being second is hard
i have 2 mother. and 2 father. i have a sister. not uhjjang or s.
they treat me like . just because they are older than me.
plus they are the big wife's daughter. and they take that our father.
will care for them more than me.
sighs. my life is . i don't have a mother love nor a father love.
grew up with those siblings name s & uhjjang-.
well i am really lucky that they actually treat me as one.
rather than treating me as a cousin.
i thank them for taking care of me since young.
even though they are but that's not the main point.
i know they love me. like my auntie & uncle which i call my parents now.
they actually treat me like a human.
other than that. i am really happy. but not emotional happy.
i am still sad about my past. mainly why i take hiatus because.
i need to give my mental a rest. my emotions are getting worst
because i get too depressed + i don't know who to talk to.
the both of them are busy with their life. i cannot depend on them.
even though it's hard but dayum. just so you know that. i don't have a good life yo.
people might think that wow . i wrote this blog is to gain some attention or attention seeker.
but i think this a way to let out my stress that keeps in my heart.
so um. i am really grateful that in here RPR. i found some good friends.
like they are better than my own blood-relation's sister.
you won't want to know about me and my sister past.
just briefly say that. i am not a sister in her eyes.
she does hit me. but for no reason i just get hit.
when we're playing some games. whenever she lose to me.
she scold me . . . otl i have nothing say. because she's my sister.
and myfather expect us to get along. but we don't...
sorry i am getting too depressed that my characters are turning.
so i won't reply for awhile and take hiatus.
i have a little secret. i seen a psychiatrist because of self harm.
but please do not judge me. i have enough of judging from friends in school.
and some senior and my father.
sorry if you think this is a attention post but nah. like i sadi.
i want to let things out from my heart and mind. that is a way to release some stress.
sorry people. i am sorry for letting you seeing a weak me instead of strong self.
but i can't help it. my past is haunting me. i hope i do get better.
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