Have you considered if you might be down with depression? One of the telltale signs is losing joy and the things you normally take lots of joy in. Maybe time to speak with a professional or a friend or family member someone who is safe and see about having your mental health evaluated. It is so important to take care of yourself so that you can live life how you want too.
I have been feeling like that for a long time. there were times that i want to just take everything back that i did or said but i just can't because those things are already gone.
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