Jaebum wasn't from a damaged home, he had a loving family around him. He just turned out the way he did. Jaebum was only six when people at school started calling him fat. At first he brushed it off but then he began to wonder, why everyone was saying it, so often. He didn't really understand why he was being called fat, he was athletic and he was a dancer. His dance teacher had never mentioned his weight and he was able to keep up in all the sports classes. His mom brushed it off and told him it was just puppy fat, and that it would disappear as he got older.
When Jaebum was eight he decided that he couldn't wait to be older, and as a latch-key child he was often in the home alone. Which was when he discovered that he could make himself throw up easily. He'd eat a whole pack of chips, throw it all back up and then get ready for dance class before his parents came home to take him. He'd then eat like a normal child and act as if the whole thing hadn't happened. It started off as once every so often, then it became once a month, then once every two weeks, then once a week, then once a day, then multiple times a day.
By the age of 16, Jaebum was throwing up most meals. He was exercising more, and sometimes he was binging. He felt proud as he slimmed down, the kids could no longer call him fat, but then he'd see himself and he'd feel the horror bubble up in him, he was fat, and that was when he would throw up dry. His dance teacher ran extra classes and Jaebum attended everyone as well as regular gym sessions, but it did nothing to help him, he'd feel hungry after exercising and he'd go and buy 3 full meals at Mcdonalds and then eat a meal when he got home with his family, before going up to 'shower'. Turning the shower on so he could throw up everything he'd just binged on. He'd then sit in the shower and let the water hit him as he tried not to feel ashamed.
The panic attacks started coming at 17, when he thought he was getting over his bulimia a little bit. He was seeing someone through his school, his dance teacher having caught him purging in a school bathroom. Jaebum had stood on the scales and seen an increase, his world began spinning and he made it to the toilet before throwing up, it burned more than usual, as he continued to panic before passing out. He began to have panic attacks whenever public eating was forced, eating with the dance troop was hell. He felt itchy, all he wanted to do was purge, he could feel the calories entering his body and he hated it.
The nightmares started not shortly after. He'd wake up screaming, scared out of his mind. He went back to his safe place, sitting in the shower, head on his knees, hunched over. Jaebum knew he was losing control of himself.
At 19, the school finally decided they had to contact Jaebum's parents, he was purging more at school than he had before. He was getting worse and worse and something had to be done, which was when his parents decided to get him admitted. Jaebum put up a fight not to go, embarrassed that he was a guy suffering a 'girls' disease, he didn't even know if he wanted to get better.
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