i'm tired of trying

hello, it's has been a long time! it's your favourite oppang, atychiphobia. so i am here to talk about myself, coughs blood. i just i don't know where i can share about this, no one really understand what i am currently feeling right now sighs. i feel so tired of trying, tired of giving and tired of loving. i feel like i'm drowning into a cold sea. lately, i feel so negative about myself. i'm so sorry if i had joined your rp and after that i am not active anymore. i really tried to be active like the old days but i can't. 

so i met many boys for the past months, and many of them were just a sweet fling, only a few of them stayed. i really like this guy and we kind of have chemistry with each other but..i can't describe what he did to me. he messed me up with his excuses. he told me he doesn't text well bcs it's his way so i said it's ok. actually we do text everyday but like only 3 or 2 times a day? it's for my overthinking self.

and last night, i just got back from tesl interview but i can't use my phone since my charger broke. no message from him and when i opened his status this afternoon, he posted many pics with girl. what do you expect me to feel? i feel numb to the point of not feeling anything.

i don't know what to feel, he texted me this evening like nothing happened but i'm not answering it.