Day 1

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AuthorTymbir
Created
Status [M]
Tags life 

 

Dear blog,
 
I feel like to much is expected of me nowadays, it's putting my health at risk, thats what I've noted from this past year. Every day I have to stand tall despite everything. I've watch my world cave in and burn before my eyes. Then have to restart from the ashes. 
 
I've lost someone close to me who I held close to my heart. I told them to off, that was my most foolish mistakes I've ever made. I want to say I was wrong, and ask for forgiveness but I can't do that.... What I said I don't think well be friends and that hurts.
 
My friends see me strong and brave, but I don't feel like that at all. What they see in me I'll never get. The darker aspects of my mind cloud my thoughts. They see me as well ... I don't know. 
 
My sister says she hates me and that I'm a bother to her and that of such. I hurts that she say that and that she acting like me. I'm scared of that, my sister want to be just like me. I'm dishonest, cruel, bad and flat out mean.  I don't want her to turn out like me but learn from what I've done.
 
To who ever reads this- I know I have I better than most but that what keeps me going. Someone has it worse than me.
 
Until tomorrow 

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GatoWubs2Bite 11 years ago
Tori I love you and I know whats been going on has been hurting you alot. I've talked a little to Meagan, she wants things to go back to normal too. Trust me none of us wants to see ou in pain.

Sometimes you stand too strong, show us your vulnerable side every now and then. Just like in choir, "Lean on me, when youre not strong, I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on" Because true friends stick up for eachother no matter what side of themselves they show. Were your friends, you dont need to be strong anymore :) Thats a valuable lesson I had to learn too just recently.

Its all thanks to you, Meagan and especially Jen that I realized that I never let them into my personal life. I didnt show them I needed them as much as I did. This reminds me alot about lean on me, that song in choir.

Just remember, you can talk to me about anything thats on your mind or breaking your heart. I want to be that shoulder you can lean on :) hope you get better
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