before i say my apologies, i want to let you know that you have every right to accept or not accept my apology. you were affected most by everything that has happened. it was immature of me and i should have known better, but i didn't. i'm not apologising because i got called-out, but mainly because i can finally apologise for the things i have said. you can interpret this apology in whichever way you feel, though, in no way am i going to make this sound like a half-assed one. you are a victim. you have every right to feel hurt, frustrated, angry, violated, damaged— whichever feeling it is, you are human and most of all you are a victim. in this blog, i'm specifically going to apologise to floraison because out of everyone else, i genuinely feel like i have hurt you the most. though, if anyone else is hurt by my words, you have every right to feel that way. and, i am extremely sorry. i know actions speak louder than words, but in the context of this, i hope you can sincerely consider how apologetic i am.
floraison, you deserve an apology. for the things i have said and done to make you feel like you were worth nothing. i personally never talked to you so everything that i have said about you was through things i've heard from others. still, that should NOT give me permission to blindly talk bad about you. i judged a book by its cover and i have to pay the prices now— and i will gladly do so.
in no way am i going to give an excuse for the things i have said, but regarding the fb thing— i was at my lowest so i was easily influenced to do things that i later realised were wrong. and for that, i will take full responsibility for the things i have said. i don't want to turn things around and act like i'm the victim here because, as i said again before, YOU are the victim in this situation. you were affected by it. you were brought up, but i didn't think to stop.
there was always something in the back of my head telling me to apologise for the things that i have said and done to hurt you and everyone else— but i didn't know how to. i regretted it. i wish i could go back and talk myself out of that situation and just live my best life— but i can't. i can't because i know that i will always be reminded of the things that i have done to break you. i wish that i could personally apologise to you, floraison. but sadly, i cannot. you had every right to block me— so does everyone else! you are hurting and i know that i can't do anything else except apologise. i understand that you will probably never forgive me. you don't have to! you are your own person and everyone deals with apologies in their own way. i can't force you. but, i'm going to say again that i will take full responsibility for the things i have said and done to hurt you and everyone else. i am sincerely sorry, floraison. you and everyone else deserve the best in the world. im sorry for being immature and not realising that words can hurt. you are wonderful in your own way— so is everyone else. you matter and you are so strong for being able to hold your head up high. i'm sorry if this is really long— i needed to think this through so that my apology really feels like an apology to you. i'm sorry for everything. i can't take anything back, but i shall grow into a better person so that no one else has to get hurt.
to everyone else that is hurt and disappointed by the decisions i have made, i am extremely sorry. you too deserve an apology. you have every right to acknowledge my apology or not as you were the ones affected by it, not me. i hold no ill-intention to anyone and i'm sorry that i've hurt you. i wish nothing but the best for you all in the future as you guys absolutely deserve it and more.
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