i’m back.. news and updates from me

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Authorwisper
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Boy have I been gone a while. 

First and foremost I would like to start off with an apology. I apologize to those I just vanished on, to those I ghosted, to the places I went inactive, and to those who may not even know/remember me but are reading this anyway. I left. I was gone for almost 6 months, dealing with things I will address later on in this very post. It's not exactly in my nature to drop off the face of the earth entirely, even being an introverted recluse... but I genuinely had to go. Let's get into the meat and bones as to what happened. 

TW: Mentions of cancer, death, negative thoughts, bad habits. 

It all started when my family and I had a massive rift. Everyone kind of burst apart, and while it theoretically was started by me, their reactions were unjust. I came out to them as aual, panromantic, and basically told them I did not follow their religious beliefs and would no longer participate in their methods of worship. I grew up in a very strict, very conservative, protestant christian family who very much believed they owned my every move until the day I die. (Albeit, so would like to say I am in no way shape or form bashing religion, freedom of religion, nor your right to your beliefs.) I personally, do not believe in what they do, and that is that. However it's never that easy when you're in a toxic familial situation. 

Months pass, and while the family pretty much is alright with pretending I don't exist, it's not the best situation. My father and younger brother were, and still are, the only two who have never mistreated or judged me for my choice. So when my landlord tells me they accidentally already signed my apartments lease to a new tenant, instead of renewing with me-- and then give me a 3-day notice to leave, you can imagine my shock. Long story short-- I move my belongings to my father's house, my family gathers together and instructs my older brother to steal my belongings from my fathers house, take them to the dump, and get rid of them. This included all of my paper savings (12,000$), my personal documents, clothes, furniture-- you get it. I had nowhere to go, and nothing to do. So I crashed with friends, ended up in a homeless shelter, and FINALLY after 3 months, saved up enough to move to my own place again. Little did I know that it was only the beginning of my journey. 

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in October of 22. I had the removal surgery 3 months later in January. During this time, I was in immense pain, I lost my sweet kitten to heart worm, and I came to the harsh conclusion that in life... the only person who is truly there for you is yourself. I realized that after everything was over, I needed to truly get to know myself, love myself, accept me for all my silly personality traits and quirks, the things I've always grown up pushing away and hiding within my own mind. I've always been my own biggest enemy.. and when I was sitting in that sterile hospital room, alone, suffering and wallowing in my own self pity-- I realized what life is about for me. 

Doing whatever the hell makes me feel alive.

 And so, I'm back. The real me- happy, healthy, and thriving. While there still will be bumps-- no, big giant boulders blocking my path on my way through life, I can always find a way around them, whether that's via blowing it up or simply climbing my way over. I am finally me. 

So I guess-- I'm back, and I'm better then ever? I missed so much, and so many people, and I can't wait to make friends here for the first time again. I have started the newest chapter in my life!!! Yay! 

I hope you're all doing well. I hope I haven't missed too much, and I am excited to see what comes next. 


What're you all up to? 

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narcotic 1 year ago
welcome back! proud of you for being resilient. hope you're in good health now, and good times are ahead. < 3
052128d15b1b425d58da 1 year ago
Sorry you had a to deal with all that
However I am glad you are starting a new , happier chapter bb -i dunno you but bb seems fitting haha
Welcome back , and I hope to see you around mmmhmm
saorsa 1 year ago
Really nice to see you’re still around despite all the atrocious you’ve had to deal with. Happy to see you’re currently in a good place and my fingers are crossed the good times keep happening for you!
caratcake 1 year ago
It really is so good to see and hear from you! You owe no apologies for taking care of yourself in the best way you could! You are strong and resilient and nothing is impossible and you have clearly proven that no obstacles should not keep us down and are very inspiring for that. I'm nobody to say it but I'm proud of you! Cheering you on in the background love! You got this!
lapine 1 year ago
aa, what happened to you was terrible, i'm really sorry to hear it :(( but you came back stronger and i'm hoping the best for you now! welcome back, by the way!
megaverse 1 year ago
omg it's so good to see you ❤️ welcome back, hon. i'm sorry you went through all of that but i'm so proud of you, you pulled through!! you did good ❤️
bunberry 1 year ago
omg. you really went through so much in so little ;;
but i’m really happy that you’re doing much better now and you’re free from your toxic family. the coven is stronger than blood so i’m sure you’ll find your circle that you will feel loved and accepted at your own time. for now, keep on going on that journey to love yourself the most cause you’re important and your life matters. and I really hope only good things come your way now
26d7589e8d90e86191a0 1 year ago
C: Im sorry you went through all of that but welcome back darling ♡
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