CHARACTER RANT Q A Q

OMFG SHE HURTS ME SO MUCH I'M GOING TO CRY.

there's tears in my eyes every time i think of it and my character's situation. ; n ; it breaks my heart. so i have this character on a roleplay. park yonghee. e u e she's been in the rp for a couple (3-4 months?) of months now, and she's only had 1 relationship. only 1. here's the highlights of her love-life. i don't know if it's just me being a huge hopeless-romantic or a sensitive girl but omf- poor. friggin'. yonghee. 

1) crush on bora

right before yonghee confessed her feelings to bora, tia got to her first and they began a relationship. not wanting to interfere, yonghee just backed off and tried to stay friends with bora.. which didn't end up well on yong's side. 

2) break-up with sekyung

after yonghee tried to get over bora, she used sekyung as a rebound and, feeling awful over it, she cheated on her (i temporarily left the rp because i was about to deactivate) and broke up with her. never really patched up their friendship and they still don't talk.

3) crush on li ling

again, another "bora" phase. her best friend, baekho, asked yonghee for relationship advice and she gave it to him. li ling and baekho are dating currently, and yonghee doesn't talk to either of them anymore due to lingering feelings.

4) crush on minki

just a small puppy-love, though she and minki never talk anymore.

5) crush on bora.. again

despite her attempts to stay friends, yonghee tried to be as nice as she could, which unfortunately didn't work out in her favor. she got ultimate friend-zoned.

6) tira engagement

100% done. yonghee, knowing she won't be able to be friends with bora without loving her, decided to just cut it off with the both of them (tia and bora). she felt as if staying there would damage their relationship, also fearing that tia was upset at her for loving bora. OKAY GUYS NOW PLS HELP I'M GOING TO CRY WTF IS WRONG WITH ME HEEELP

so, by this time, i've taken a break from yonghee to focus on other roleplays and i've eventually stopped talking to anyone on that roleplay. i only do admin things there.

7) crush on shinhye

rejected. nuff said. and it was pretty much enough to wake yong up and basically tell her that she wasn't needed anywhere anymore.

okay so. like, to other people, it just looks like yonghee has a ty way with people and relationships, but i honestly don't think that's the case. she's nice to anyone she meets and no one seems to reciprocate her feelings. people seriously take her kindness for granted and after she is lucky enough to score with someone, they stop talking or leave. 

/cue Lost In Love by SNSD (or other sad music) 

it hurts. ; n ; am i too nice or something like wtf??? i'm so confused. this happens irl too. I AM HONESTLY GOING TO BE A LONER FOREVER.

/dies.

edit: omf i can't leave this blog post alone fml. so if you were uninterested before and things weren't angsty enough you can skip all of that and read dis.

yonghee's the type of person that doesn't want to bother anybody. she promised to help anyone she knew and cared about, and everyone always seemed to take her for granted. nobody ever asked her if she was okay. nobody ever tried to ask about her or the things she liked. they all just took her advice, said thanks and moved on. bora eventually had a life with tia, and she couldn't even find time to talk to her best friend anymore. all of the sadness eventually accumulated and yonghee started self-harming. OF COURSE, NOBODY EVER KNEW ABOUT IT, BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TALKED TO HER. ERS. she hates being ignored. she hates not having anybody to talk to, and secretly, she's really angry at bora for not caring. the only thing yonghee wants is for someone to finally stop and ask her things, someone to help her through her problems and even if she loves bora, some of the things she says doesn't help at all. though it's the thought that counts. so she waits. yonghee decided to wait, to see how things would turn out, to see if bora would ever come back and tell her nice things. read: it's the only thing that's been keeping yonghee in the roleplay. even though it was just a sweet little dream she knew wouldn't come, she still wished for it. and eventually, a person snaps under that kind of mistreatment.