Probably one of many rants but I have to get it out....

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AuthorMelody94
Created
Status [M]

I'm sorry if this is much bothering you you don't have to read it if you don't want to but I have to let it out.......

 

Im already sick of this, not rp but rl stuff.... I had a poem that muy supposedly friend copied from me so inorder to avoid problems with the school I changed my work and got a D as a grade -.-" I tell my mom about it and my dad earvesdropping and now at the time of meal he nags me on how I need to keep these to myself and not commenting to my parent blablabla..... so basically what he is telling me is to bury feelings down and drown them. I wanted to cry and I even said "I lost my appetite" because I got mad that first they tell me I can trust them with anything and then he tells me this ??!?!??!?!?? I cannot understand him anymore and now he nagged me about me loosing appetite because of this and he is mad and my mom tries to understand me but I just hate it so much I might mark my skin again...... I am cryin in anger now welll actually is a mix between anger and something else but I dont really know what. I know my rant is pointless and meaningless but seriously I am starting to think I might have a mental problem and like that I don't want to say to my parents I need psychologists even though I dont trust them I guess I need proffesional help but I cannot say it because my dad will get pissed of me being such expensive person to keep sane and healthy because my medications for the epilepsy already costs a lot besides my semester is way expensive compare to my sister's and ugh......probably this might be the last rant in my life because I cannot take it anymore I just aish......... I just needed to get it out now but probably many wont care, many will see it as a spoiled kid acting even though Im 19 years old...... He told me grades are more important and he doesnt care how I get them he wants only As.... when he himself lived on D & F -.-"  now he made me know I'm alone in this world so I already knew that since the first betrayal........I cannot take this any longer, I wish I could move out of the country and start a new life but I just cant because I dont have a degree and without one I cannot get a job and without that no money so no moving out nor getting the away from here..... I really now hate classical mexican family men who dont care3 about feelings and IM SO ING TIRED OF BEING SO ING EMOTIONAL II WISH I COULD JUST SLASH MY THROAT RIGHT NOW AND LET MYSELF DIE SO I DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYMORE......

 

YES, THEY ALREADY WON, MY INNER DEMONS WON AND I WILL SOMEHOW ATTEMPT AGAIN NOT CARING ABOUT IT ANYMORE I JUST DONT WANT TO SEE MY DAD ANYMORE AND IM SORRY TO THOSE WHO WILL GET HURT IF I SUCCEED THIS TIME........I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.....

*trashes out the whole bedroom and tries to look for ways to succeed this time"

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Gbbi15 10 years ago
Unnie, I please don't.
I know it's hard. Bit you even said that your mom tries to understand you.
Your dad doesn't understand, but who cares?
If he doesn't want to, you can change that, it's just how he is.
Please don't do anything.
I won't have an unnie anymore.
SHInfinite_93 10 years ago
I wish to said I understand you and I kind of understand but still I don't imagine what are you going though. My parents were always so comprenshive with me, they help me when I need help to talk or just to cry they are there. They never expect more than I can give of myself included they never ask me for have certain grades and I'm not a brilliant student I am just a average student with average grades, not too bad but not to good either. So I kind not understand what you are passing with your parent. But I have other suffering through my live, my childhood had not being good included my teenager days ~ always going to school and being bullied over and over again and much times I had think the only solution was to just disappear that world at least the suffering will stop. But now I'm thankfull for not doing that because I have find my place in the world I had find people that are my friend even in my real life or even online. And maybe writting had help me. Maybe you have to find something you enjoy to do, something that will help you relive the stress and the suffering. At lwast writting had help me a lot ~

Or you can really on yout friend, you can reley on me although I lieve so far away from you but still you can talk to me you can tell me your problems and I will help you the best.I can. But please don't do anything that will hurt you pleas..my sweetheart ~
Little_Rebel_Leader 10 years ago
Yah... Don't do something stupid... -hugs you tightly-
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