Sick. (ASTRO Moon Bin Drabble)

!!TW: Mentions, both direct and implied, of the following: Gaslighting, Emotional, Physical and Mental Abuse, Suicide, Homocide, Murder, Kidnapping, Stalking

PS. I wrote this on my phone using my Docs app and I'm posting it here via my phone so please forgive me for typos and such. Thank you. <3

PSS. I just watched Sanha and Moonbin's new MV (and I actually forgot the name that fast. I think I'm getting old. Help me) and I've been obsessed with Stray Kids' Venom since it came out or since I first heard it, whichever came first (the chicken or the egg). I have just been really wanting to write an obsessive and dark character lately. I may either write another darker version of this or something more extensive with him because I may have just built myself a new muse and I'm very much into it but, anyway, happy belated holidays and a belated happy new year, my kiddos and I love you. If you feel no one else loves you, just remember you have me. I hope you all remember that you're important and love and that you matter. 
 

Shutting up now. Please, enjoy. <3

-----

“I’ve been told I’m sick in the head.

You hear something enough— you consume something enough, you start to believe it.

But, then again, I don’t think they’re wrong.”

The locks on the door are loud, the sounds echoing against the concrete walls. The room usually feels cold but maybe it doesn’t anymore because she’s gotten used to it. The fear that once set in her eyes whenever she caught a glimpse of him coming through the door is now gone. It’s just another thing that she’s gotten used to. That’s fine with him. He’d prefer stoic to antsy screaming any day.

“It’s dinner time,” he calls, that naturally innocent smile of his making his face light up.

She’s not in the mood to eat. She hasn’t eaten all day and she can’t say that she wants to either. It’s only been a few days but it really feels like she’s been with him forever.

In his mind, she has been with him forever.

“I’m sure you can go longer without eating but I wouldn’t recommend it,” he smiles, managing to cup her cheek before she turns away.

The movement is too weak to relay any sort of seriousness and, as a result, he chuckles, taking a step back and placing the tray on the nearby table. It’s when he does so that fear starts creeping up her spine, right from the bottom. It’s settling in her back and is coming close to making her shiver entirely. Biting her lip, she hopes that helps at least a little in keeping her grounded.

“If you have something to say, why don’t you go ahead and say it, or are you scared I’ll do something like cut your tongue out?”

The shivering is stalling in the middle of her back. She’s stifling it as best she can, worried it could either make him angry or be something he’d simply get off on. She doesn’t answer and that boyish smile fades.

. 

She swears at herself and the way he jerks his head to look at her makes her feel like he can hear her thoughts.

“I’ll sound crazy if I say this is your fault but it wouldn’t be beneficial to lie,” he frowns, squatting down in front of her before settling on his knees. He looks up at her and continues, “You don’t understand just how deeply I wanted to be with you, do you? How that’s all I wanted. Nothing more. You don’t understand the lengths I was willing to go to make you happy, keep you on your pedestal… but you didn’t want that.”

She looks away from him, not wanting to believe any of this was her fault. Something wasn’t right with him from the beginning. She didn’t see the signs though. How could she? No one they know would ever guess that he would lock her away in some unfinished room of his home. He never showed a single sign that he was the obsessive type.

“You don’t believe me, do you? That you broke me,” he questions and she refuses to look at him, “You stole my innocence away. You took my heart and toyed with it. It’s my fault for letting you. Everyone kept telling me you’re no good for me and how you’d just eat me up and spit me out and I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that you would cheat on me. That you would embarrass me in front of all of our friends. That you would lie and call me a stalker… I did everything for you… Anything you asked of me because I was just happy to be caught up in your web. Even if I was your prey, at least I was yours… but that’s such a sick way to live, isn’t it?”

Now, she looks at him and he laughs. It’s an incredibly sad sound at that, not maniacal or menacing in any way.

“Binnie…”

He halts at the nickname, his smile showing for a brief moment before it fades, “What? You only call me like that when you want something. Are you calling me that now because you’re scared?”

“If you hurt me or kill me, your innocence will really be gone and we don’t want that, right?”

He furrows his brows before raising one, confused, “‘We?’ We don’t want that? You really like to backtrack, don’t you? It’s been nothing but you. You, you, you lately and here we are now. You don’t have the upper hand and that’s the only thing that scares you. You don’t want to lose.”

“No, you , I’m scared you’re going to do something stupid—”

“—and kill you, right? It’s about you again. People like you… It really takes a lot to get you to learn your lesson,” he slowly walks over to her, standing behind her and resting his hands on her shoulders. Tracing down her arms, he leans down and whispers in her ear, “I had too much of your venom. It’s made me sick.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!?”

“I made you my queen and you ate my heart out. I took everything you said to heart. Everything you told our friends, everything you wanted me to believe I am, I gave you a taste. You know what’s scary though? I like this. I like it a lot.”

“You really are crazy.”

“Crazy would have killed you the day I brought you back, or maybe not. Maybe you’re right. Keeping you here like this definitely isn’t sane.”

“Exactly, so let me go.”

“How are you this demanding even when you don’t have the upper hand? Besides, there’s nothing you could say to anyone. No one would believe you anyway.”

“You really don’t think I could get the cops to believe that you kidnapped me with the intent of killing me?”

“Anyone that knows us, that knows me, knows now about how you lied on me. You think I’m the one that turned them against you,” he laughs, another sound of hurt, “One of them caught you hitting me for being two minutes late to meet up. Another caught you cussing me out because I bought you the wrong dessert. Remember that time you pulled my hair because I wore a shirt you don’t like and how you said out loud that you didn't care that it’s my favorite shirt. You even threatened to break up with me over it. At some point, I started to see it but I let it all slide because I wanted you. They got fed up though and let you believe that they believed what you said. I thought they were really on your side. At least I know they actually care about me. Besides, they all told me about you cheating. I knew of a few of them but there were so many more than I thought.”

“They’re just as crazy as you are. I took care of you. I gave you everything. I loved you.”

“No, you loved that I worshiped you. That I gave you everything and let you feed off of me until there was almost nothing left. You’re not scared to lose me; you’re scared to lose a pawn.”

She presses her lips in a tight line, scoffing at him, “Moon. Bin. This isn’t like you at all. I can’t believe you’re really trying to turn everything on me.”

“You know, our friends started to joke, calling me ‘Venom.’ They say that I can take a lot of it and still come out okay. I guess they’re right. No one is going to know you died because of me though.”

“…Wha… What did you just say? You’re going to kill me?”

“You’re going to kill yourself.”

“I am not! Let me go! Now!”

“I’m going to. In the morning, you can do whatever you want. You’ll be free to go wherever you want.”

She finally looks at home and stares at him, that fear that had gone up her spine now feels like ice sitting in her veins.

“It’s fine if you don’t get it now. But, just know,” he pauses and walks over to her, whispering in her ear, “I’m going to drive you so incredibly mad over me, you’re going to want to die. Hopefully, you don’t go hurting yourself. I gave you too many years and too much of my money and love to let you off that easily. I gave you everything and, now, I’m going to take it all back.” He steps back, picking up the tray and walking toward the door, “I told you I have a lot of your poison in me and you’ve taught me so much. Now, watch me have my fun.”

He smiles widely, genuinely and brightly before the door locks shut, each click of each lock making her ears ring.