jealoussyyyyyy

it's a really good monsta x song, it's also a horrible feeling that sits at the pit of your stomach itt''ssss 

jealoussyyy

a lot of us feel this, right? like i feel possessiveness and jealousy is quite common with people. like-- who likes it????

recently, i've come to realize that i'm extremely possessive. i don't exactly know why but i know i feel it. 

you can't tell me that you're not jealous. seeing one of your best friends be better friends with someone else rather than you? that's a ty feeling. 

it doesn't even stop at how bad rpr is for people like me. because I KNOW that i shouldn't be jealous when one of the people's i'm in a relationship with are being cute with another person BUT HECK I AM. it's not an angry jealousy, okay, it's more like a "wow they must like that person so much more than me" "they are so much cuter together than we are" or, the worst one, "i'm not good enough" which makes NO SENSE BECAUSE this is an rp website. 

my stupid brain just doesn't interpret that, you know?

i just felt it recently, not gonna name names, but it made me feel really ty. like, so ty that i just had to... leave, for a bit. and it was mostly because i want to be closer with this person, more so than i already am, because i really like them. and someone else is like,, kinda closer to them then me and I WANT to be close to theM BUT I'M TOO AWKWARD AND I JUST FJGFSDFGD

they might see this but i'm really good at being vague pew pew pew

i just wanted to whine because i felt really ty but it was dumb

let's all be dumb together and whine