I've been writing since I was twelve years old. Of maybe, I've been writing for even longer, if I can believe my grandma, who told me I made my own picture book when I was seven years old and had her write down the story to the pictures I drew for her. I was always the weird kid at home and the older I grew, the "worse" it got. Actually, I think writing was my coping mechanism, my getaway and my own personal kind of freedom. I bet it's like that for a lot of people.
Now at the age of "too old to be writing fanfiction", I am still writing. I write every single day, if I can make the time.
I write on rpr, I write on ao3, I write in my notebook and even on my phone. I have STACKS of unused ideas that will never be written and are collecting dust in my brain-shelves and drawers. Writing is my art, my creation and I am very passionate about it.
But I've always felt like I'm lacking something, I always compared myself to the authors I like, the books I read, the fanfictions I came back to over and over again and then, finally, I compared myself to the writers here on rpr. It killed me - or at least the part of me that used writing as a safe haven, a thing to calm myself down. I felt as if I'm under pressure all the time to be even better, use bigger words and make my rpr posts as long as I can possibly get them by painting the Mona Lisa with words. And then - at some point - I stopped doing that and didn't give a damn anymore.
If every writer on this planet had the same style, would we even read different books? Would we have favorites and different genre?
I actually don't thinks so. This is by no means critisism to those who like their colorful writing styles, but I came to the point where I realized: That is just not MY writing style. And I am content with my writing style, even if it might not be everybodies cup of tea. I like the way I write, the way I create my worlds and the way I get the emotions my characters are feeling across to my readers and rping partners.
Why do I write this blog post, some might ask. Ok here is my answer:
You are not author X or rper Y.
You are your own writing style and comparing yourself to others might help you develop your own writing stlye, but Rome wasn't built on one day.
The process of finding your own voice in your writing is important. It defines the entire tone of your art, your message. And in the end it will make you SO MUCH happier to have your own writing style, to be content with the things you throw out there into the world - be it on RPR, ao3, ff.net or even tumblr.
Your own writing style will be what people recognize, not something you try to be. If you try to copy the style of someone else, people will always compare you to that and this will not bring you the satisfaction you DESERVE. Writing is a tedious and exhausting process sometimes. You can feel drained and tired after sitting down and writing long posts or chapters to your stories. Writing isn't easy. Everybody who tells you it's easy is lying, trust me.
Just don't pressure yourself to be someone else, if you can be you. The voices of writers are music in the minds of those who read their work.
So give yourself the time you deserve and need to develop, to grow bigger and find the style that suits you and the voice inside of you.
Love, a writer
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