{ Well, I guess I should use this blog thing more since it's here and all. I'll just write like journal entries and basically use it as an online diary I guess. }
Day: September 2nd, 2014
Song of the Day: Locked Girl ~ The Girl's Secret Room ~ Patchouli Knowledge's Theme from Touhou: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil (MC Remix)
Mood: Could be better. Not in a bad mood but not in a happy one either.
Quote of the Day: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become."
School was pretty good, I guess. I failed an Algebra test because I went into overthinking mode again. But when I did the retake, I got everything right. I'll try my best to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I got closer to 2 acquaintances so I guess I consider them to be friends now. Annie and Jay are their new nicknames.
My singing, rapping, and even my dancing has gotten worse because I'm so unhappy with my body and voice. My voice is too high and my body is too feminine. It's actually depressing me now. My insecurities are preventing me from enjoying things and even stressing me out, but I can't do anything about it. I'm jealous of the other trans men that have gotten their HRTs and surgeries done already.
My birthday is in 2 months. I'll be 15. I want it to be better than my other birthdays. With lots of presents, Asian food, friends and family, and red velvet cake with ice cream.
I think I might have actual, serious crush on Ravi. Everytime I see him or talk about him, I just...I don't know...I really just love everything about him. I even joke around and say he's my boyfriend now. I'd be the luckiest guy in the world if that were to happen. Does he have an official fanclub? I always play around and say I'm a Ravioli because he's my ultimate bias and bias in VIXX.
I actually fell asleep in the middle of making this and forgot everything I was originally going ot put in so I guess I'll save it for some sort of sub-entry or something.
-Nikolai
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