Just a heads up... I guess...

So, I just kind of want to give everyone a warning. If my posts seem stupid or lame or just, you know, not all there, please, forgive me. I have a muse to some degree. But it's just been a rough...month, probably a month and a half really.

It's darkly amusing because it just feels like my family has fallen apart and Christmas is right around the corner at this point. This is the first Christmas that I can ever remember where the house hasn't been decorated for the holiday. It doesn't feel like the holidays, not including outside of "home."

I just keep having these swings of emptiness and loneliness and my counselor said that I may be going through... e_e -googles the proper name because I can't remember it now-

I can't even find the name. But whatever. He said that, at least how I described feeling lately, is like a mild depression. Woo! I haven't been diagnosed or anything. But yeah. And it's literally just the feelings aftermath of the mess these past four weeks have been. I would be lying if I said I felt like I really had a family anymore and, more often than not, it feels like I have no friends because I don't have anyone to, like, run to or hide away with to just be held. It's honestly lonely and I just feel really empty lately... I just said that. fml

But I just wanted to make it clear that I want to be here and I want to rp, well, everywhere I have an rp. There's so much that I want to do and just...yeah...

Also, I'm trying to write fics again. (ihm) I love writing though... Speaking of, would anyone like to be my beta reader? And just kind of help me proofread? I have a few fics that I want to post and all but yeah. -sighs-

If I don't feel anything, how can I say that I'm alive and well? Aren't emotions and feelings what really make us alive? Make us more than just a beating heart?

Anyway. Yeah, I guess that's about it.

Thank you for reading~

Have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening wherever you are. And remember that, no matter where you, who you are, you are loved. ♡