what i've been wanting to say

so....... happy teacups came back only to read my friends' emotional blog posts and is suddenly turned into emo teacups :c

some of you may have noticed my rare appearance, my absence on this site since the last few weeks, and some might don't. i tried to stay away from rpr for a few time already, some short hiatus, some long one (the longest i remember is 6 months), but i didn't call this site as "a toxic place" for no reason. it keeps pulling me back in again and again and i'm getting more and more emotional each and every single time.

i was first introduced to rpr on june 23, 2013. i was 15. only 4 years have passed, but now the 19-year-old me can never feel the same excitement i used to feel when i log in to the site anymore. 4 years is a short span of time, but i sure made a lot of memories here. i made a lot of friends, some i became really close to, some just the ones i usually stumbled upon in the same rps. i'm not one that can easily feel attached to someone, but when one of my closest friends deactivated their account or suddenly disappeared without a trace, my heart breaks into million pieces. it hurts so bad that i'll start distancing myself from people, still joining rps but i'll become really disclosed until i find someone that i can really open my heart to again. and the cycle repeats. i admit, sometimes when i feel extremely under the weather, when i feel like no one cares about me, when everyone has forgotten about me, i just want to deactivate my account and never come back here again. but i didn't. i can't. because i know that in our life, people come and go. no matter how you treasure a friendship, how hard you're trying to hold onto it dearly, you can't force someone to stay when they have their own priority.

okay now let's not get too serious. i have much more things to say but how to express something when you're an introvert who doesn't use so many words even irl gdgshjjgdgjsdkakdkugykassbcvcjcvhcdcvd h e av e s last words, let's live our lives, keep loving each other and make more happy memories together c:

#whatisenglish #teacupsisback #nyello #howtofindamuse #letmedisappearforeverafterpostingthis