Hey everyone!!!!!!!! This is imma_dumb_fck. formerly yuki_chicken, I am here to tell you about the hardcore truth about the past 5 days in my life. By the end of all of this you may think that I'm a ing idiot and tthat this person doesn't need someone like me but I just really want to make it all right and make it up to her. So will you guys help me please???????
So it goes a little like this...............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(You guys might already know who it's about)
So, within the last week....I broke up with my girlfriend and it was the hugest mistake in my 19 years of living. It started out as a simple conversation where she whined about our other friends not hanging out with her and instead coming to my house (one of them). Then I got massively irritated because I thought that she was in some sort of trouble because she indicated that she was sad. At the time of all of this, I had just gotten up after being able to finally fall asleep 2 hours before (Having 2 hours of sleep is bad people). Then I got annoted because I woke up thinking that she was in trouble (I'm a worry wort) only finding out that she was sad about not hanging out with her friends. So, things ended up escalating quickly and I ended up telling her that we're done. I spent the whole day wondering if the choice to break up with her was good or not...by the end of the day it wasn't. The day we broke up was Friday the 13th....so it made it twice as worse.
It has now been 5 days and I have come to this conclusion. I really want her back. I know that I was a stupid ing idiot for breaking up with her but it hurts so much. In the beginning, I never thought that it would end like this. She was my first love and I would do anything to get her back. I would even go to the cheesecake factory downtown and spend $40 on a Strawberry Cheesecake (Daehyun???? Are you sure you're not his long lost sibling or something?).
I was an idiot to have broken up with her. It was one of my biggest mistakes that I have ever made (after drinking 2 sips of beer on Father's Day and ending up half drunk). I am not kidding when I say that I will do anything to make it up to her. We were supposed to be celebrating our 1 month anniversary today (6/18) but of course, I had to go and be a stupid dumb .
A lot of our friends say that it's her fault...At first in our earlier fights, it was her fault....this time this is all me. I take full responsibility and take the blame for this one. I blame myself for not sleeping earlier. I blame myself for not thinking clearly. I blame myself for not being able to be there for her when she was sad. I take the blame for being a dumb . Our friends think that I should forget her because she's not good enough for me...but I think that she's the perfect person for me.
I say that because my life has never been the same without her. I feel so depressed. I feel suicidal. I just want to vent my feelings but can't. I'm going delusional. I've been way more clumsier than usual. I never want to leave my room unless necessary. I have been avoiding my whole family. I also have no appetite and when I bite food it makes me sick to my stomach. I accidentally call people by her name (lost count after 57). I pratically hear her, even though she's not here. I unconsciously stay in the spot where she was the last time she was in my room. I hear people say her name in a sentence even though it's not what they said. Long story short.....my life has been a huge ball of destruction.
I literally spent my senior year of high school wondering what this feeling was that I felt in my heart. It was the fact that I fell in love with a friend. I was constantly jealous because of her stories in the drama club. I was annoyed when she went to drama club. I easily got jealous over her. I denied it a lot when my friends said that I liked her more than a friend...but on April 18 2014. I realized that I loved her. I denied the fact because I was scared of what people might think and especially what she might think. Then on Sunday May 18 2014, when we were at the beach (just the two of us), I confessed my feelings towards her. We ended up in a conflict but at the end of the day, we were dating and it made me the happiest person in the world!!!!!!!! (When did I get so cheesy?)
Long story turned short......I still love her and will do anything to get her back. The only problem....I don't know how...she's been so difficult the past few days....
Does anyone have any suggestion???? If you do it would be greatly appreciated......
You know re-reading all of this.....makes me wanna vomit at the cheesiness....but it's for a good purpose....
I really do want her back very badly.....I miss her so much.......
Please help this dumb of an human get her girlfriend back.....please
*puppy eyes*
And thank you for letting me rant
*bows deeply*
Comments
You must be logged in to comment.