(midlife crisis r a nt)

111 views

AuthorCreamyy

Created Jun 19, 2018 13:22:27

Tags anxiety rant

hey it me. remember when i rage quit rpr bc my irl ex boyfriend found my lay character grinding up on a boy and was messaging me and tormenting me with *pushes up against the wall* bs just to make me cringe? henlo welcome to my life and it's never ending rollercoaster ride of problems. this episode we will be tackling unemployment, parents that pressure their adult children into a deeper hole of depression and social anxiety than they were already struggling to climb out of, and what the am I doing with my life. You know I would rant over at aff but everyone on there kinda and gives me bs while I try to express my mental issues sooo yeah no thanks.

The story begins when I manage to talk myself into going into a job seeking appointment (that I didn't ask for but will probably stop getting paid if I don't attend) rather than going and getting myself yet another medical certificate that exempts me from having to go but now the reality of GETTING A JOB has just hit me and i'm freaking out and not entirely feeling up to it anymore. the guy i spoke with today said I have 2 days to get me a referee for my resume and ummmm with my weak heart I probably don't have the confidence to ask and even if I do, I don't actually want a job. call me crazy but i'm just not ready yet.

then we also have my parents who want to force me to go back to study when I kind of failed because of my social anxiety so I feel like going back with the same social anxiety isn't going to help me? idk man that's just me. my parents keep reminding me that i'm eventually going to have to pay back for the courses that I failed twice already and i tell them that it's going to be an even bigger amount if I try my luck at another year with the high possibility of me failing again. seriously ftbs they're literally not listening to me. I tell them 'not now' and my mum responds with a heavy sigh of grief going 'I don't know what you're going to do with your life.'

I SAID 'NOT NOW' NOT 'NOT EVER'

Comments

You must be logged in to comment.

a73d7e442dcef899084f 6 years ago

I get how you feel. I graduated college but still have the same crappy job in retail I had before. The pay and they treat me like crap and I know I’m tired and stressed but I just can’t bring myself to find a new job. My social anxiety for new situations makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it. I want a better job, a better life, I know if I tried I would be good at it and it does feel good to actually work once you’ve adjusted to the job but the initial shock factor is hard for my anxiety to get over.
My parents are constantly on my case with what I’m doing with my life as well but yet they make it harder on me in some ways. I might not have to pay rent yet but they are always asking me if I found a new job or tell me that I should be home more. They tell me one thing and then the opposite right after it’s tirjnf. So I get yah

LilacTears 6 years ago

I was in a similar situation as you only difference is my family started getting on me when I was still in my last year of school. I didn't want to work because I have anxiety. I'm sure yours is much worse. Like I dreaded the idea but once I found a job its like you are forced to do good and because I knew I was getting paid to just do what I was hired for it made it easier for me to talk to people and build my confidence. I kind of peeked at the other person's comments. Honestly, volunteering is great but you won't build your confidence that way because you know you aren't getting paid to do anything interactive with customers. Definitely try out a grocery store because they have different departments. Start out in a department with less customer interaction.

acuteassmess 6 years ago

i can understand that tbh. i didn't even want a job but now that i do have a job that is tiring asf, i am happy because i can buy anything i want with my own money without having to worry about saving it tbh. you are independent and you don't even have to ask for money for your parents anymore, don't you want smth like dat? your parents are worried dat you ain't gonna do nothing with life but just stay home and they don't want you to do dat, they want you to get out of the house and do smth in your life. you don't even have to go to college if you don't want to, at least get a job so you don't have to hear your parents pressuring you ever again. i give you the best of luck of finding a job bc finding one these days that needs hiring is rare.