023

toxic is what i am

for you, im a poison

a venom seeping through your veins

slowly killing you while killing myself

i hate it that im like this

i hate myself

i hate a lot of things

i wish i could put you first

instead of my priorities

i wish i could let them down

then maybe I'd have someone with me

then maybe i won't hate myself so much

you know what

i actually cant take it when someone leaves me

especially someone ive grown attached to

someone that is dear to me

ive been keeping this pain for months

if you dont count what happened years ago

then yes, ive been hurting for months

and i dont let other people know

because I'd seem weaker that usual

and i hate it that i am weak

i hate it when someone doesnt take me seriously

just because i seem weak

i just want to be accepted

no pressure, just pure friendship

i want someone who won't be embarrassed of me

who wont be embarrassed of calling me a friend in public

someone who treats me in public

like how they treat me in private

but well, we cant have what we have all the time

but really, its all my fault

its always been my fault

and i hate myself for it

i hate a lot of things

i hate insects

i hate life

i hate that i have not ended my life