Poetic thoughts.

The Broken Ones - By Illuminates

The broken wings that fall into pieces beside my weak body as the sky turns dark. What does it mean to be someone like this, to feel so hopeless, scared, to be shrinking under your own gaze. Every step feels heavier than the last, the self-detest one feels as they look themselves in the eyes and say words of regret and sadness. A journal from long ago, nothing has seemed to change since then, but everything has changed. I've changed but yet I still haven't fixed the broken parts. I'm still the helpless child reaching out with hands of mercy in hopes that tomorrow will be a different day, a happy day a day I can look back on with a smile. I am decieved by my own smile, so realistic, so optomisic. My attitude reflecting that smile but inside is the grimace, the cringe and the pain. To hide oneself under  a blanket far away from the people you care about because you know, in the end, that they won't always be there for you, people change. I'm changing too. The fear inside of me is taking over and leaving me with little confidence, to listen, to share is what I'm best at. My heart wide open as I let others in but as soon as I do, things begin to change and people start to change and every time it hurts me inside because nothing remains the same. We all change and time goes by and I'm left waiting until the moment where I get to look back and say "We were the best of friends, we were always there for one another when things were tough." But when things get tough I'm curled in a ball crying to myself as the anxiety and panic arise and I'm too afraid of being a burden even though I take all their problems and try to help as much as I can. When I need help I find myself alone with no one there, where is that someone?