I hate feeling like this

I honestly just feel like pure . Worse than . I don’t even deserve to feel like that’s how ty I feel and how ty I am. I’m a ty person who is ed up in the head. And I can’t even control my own ing emotions. In times that I feel like this is when I honestly feel like I’m better off dead, and I can’t even do that which in all honesty pisses me off. I’m such a ing coward...in the end though everybody just cares about themselves, no one cares about you. And yet pretty much whenever someone asks me to do something I say yes. Why the can’t I say no? Why the can’t I function in rp’s if I have two or less characters? Why can’t my rp’s be successful? I guess I really am just that ty of a person and an even tier admin. Why do I always have so many characters in roleplays? Because I ing love it. But then this happens and then I don’t wanna be ing bothered and it makes people think I’m being greedy. I’m not being greedy I genuinely love each of my characters. It’s just that nobody else does it seems. I’m a writer, I’m a performer, I come up with characters all the time. But I digress cuz that’s not even what this is about or what I’m upset about. I’m just an overall too sensitive up. That’s probably why my stepdad kicked me and my mom out. My brother and stepsisters were always the favorite anyway.

Yeah idk how long it’s gonna be but I’m not gonna be here much for a while. I just don’t care anymore...and I want to care...but idk how right now...I just wanna ing cry...and die...and I can’t do either...I just don’t wanna do this anymore...I’m so ing tired...