Journal one- 9/18/14
so, um, Hey. This blog post is just to.. like, keepme from even thinking of self harm. Recently, I've been going through a lot of problems. I feel uncertain a lot, amd often i find my visual appearance displeasing to myself. I've been finding myself really distant from my mom, and getting scared of her. It's mostly because of her boyfriend. When i see them, i always feel left out. My little sister and them are like this perfect family. The family you see in pictures: the mom, the dad, and the baby. I feel really left out and i feel like I'm thatorphan in the story. Like the ugly duckling. It feeling this way, but i can't help it. I went to the counselor today, after we had a visitor come in and tell us about self harming. I told the speaker about myself, and telling someone you don't know, actually feels better than telling someone that you do. As i talked to the counselor, it felt really good to be able to cry, and just..... not be judged. I hope that tomorrow will be better.
Journal two- 9/19/14
here's my second blog post. I'll just be adding on to this. Today was over whelming. I hate the fact that I'm so weak. I should probably elaborate. I've never met my dad. He's never come to see me or my mom, and it's really hard. I asked my mom once, who my dad was, she cried. I was so scared. I never want to see her cry again, but I keep on making her. Why can't I be a good kid? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? I made her angry recently too, because I am failing a class. I'm so stupid. I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like dying. I just... I don't want to make her sad anymore. I feel like just disapearing.
My posts will now be on here- http://violaistmia.weebly.com
Comments
You must be logged in to comment.