Not a short post, I'm not back... at least I haven't made up my mind on coming back yet but anyways, hi. It's me Eve. Some of you may remember me, others won't but I've been on this site since 2016. I know it's not a marvelous amount of time since I already know plenty of you have been around on here since way before 2016, but I just wanted to drop back in momentarily and see this place again. It's honestly a bit strange being back here for quite a bit after I left. Actually I was going back down memory lane and lurking on some of the people in my friend lists that are still around and mostly looking back at all the roleplays I made in the past, as well as the roleplays I joined in the past that some of which are completely gone now. I was thinking about all the fun I had here and also all the dramatic moments when people would show their true colors and not have my best interests. All of that is wrapped into the tapestry of my time here on this site.
If you're wondering why I'm making this post, well... who knows if I'll come back eventually, but I also just wanted to praise the roleplayers here (who know that they deserve it) that they're doing a great job with still keeping this site alive after all this time. Hell, if I decide to come back and if the new roleplays I stumbled upon are still around, I might join them. Not now, but maybe someday soon when I'm ready to fully be here again.
As for the reasons why I left, it's a mixture of things... at the time there was too much drama. I thought I had good people around me when in reality I didn't (if you're reading this you know exactly who you are). I didn't need that mess in my life at the time. Also, my interests changed. I know this sounds blasphemous but, I woke up one day and just no longer was interested in kpop. I know, shocker right? Combine that with my mental health and life changes coming my way and then as soon as I knew it there was no more room for me to enjoy the kpop community. I'm honestly no longer a huge fan but from time to time, I look back on kpop from when I was a fan and I enjoy it and listen to some old songs. I look at it with a new appreciation nowadays, kind of like admiring an old art piece sitting on a shelf. However these days I rarely do that because I'm simply not as interested as I once was.
Finally, the last reason why I left. It's both simple and complex but, it's because I got bored. I went years not necessarily speaking my piece on this due to fear of retaliation but it. Being here from 2016 to whenever year I left, was interesting and fun though dramatic at times but other times holy ... it was boring as hell. I get it more than anyone about having singular tastes and being comfortable with those tastes. But damn, venture out of your comfort zones a bit when it comes to the roleplays. The constant comfortable nature of sticking with the roleplays you wanted to make/join was sooooo disheartening to me back then, it still is to be honest. I recently looked back through the old roleplays I made, and I will admit that yes they're a product of their time but also a lot of them when they came out at the time, unfortunately all the hardwork I'd put into them for them to be joined by people completely collapsed due to no one joining. And that disheartened me to the point where I compiled all the reasons I listed in my own head and decided to leave some years ago. I was bored, I was disheartened, people were being so toxic towards me, times were changing for me and I was no longer a kpop fan.
With all of that in mind, why would I want to come back? Well, because despite all those reasons, I found myself thinking of this place recently and decided to see it again and not too much has changed, the site itself is exactly the same as it was, there's still a lot of non au roleplays like there was (which if you like non au's go-off, I guess), and people are still role-playing here which is the best part about the entire thing, that it's still alive.
As for me, I'll lurk around until I decide to pop up one day again and join a roleplay that catches my interest. I suppose that will be the day I start fresh with a clear mind. In the meantime though, I'll be lurking and eventually start role-playing here again when or if I decide to.
I hope everyone is doing well, and I hope that everyone has a fantastic day/afternoon/night.
tl;dr- Just a slightly older roleplayer who started back in 2016 reminiscing on her time here on this site after briefly checking back in after all this time, the reasons why she left and looking towards the future.
Comments
You must be logged in to comment.