haha heeyyyy how y'all doing :D
so ya homegirl disappeared for months lol, and it's nothing new since i'm always gone every few weeks but i think this has been the longest, like... ever haha
anyways, there have been uhh developments since my last mess of a blog post. good developments though, all good uwu
i've been spending more time just focusing on myself, trying to take care of myself as best as i can. in many ways.
hmm, miss rona made a pit stop at my household back in may and my whole family got sick, but thankfully there were no lasting effects. i went to get an antibody test a few days ago since i didn't get the chance to get tested while i was sick, but my dad already had a positive antibody test. so this test is more to just make sure that i did have it, i guess lol
as a big part of trying to take care of myself, i've finally started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist regularly now that i have insurance. and uh i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so that was loads of fun.
honestly it took a while for me to come to terms with the diagnosis, since i have never been one to focus on myself and my emotions aS WE ALL KNOW LMAOOO. but once i did start thinking and reflecting and looking back on past experiences, it was honestly so obvious and... it was an adjustment, for sure
i've been on a few medications for the last four months, and they took a while to see any effects or improvements what with all the dosage adjustments. but now that those are all done with and i'm on a normal regimen, oh man do they worK
i never thought i'd be able to say this, but i feel so stable. and it's so amazing to feel like this finaalllyyyyy. i'm finally eating normally, sleeping normally (for the most part), i'm not such an anxious mess anymore, i'm not so sad anymore. it's wonderful.
i mean, it's not to say that i don't have bad days. there are still bad days, for sure. but they don't come around as often, and when they do they're not as intense as they used to be... mostly. but the good days finally outweigh the bad days
haha okay anyways, i haven't been on here much and it's finally ok. i spent some time on another account, but tbh i think my time here is done hehe. at least, until i feel the need to log back in again lmao
so maybe this is bye? or see y'all later? i dunno yet, i guess we'll just have to wait and see how things go
i love you guys, i hope you're all living your best lives and take care of yourselves and doing things that make you feel gooooood. i've been cleaning and coloring a lot, it's so fun haha
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