Breathing hurts.
Well, that's an understatement really.
It's utterly excruciating.
He can't think of any other way to put it, especially considering he's never experienced pain like this before. He isn't sure what's hunting him. He's already been disowned by God.
What else could even want him?
His skin is discolored from the numerous bruises tainting his once perfect skin, his large wings wide but unable to carry him anywhere thanks to the chunks of feathers he's lost. He can't see blood or feel it but he can smell it and taste it, although he's not sure where it's coming from. The rain is ice cold as it ricochets off of his skin. It feels like tiny daggers with how fragile he is at the moment.
If anything, he should be scared.
He has every right and reason to be terrified but, of all things, that's the one thing he doesn't feel. There's a numbness that's overcome him and settled into his bones.
How can an immortal feel so... human?
In his head, there are emotions that make sense. Things he understands but he doesn't understand why he's feeling them. Abandonment isn't the right word but loneliness might be. Fear isn't right either but, for some reason, longing is. He doesn't want redemption. Doesn't feel that he deserves it.
How dare he even consider something so grand when he only has himself to blame for where he has ended up?
He wraps his wings around himself, trying to find some sort of semblance of protection against the chill in the air. His eyes, dark as a raven's feathers, watch everyone walking by. He cannot be seen but he finds himself longing for someone to extend their hand. Then again, he isn't sure what that would even do. Even if someone could see him, hear him, there's nothing they could do for him except to maybe put him out of his misery.
A hand brushes his right wing before one does the same to the other. It isn't an accidental motion. It's clearly deliberate as it is repetitive. It's such a gentle touch that he feels a warmth trying to seep into him, though the feeling only makes his chest ache and his gut twist.
"You need bandages... You need care."
The voice is soft and gets him to open his eyes, which he'd closed the very instant he first felt the touch. He looks into the eyes of someone that's looking back at him, looking through him almost. His body curls in on itself and the weight of his pain makes him crumble, the individual in front of him embracing him, holding him at the waist. He's so weak that he can't even flinch in pain. He doesn't understand why there's a sense of relief washing over him. He doesn't deserve even this.
He doesn't deserve to be seen.
"If you can walk, will you come with me? Or should I bring back a kit to tend to you?"
"Walk," he manages to utter out in response, bracing himself as he moves with the stranger. He shudders as he's reminded of his pain with each step, his bones feeling hollow as the pain seems to echo through them and amplify themselves as they mix and mingle with one another amongst the channels in his body.
Maybe this person will be gracious enough to kill him if he asks kindly, although he can't help thinking he would never truly die. He'd wake up elsewhere in due time with memories of everything. Not reincarnation. Nothing like that. The same exact body. The same exact terrors and pains. The darkness haunting him.
Reaching their destination, he follows his guide inside. He eventually realizes they're in a bedroom as he sits in the middle of the floor.
"How can you see me...?"
"How..." The repetition is mindless, a mental note to answer once their hands are no longer hunting for what they're looking for. "'The pure in heart shall see the kingdom of God.'"
"You are... a believer...?"
They sit in front of him and begin to tend to his wounds one by one. There's silence and no eye contact but there's peace. A light and a warmth resonating from somewhere that he simply cannot pinpoint.
"I believe but I don't know why I see you."
Their answer is unsettling and only makes him question more.
"I saw those hunting you as well. Mocking you as they watched you writhe in that alleyway. They toyed with you until you fell from the rooftop. It took a long time for me to reach you. You were further away than I thought you were."
"How...?"
"My father a priest and my mother a demon hunter. Living it is much odder than it sounds."
"There are...humans that hunt demons...?"
"There are. It's not like they speak about in the books or show in the movies. They appear more like exorcists in my opinion but I don't know if she sees what I see and I don't speak to my parents about it."
"This is usual for you?"
"No, you're the first angel I've seen. I don't usually see any sort of demons or other angels either. I can sense it all but you are the first I've ever seen."
"I am... fallen..."
"You were loved," the human speaks, finally making eye contact. It lasts for a long moment although still brief, "You are loved. But you are distant. You are worth more. You are still the beautiful angel you always have been."
He says nothing, although tears well in his eyes. They run down his cheeks, turning into a steady flow that drips from the tip of his nose and his chin. The human continues bandaging him up, seemingly unfazed. After cleaning up the leftover straps of the wraps and the cleaning wipes and cloths, their gazes meet again. The feel of the human's palm against his cheek coaxes him to close his eyes, his body feeling heavy again but not of weakness. Instead, he feels himself succumbing to warmth. The same one that he was feeling earlier. As his body grows heavier, the weight of his pain is slowly lifting and he feels he can find rest here, even for a brief moment. As his body gently meets the floor, he hears the words that lull him the rest of the way to sleep.
"You are well. You will be okay."
A/N: If you've read this, thank you very much. This is something that just flew from inspiration. Inspired by: "Lovely" by Billie Eilish with Khalid. There is no particular story. I'm torn between creating a character for an rp or a fic of a fallen angel where only this human can see him. I wasn't sure why the human could but, through writing this, I just imagine that being raised in a religious household has kept the human connected to the spirit world. As mentioned above, they could always sense things even if they couldn't see them. Part of me wanted to make it deeper but I don't know. Even at the surface, I like that layer of dynamic alone.
Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed. Thank you again! And, please, take care of yourself and love yourself. You are important and loved, whether you realize it or not. Whether you feel lost or comfortable in every inch of who you are, you don't owe anyone an explanation for the power you hold within your heart. Just remember to always use your light for good. Share love and peace and kindness and consideration and remind others they are not alone either. That, even if today isn't okay, some day things will be. Some day. ..
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