When you want to be a good writer but you feel like everything you produce is crap...

I'm struggling and it's not even writer's block this time. I'm noticing a pattern with my writing now. I'm seeming more and more distant like I can't get my characters to interact with others and it's making me wary about replies I haven't even done yet. My fics that I would like to write are taking forever now because I can't seem to make things flow well, at least that's how it feels.

I can't tell if I'm down because my writing is terrible lately or if my writing is terrible lately because I'm feeling down and it's really messing with me and making me sad either way. I want to do all my replies and I get excited when I see that one of you wonderful people have replied to me. I even get excited to read them, well, the ones that I read. Sometimes I don't let myself read them because I like to be surprised or whatever you'd like to call it. I just... I always feel bad for telling you guys that I'm just not mentally okay with writing or that my...mentality as of late(?) is making is hard for me to write.

I have so many wonderful people that I've come across here and are trying to create beautiful stories with, whether it's here, kik, kakao, line, etc. I just want you to know that I really appreciate you guys. Seriously.

The asylum rp that I want to do? I have a description thing written up for it but I'm also kind of scared to post it or to even start the rp because my rps never really seem to get off the ground. Or at least they just don't really last. They're active for a like a week and then that's it...

I have an idea for a plot that I was going to ask if anyone wanted to do but I'm not going to post it or anything because I have people that I should reply to and it's kind of fluffy and I seem to just...not be okay writing and all lately. I feel like I'm giving excuses and I'm sorry. Really. It probably is as repetitive as it always is coming from me but I really do mean it each time I say it.

I also really mean it when I say that I adore and appreciate you all so much. Just. I do. Thank you.