You suddenly start to rapidly lose muse? Like for the last two months my muse has been at an all time high and so I joining a bunch of roleplays, revamped two of mine and helped create a few. And I was hella active too. But now it’s like...it’s almost like when you get a sugar rush and then start to crash. And it feels like I’m crashing. Like part of me wants to just leave all the roleplays but I love them too much to leave them orz.
Lowkey probably gonna leave every roleplay except the ones I’m an admin in and ones where my charas have built relationships with other charas. Every place else I might leave I haven’t decided yet orz.
maybe it’s all just a mental thing idk. I mean I haven’t taken my meds in like three weeks (I know I know bad idea but I keep forgetting and now I’m at the point where I just don’t wanna be bothered orz), my body is in constant excruciating pain which is being made worse because of the rain, I’m having major writers block and it’s pissing me off, I’m going on a month now since my mother has been in Ohio way past how long she was supposed to say and I’m having panic attacks and my separation anxiety is super hella triggered. And I’m alternating between wanting to kill someone, wanting to kill myself, wanting to everything and anything and wanting to do nothing at all.
i don’t reach out to any of my friends because they either don’t care or I don’t wanna burden them or both, and I obviously can’t tell my mom cuz she’s stressed enough as it is I can hear it in her voice when we talk.
TL;DR OF THIS LONG BLOG POST THAT HAS NO PURPOSE
ya girl is at her breaking point once again and her sanity is hanging by a super thin thread so if I’m not around for a bit that’s why. I don’t wanna bring it out in my charas (except for the ones that it makes sense for) so replies are gonna be more spread out and probably shorter for a while. Hopefully I'll get over this soon and be back on track orz
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