I'm sorry if this is much bothering you you don't have to read it if you don't want to but I have to let it out.......
Im already sick of this, not rp but rl stuff.... I had a poem that muy supposedly friend copied from me so inorder to avoid problems with the school I changed my work and got a D as a grade -.-" I tell my mom about it and my dad earvesdropping and now at the time of meal he nags me on how I need to keep these to myself and not commenting to my parent blablabla..... so basically what he is telling me is to bury feelings down and drown them. I wanted to cry and I even said "I lost my appetite" because I got mad that first they tell me I can trust them with anything and then he tells me this ??!?!??!?!?? I cannot understand him anymore and now he nagged me about me loosing appetite because of this and he is mad and my mom tries to understand me but I just hate it so much I might mark my skin again...... I am cryin in anger now welll actually is a mix between anger and something else but I dont really know what. I know my rant is pointless and meaningless but seriously I am starting to think I might have a mental problem and like that I don't want to say to my parents I need psychologists even though I dont trust them I guess I need proffesional help but I cannot say it because my dad will get pissed of me being such expensive person to keep sane and healthy because my medications for the epilepsy already costs a lot besides my semester is way expensive compare to my sister's and ugh......probably this might be the last rant in my life because I cannot take it anymore I just aish......... I just needed to get it out now but probably many wont care, many will see it as a spoiled kid acting even though Im 19 years old...... He told me grades are more important and he doesnt care how I get them he wants only As.... when he himself lived on D & F -.-" now he made me know I'm alone in this world so I already knew that since the first betrayal........I cannot take this any longer, I wish I could move out of the country and start a new life but I just cant because I dont have a degree and without one I cannot get a job and without that no money so no moving out nor getting the away from here..... I really now hate classical mexican family men who dont care3 about feelings and IM SO ING TIRED OF BEING SO ING EMOTIONAL II WISH I COULD JUST SLASH MY THROAT RIGHT NOW AND LET MYSELF DIE SO I DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYMORE......
YES, THEY ALREADY WON, MY INNER DEMONS WON AND I WILL SOMEHOW ATTEMPT AGAIN NOT CARING ABOUT IT ANYMORE I JUST DONT WANT TO SEE MY DAD ANYMORE AND IM SORRY TO THOSE WHO WILL GET HURT IF I SUCCEED THIS TIME........I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.....
*trashes out the whole bedroom and tries to look for ways to succeed this time"
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