alas, the time has come

when i finally leave seoul (i was here on an exchange term). tldr at the end.

for those who know me and have been talking to me over the past 4 months i've been here, you will know how much i've fallen in love with this city. it's everything i've ever imagined my dream city to be, and more.

of course, it's not perfect, and i did encounter several challenges. not only the language barrier, but society-wise, making friends, maintaining friends, etc. 

it's been a rollercoaster, but a fun one for sure. 

i leave in just around 48 hrs, but the last i'll be seeing of the city is tomorrow. and it just struck me today, as i was gazing out over the han river, that i'll be leaving. that some sights i won't get to see in a while at least; that i need to cherish those memories, engrave them into the back of my eyelids and in the fabric of my heart. 

not gonna lie, it fxxxing hurts. it is quite literally paining me just at the thought of leaving. i had no idea i would fall so deeply in love with it, but here i am, sobbing as i type this out amidst packing lol. 

anyway, i just wanted to let y’all know that i first of all apologize for any mood swings/lack of mood you might experience from my side. i'm sure my departure will hurt like a darn truck, and my mood will probably sour for a while even though i'll try to keep it fresh. so... i just want to give y’all a heads up and an apology if you happen to encounter me in such a state. 

i also might just be absent, or probably lurk like a ghost, depending on how busy i'll be with family now that i'm going back home for the holidays. i love family, but god, they are so difficult to deal with sometimes and just- i've grown too attached to the freedom of living alone that i'm finding it hard to adjust back to living with family. so i doubt i'll stay away for too long at a stretch, but in case it does happen here's a warning too. 

anyway, tldr, i might be on and off because of emotions and family now that i'm finally leaving seoul after 4 months. it's been one of my best life experiences so i'm going to definitely struggle to go back to the routine life and struggles of my uni. 

i hope y’all are having good days though, and hope y’all enjoy your upcoming holidays! stay strong.