@⭐️kim sunwoo It's different when it's from people I have zero romantic feelings about whatsoever. I don't think about it and I haven't even noticed...I don't hate being seen or associated with you...if I were I would be avoiding you in public at all costs...it doesn't matter if there isn't anyone now. I don't want you ruining your chances with someone that may come up later...I can't give you the love you're looking for as much as I want to Sunwoo. You're really good to me. You're good for me. But I really just? Got out of a long term (rp) relationship and I am not ready to give my all into something again. I don't think I will ever be again. At least not anytime soon. You made me feel really good inside but I haven't been making you feel very good. I want to give you my everything, but right now my everything can be my body and my friendship...it won't make me feel better to reject you and pretend nothing happened. It won't make me feel good if you just disappeared. I need you a lot. You think I don't but I do. But if I keep clinging to you right now...things will get messy. You will just end up continuing to hurt. I know now that it was probably a mistake to have friends with benefits relationship with you when you feel for me like this. I'm stupid and I was being greedy and all it did was hurt you...I'm trying really hard not to apologize right now because you hate when I do...apologizing isn't going to fix anything....
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki of course you don't. i figured out that much, i was upset over the fact you told me to stop and you let the others called you baby and stuffs when you told me to quit calling you that in public but at one point i just accepted that you probably just hate being seen with me or just being associated with me, i am not that dumb yknow. tsuki, there's none. literally. i have no one else and even if i do, i rejected them ages ago even before you approached me. special, are you sure about that? oh well, i wonder if i am because for me you sure are special. i am already insecure, no need to comment more about it. you liked me around because i made you feel good. i can't be mad about that when i am the one that told you to use me after all. but what? say it. if it makes you feel better, just reject me and say no. i will? just disappear. i am not needed much anyway.
@⭐️kim sunwoo I don't pay attention to how you speak to other people when im with you because I just pay attention to how you are treating me. I can get tunnel vision...we're friends Sunwoo, maybe something a bit more with how we are with eachother. And I know people can see that. But I don't want someone that you could potentially fall in love with think that you're taken when you're not. You're special to me, but I don't think I am the best for you. I have my own issues that I think will just make you more sad and hurt or potentially insecure in the relationship that we do have. I feel lonely when you're not around, but I know it's because of what you're seeking. I wish it were...I wish I could love you in the ways you want and need right now. I'm sorry. I don't want to be apart but...
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki we are friends tsuki, aren't we not? sometimes i wanna ask what are we even but i am sure even you can't reply that. i - do you hate people thinking that we actually have smth going on between us that much? alright then. i called everyone baby, not just you if you realized that but alright. at one point, i wondered if you knew what i meant by stop making me feel jealous but it's not like i can stop you or anything. you're your own person. nvm if you want me gone that much, i will grant it and you can always replace me, you know that. i am that replaceable. sorry for not being someone worthy and sorry for bothering you. please take care of yourself no matter what. don't miss me much, you'll be just fine without me anyway. you always do after all and finally you can bother the others. it's too late to step back anyway therefore i shall go. it's for the best. for you at least.
@⭐️kim sunwoo But calling me baby....it gives people the wrong idea. We already give people the wrong idea with how we treat eachother. Nobody calls me something intimate like that, but you call me your baby. There's a difference between how I treat my friends and how I treat someone I'm interested in...of course I'm going to be touchy with my friends in public spaces, it doesn't mean anything to me. But it's different when it's something intimate...or seriously talking about my life. I have been trying really hard to avoid certain people when you're around because you told me to try and avoid making you jealous. I'm trying. My trying isn't really enough when your feelings for me seem to be really strong. There are so many other girls here that would probably give you what you're looking for in a heartbeat...so...I don't know what I'm saying at this point...
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki what's not fair even? you know i always tell myself its okay most of the time and just think maybe its getting into my little head whenever i feel bad. i get insecure too you know, that's why i doubt a lot. even an hour ago or a day ago and i hate it when i do or get jealous over stuffs when you already told me about it before. i hate myself lmao :/ you told me not to do pda in public and i was fine with it, no calling you petnames in public okaaay but i see others doing that. what...am i supposed to feel...? i wished i can be greedy too but i decided to not ask for anything because if i asked for too much you will just leave me like that, no? that's why i said its useless and never said anything. i am respecting your boundaries tsuki and its fine if you can't understand. you don't need to.
@⭐️kim sunwoo That's not fair...but okay. I won't ask anymore...
Besides when I say I need you or want you, you usually doubt it. So I just...I don't know.
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki its useless anyway. why should i do that? nvm, i will shut up now. text me if you need me, i will be around. i guess. idk. we shall see.
@⭐️kim sunwoo You close yourself off to me whenever I am asking about these things...I wish you would just say what's on your mind instead of backing off.
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki one doesn't need reasons to like someone, tsuki. nvm you won't get it anyway. you can say that but i am well - i can't say it lmao. its fine. i am sorry once again. sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable or anything. i will just go. i will around if you need me, if i am even needed to start with aha. oh well, i should stop talking. have a nice day ahead.
@⭐️kim sunwoo Why do you keep saying that?
I am not looking for anyone, Sunwoo. And you know that. I am not looking for love or anything like that. I've already been hurt in the past by it and I'm not rushing to do it again. So there isn't anyone that will be "better" than anyone.
Purses my lips and looks away.
Why do you even like me? I can't give you what you want. Whether it's in the romance department or the department. So why do you like me so much?
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki i just feel like someone else can give you those kind of things are better than me that's why. i am sorry if you feel upset about it. you are popular, tsuki. i am sure you know that. pats your head gently. you deserve better and you know that.
@⭐️kim sunwoo You know, I don't like it when you tell me to go find someone else to give me affection when I'm asking it of you.
That made me upset. I know you probably think I have no right to be upset, but I don't like that. It feels like I'm being ? shamed in a way
@⭐️kim sunwoo Reaches up out from under my blanket to touch your crossed arms as you give me the kiss that I asked for.
My eyes shift away from you, my body following with it.
Good night, Sunwoo...
...you don't have to continue this if it hurts...
Have a good day
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki stares back down at you before folding my arms
fine fine.
heaves out a sigh and leans down gently kissing your lips.
goodnight tsuki.
@⭐️kim sunwoo I am not surprised with the way you said you hit your head the other day??
Listen I was having excruciating pain to the point I couldn't move for hours and when I called my doctor she told me to go :(
Nudges my nose against yours, scooting a bit closer to your body.
Mm...did anyone catch yiu or were you able to try and hide it?
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki well i used to went to the hospital a lot in the past so. i am one clumsy person after all - pfft, you are panicking way too much baby. smooches your forehead gently and squeezes your body. five is normal for me o good then. blinks couple of times. on stage of course - in concert - mmhm - aha ha ha tough one.
@⭐️kim sunwoo That still must've been really scary, right? I remember having to go to the hospital once because I thought my appendix burst, but turns out nothing was wrong with me and I felt like a crazy person ahah
Snuggles closer up against you.
Mhm I usually sleep just enough to not wanna die during the day....so like, at least 5 hours?
Grins at you.
Oh boy, tell me more. Where's the weirdest place it's happened for you?
@⭐️fukutomi tsuki ah yes, i got hospitalized for a day for it but its okay heh. i can handle that much. snorts a little while listening to you. as long as you sleep, that's good enough baby girl. well - true that, it does get hard for no reasons sometimes. depends on the situation and surroundings most of the time so....
@⭐️kim sunwoo Gives a relieved sigh as you rub my back, the warmth of your hand reliving some of my own muscle tension.
Did you have to go to the hospital?
Mmmm I only find that tea makes me pee a ton instead of making me sleepy. I usually go into bed about 3 hours before I'm supposed to sleep since I think a lot too. And doing that usually allows me *some* time to wind down.
Uhhuh. It is hard. But I also don't wanna be a man and not know if my pp gunna get hard for no reason because I know that happens
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