgive myself
/runs a hand through my hair in mild frustration because while i want to comfort you and be honest, i also just said i don't want to say the right thing, so i'm stick between awkward silence, (hee hee) and sticking my foot in my mouth
look, han
i don't know how i feel besides surprised right now
so...
so why don't we just uh, why don't we try dating first? see if you still like me then and we'll, or i'll figure out how i feel through that
sound fair?

@b. chan /groaning into my arm, i finally lift my head, cheeks flaring a bright red while i lift my hands to hide behind them, and suddenly im very glad that you were here by yourself and that i didnt drag changbin along
no, no, im definitely stupid.
/its the fact that you're still asking me what you're missing that makes me whine into my palms, squirming in my spot because honestly i didnt expect to have to be explaining this
hyung...
/slowly, i draw my hands down from my face so that i can look at you, though its clear im shy because i cant really hold your gaze for more than a few seconds at a time
/im about to take a breath to explain it to you, but then you hit the nail on the head and this time my gaze drops to my hands on the table, slowly nodding at your first few questions
huh?
no you're not-- you're not overthinking it, i just-- um..
/clearing my throat, i lift my gaze to meet yours, forcing myself to hold your gaze because its comforting, and sure enough i feel myself relax a little before i speak up again
i... kinda have liked you for a /long/ time, chan.
like, three years kinda long.
so you're definitely not overthinking it, considering that's like, exactly it and stuff.
/a small, nervous laugh leaves my lips as i lift a hand to fluff my hair slightly, nervous habits coming out left and right while i cross and uncross my ankles, suddenly a little antsy
god, im sorry--
this is... not the way i wanted to confess.
really thought phobia was it but that went over your head a long time ago--

@h. jisung threaten you with a go-
/i'm about to say you're kidding but i don't dare say it, not when i'm worried about hurting your feelings in case you're being genuine but i wish you'd make it more obvious
wait
i'm sure its not you being stupid
i just don't know what i'm being dense about is all. i'm confused- what am i missing here?
/little do i know i'll get the beginning to my answer in a matter of moments, faltering as you react like you do and i wonder what you said that could make you so nervous
oh
i mean yeah i can talk about it with you, i really don't mind
/now its my turn to stop when you say that your answers are going to pretty much be me, causing me to blink at you and then point at myself
me? what do you mean they're going to involve me?
/asks with a frown, wondering if you perhaps mean you're just going to use me as an example at first, but then when you look as shy as you do i realise no, its more than that
han did you do this stuff because... you like me?
and i mean more than a friend
do you... do you want to do these things with me or am i just reading into this too much?
/mutters the last part more to myself, wondering if i'm the one to stick my foot in my mouth this time, causing me to quickly add on;
if so i'm sorry -
i'd never assume something like that. i'm just trying to make sense of this stuff and- i guess i'm confused is all

@b. chan /blinking a few times, i realize i dont have a valid reason to tell you to stop, not really wanting you to stop smiling like that at me because it makes my heart beat a little faster and my tummy do flips
/so instead i blurt out the next best thing, rolling my eyes a little playfully as i lift a finger to wag it in your general direction, though i cast my gaze aside
you joked about , hyung.
dont threaten me with a good time.
/i dont really know why i say what i do, because hell you didnt even do that and it was just a stupid joke over bonding, but the words leave my lips before i have a chance to stop them
/slapping my hand over my mouth, my eyes are wide as i look over to you once again, a muffed 'sorry' falling against my palm when i feel like i took it too far
/when my hand falls away, my entire face is flushed, and i thump my head down onto the desk, enough to make a hard thwack noise and even rattle the items on the table with the force of it
either you're dense hyung, or im really stupid.
though right now im banking on the side of me being stupid.
/my words are still muffled, though now its because i refuse to lift my head and look at you after what i said, just staring holes into the table out of my own embarrassment
hyung are you sure?
are you sure you even want to talk to me about this because i feel like all im gonna do is put my foot in my mouth.
especially if you ask questions 'cause all my answers are gonna involve you.
/my face is hot, burning hot at this point, but i still dont lift my head because its a lot easier to hide away than face you, especially when i feel like i've really done it this time

@h. jisung no i didn't mean you would
it was just an example!
/drags my hand down my face before i pinch the bridge of my nose, rubbing at my forehead after before i look at you when you tell me to stop that
...stop what?
wait, what did i do?
/asks as i look at you in confusion, not for the first time since you came in here either it seems, scratching at my cheek gently with my finger
what are you not sure about exactly?
the people who can be kinda icky or something else?
i... need to stop asking you so many questions
/sinks back into my chair, lifting my arms and linking my fingers together behind my head as i recline a little, listening to you trying to explain this extraordinary thought process of yours
for me? why for me though?
you could have picked up, i don't know, any other hobby with another member
i'm just still trying to wrap my head around the idea of you delving into this because you wanted to get closer to me
i thought we already were close, i mean we make up two thirds of 3racha--
/reasons as no, no i do not realise you have a crush on me and that adds to why this whole revelation has been blindsiding me quite so much as it has
i wouldn't exactly use cool to describe myself but thank you
/straightens up as i speak, shaking out my sleeves somewhat before i lean my elbows on top of my knees, steepling my fingertips together as i look at you
yeah we can keep talking about it if you want
anything so i can stop fixating on the why bit would help
/chuckles under my breath, rubbing at my jaw somewhat before i look at my own ring on my hand, brushing my thumb over it once more
uh, i guess i should ask first if you have any questions first

@b. chan im not gonna do drugs and alcohol!
what do you take me for, huh?
/scoffing lightly, i look over to you, but then you give me that smile, the smile i've fallen for time and time again, and its truly enough to knock the breath right out of me
jeez, chan, stop doing that.
/murmurs quietly, lifting my hand to gently rub over my chest, my heart skipping a beat at that little interaction, and i shake my head to right my head after a second
oh yeah, i heard about that stuff.
still not sure what it all means...
/my brows furrow slightly, and when your hand comes to rest over my own, i feel myself relax a little, because it's natural around you, or at least for me it is
/your mention of it being a joke has me sitting there and just blinking at you for a second, debating on whether or not i should laugh, but then you fall silent and i realize that i definitely should have
/snorting softly, i glance away from you for a second and heave a sigh, once again my mind racing and telling me that yep, this was definitely a mistake to try and do this
i mean i get it, but at the same time--
i dunno, i wanted to give it a shot? for you...
/i know i've got to sound stupid, because what kind of guy gets into for his friend, but i tell myself that surely at this point you've got to know that im into you at least a little more than just best friends
/blinking a few more times, i draw my hand back only so i can hold it myself, treasuring the warmth that lingers on my skin from where your fingers had been
huh? oh i-- i mean, we dont need to drop it.
talking about it is... kind of nice? i mean unless you want to drop it.
/taking a moment, i finally lift my gaze so that i can look at you, and yet again im totally disarmed by just the way you look at me in return, my lips pursing into a small smile
you're literally such a cool guy, chan.
really.

@h. jisung whoa, han slow down
i didn't mean anything like that. you're allowed to be into whatever the heck you want, i mean besides drugs and alcoholism, please don't do those things
/laughs a little and rubs the back of my head, flashing you one of my particularly disarming smiles as i look into your eyes when you find the courage to look into my own
look, my point is i know this sub culture has a dark side and can sometimes be not the most safe of things to be into
while i've met plenty of people who make up for it, i just... i worry, you know?
/reaches my hand out and places it over one of your own, brushing my thumb over your skin in what i hope is comforting for you
and i'm also slightly concerned if your first thought for bonding with me was over . unless its a joke because... ... bonding... you know
/when you don't seem to be laughing i realise it isn't and i immediately drop it, clearing my throat instead with a nervous chuckle
i'll support you in whatever you do, han
you know that
its just not every day i have someone confess they tried to get closer to me with /that/ particular interest of mine. surely you can understand why i was taken aback at least a little?
/slides my hand away after another moment, using it to brush over the side of my neck before i roll my head in a loose circle, trying to relax so i can address this better
and hey its fine if you haven't done anything physical yet. everyone is different and needs different times for whatever they want to do
should i just drop it now?
if you want to talk more i can, i really don't mind
or we can change the topic, oooor i can just stop talking. anything at all, just tell me
/pats my hand to my chest for a moment, tilting my head as i try to get you to look at me, to see that i'm honest and i meant it when i said i was here for you

@b. chan /when you seem to hesitate, there's a brief moment of worry that flashes in my gaze, but i quickly look away and swallow thickly, trying not to think too much about it
/even so my fingers curl, half hiding the ring as i look to my laptop again, not wanting to look at you and potentially face the fact that you're not too pleased
/all within the span of a few minutes my thoughts have gotten the best of me, and i only look up and back to you when you lift your hands, my eyes wide
no, no i get it, i--
i mean, i just, you know.
/lifting a hand, i gesture a little vaguely, now its my turn to fumble because i dont want to upset you or make you feel obligated, and i scoot back a little in my chair while letting out a short laugh
god, am i an idiot or what?
anyway i-- yeah.
/clearing my throat, i try to brush off the feeling on my shoulders, turning to look at you with a wide smile, waving a little dismissively with that same hand
/it takes me a moment to figure out what to say, eyes falling back to the letters on my keyboard before i glance up to you again, but its only for a moment before i shrug
i've... i mean, i havent, uh...
its dumb but i havent really done much of anything, so there's nothing to... be safe about.
been too nervous to get out there more, you know?
/my voice falls as i admit that my anxiety, yet again, gets the best of me, and i brush the pad of my thumb over the ring while looking to it, pursing my lips quietly
maybe someone like me shouldnt have bothered.
sorry, hyung.

@h. jisung ...uh huh
/its all i can manage for now, a little stumped at this new revelation and feeling a little blindsided by it to say the least considering the topic involved
i mean
yeah
y-yeah the ring looks nice and all
/lifts my and and rubs the back of my nape, for once wishing someone else might be here to disturb the silence i'm unsure of how to break
i just...
/fumbling for words again i slide my hand from my neck to my jaw, massaging at it a little bit before i let my hands fall onto my lap
you learned about this for me? it's... i mean it's sweet of you, han
but it's not exactly a hobby that you can share with someone like sewing or knitting, you know?
and it isn't for everyone which is fine!
/holds up my hands, not wanting to upset you or make myself seem like i'm kind of ungrateful for it, i'm just struggling about how to respond to it
you know if you ever want to learn something from me, you can just ask, right?
i'd be happy to explain and stuff
even if you think its awkward, you know i'm all about communication
/nods to you before i glance at my own ring, brushing my thumb over it once and then i look at you again, my smile brightening somewhat
i'd say we could talk about it now but i doubt that's what you'd want to do
anyway
as long as you're being safe and stuff, that's all i worry about

@b. chan oh, i know the feeling.
for some reason im just not liking the flow.
/its only once you've reassured me twice that i finally relent and sit myself down in the chair next to you, tugging out my headphones and opening my laptop
/wriggling a little in my seat to get comfortable, i blink a few times before i glance over to you for just a second, especially when it feels like your eyes are burning holes into my skin
/my fingers come to rest on my keyboard, and i type in my password before i look at you once again, and this time i catch you looking between your hand and mine
/the question that follows doesnt surprise me, i was waiting for this moment exactly, i just wasnt really expecting to have to explain myself so soon
the ring? oh, hyung, you know.
/mumbles nonchalantly as i tip my chin to you to gesture to the ring on your own hand, but its on your right and thats the main difference between us
well, i... i did some research.
really it started cause i noticed stay were talking about it, but then i was like "nah that'd be weird to ask chan about" — so... did my own research.
didnt plan on getting more involved but... then i did. i mean to an extent.
/my wide eyes indicate that it hasn't really gone further than research, and i smile widely, if a bit nervously, as i glance away from you, thunb brushing over the ring as i speak
so i learned what it all meant, specifically for you. and then i... yeah.
/lifts up my left hand to show off the ring, very proud of the one i had chosen for myself, and the corners of my lips tuck into my cheeks lightly
its kinda recent!
hopefully it doesnt look bad? what do you think, chan? i'd like your opinion, you know.

@h. jisung /looks up when i hear the door open, pulling off my earphones and setting them down on my desk as i turn to look at you, giving you a smile as i do so
just some tracks, still not happy with some of them
/glancing at the door i half expect changbin to come in with you but the door remains shut, not that i mind and as you sit down i nod my head at your question
yeah sure, of course you can
i don't mind at all, the company would be nice too
/smiles again and i'm about to put my headphones back on when i glance at your ring and pause, blinking a couple of times as i then lower my hands from my ears and look at you
h-huh?
oh, yeah, stop asking
you can come in here whenever you like
/nods but i'm still staring at your ring, i wonder where you got it, do you know what it means? there's about a handful of questions in my head all vying to be asked first
/as if i think you might have accidentally picked up my own i glance at my right hand, but no, my own ring is there and you're wearing your own... on the left
uh, han?
where did you get that ring?
/asks as i look up from your hand to your face now, so round and wide-eyed, i'm having a hard time believing that someone as gentle and soft as you would have stepped into the same realm i had a long time ago
since when have you been wearing it?
i... don't think i've seen it on you before
/murmurs as i keep my tone even and open, no judgement just... confusion, and maybe slight concern because i know how gullible you can be at times

@b. chan /as of recent, i had been ver proud of myself, finding little ways to get closer to you because i figure not only will you appreciate it but its genuinely something i want to do
/and so i was wearing my new ring with pride, very much enjoying the new community i managed to get myself into, and at first it really was just to try it out, but then i found myself enjoying these kinds of things
/perhaps having a crush on you for as long as i have has aided in this, getting to know you, being a part of your life, but who can really say for sure after all
/but today was a day to focus on work, needing to touch up on a few things to go forward, but as i make my way there im fiddling with the ring on my left hand
/gently turning the handle and peering into the room, i make sure if anyone's in there at first before i see you, grinning widely for a second before relaxing my expression and stepping inside
oh, hey chan.
whatcha working on?
/with you sitting at the computer, i come to one part of the desk that isnt occupied, dragging over a chair and bringing my bag up onto the spot, fishing out my laptop after a moment
is it okay if i chll here to work, and stuff?
just gotta go over some things.
i got my headphones.
/looking over to you as i sit in the chair, my eyes are a little wide, thumb brushing over my finger before i bring it to rest on my laptop
/normally, if it was changbin in here, i'd turn around and head somewhere else without another thought, but the idea of being able to hang out with you, even if it's just the two of us sitting mostly in silence, is more appealing than anything else
i can go though, if you need me to.