+help, writing tips and needs honest answers

tbh i feel like my writing skills , like really badly and i need help.

because a lot of people lose interest in rping with someone when their writing , don't they?

so i need help and advice, let me post a few examples of my writing.

first detailed pov : [pm rp with --lipslikesuga]

/stirs in my sleep slightly and groans in pain , forcefully opening my eyes at the light, making my vision blurry , as i stare up at you , and look around remembering what happened. /a small gasp escapes my lips and quickly sit up in shock, sending waves of pain through my body and head . D-do what?/manages too croak out , and tilts my head up, only too jump back against you, in fear and shock. Y-you..ive seen you somewhere../my lips speak, but it doesnt help the fact that my whole body is shaking, as the words stumble from my mouth. Let him go. This is mine and your fight. /parts my lips to speak again, only too be caught off quickly, by the unknown creepy guy. We were just talkimg about how the guy you saved agreed to take the precious ity of yours. /glances at you for a moment and puts on my professional face and looks the man straight in the eyes.  Whose said im a . What proof do you have that we already didn't make love? /turns too you and gives you sweet smile, as my eyes warn you to play along. Right honey? /flicks my eyes across the room at all the others watching from a far and lets a small sigh escape from my closed lips.

detailed third pov: {example from an rp im in ; plot credits go too yukki unni}

Sighing the female peered up at her husband. "did i find anything interesting? I found out your diagnosis, im a psychiatrist and your wife”. Sighing she stood up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey,throwing it outside into the hall, listening to the shatter of the bottle and watching the liquid run down their clean white walls. "get up " she commanded,as she grabbed her husbands hand and dragged him into the bathroom, as she closed the door behind her. “take a shower and come back into your right senses, I  need to talk to you” she screeched, hoping her screaming would get into some point in his head. The female sat at the edge of the Jacuzzi and pushed the curtain for the shower with her foot, seeing the male wasn’t going to budge. “Are you going to make me do this the hard way?” she scoffed, turning on the water and making sure it was warm, before she pushed the male in forcefully, but also gently , making sure he wouldn’t get hurt. Soojin watched the water pour down on him, and he screamed , before storming out back into his bedroom, fully aware of what was going on. “Are you out of your drunken state?  Have you come back to your senses? “ The female questioned, walking to his closet and grabbing him fresh clothes. “Change and I will come back” She told him quietly, as she exited the room and climbed down the steps ,towards the kitchen, grabbing the male something to eat from the cook.  Soojin understood from his entries in the diary/journal that he always blamed himself. Though the male acted as if he needed no one, or anything, deep down inside everyone needed a small shoulder to lean on and have someone be there for them, and Soojin knew this from experience.

  Her husbands state was a type of trauma from the past that haunted him daily.  She knew it would be hard from him too trust her and open up to her, but the female was determined to try and this time she wasn’t giving up easily. Grabbing the tray of fruits,crackers,and simple foods, as well as a warm cup of tea, she carefully climbed the steps and walked back into the room,as a maid shuffled in,collecting the wet clothes and towel from the floor. Placing the tray down on the bed next to her husband she stared at him.  He looked old, tired and worn out. It surprised her because Rokhyun was only a few years older than her. “Eat” she nodded, crossing her legs as she sat stubbornly on his bad staring at him.

“im not going anywhere until you do so and im going to follow you around the house if you don’t eat” She nodded. Though this may have been the normal routine for her everynight, tonight, she was determined to change things. Soojin set it in her mind that she wouldn’t let him go away easily from her this time. Everyday she told herself she would change things. Things would finally be different.  She prayed in her mind , day and night, that for one day, things would be different, and tonight she was determined to that. No matter what he said or did, Soojin would follow him to the end of it, whether he stayed home or slept in a hotel , it didn’t matter to her, she would follow him.

Soojin remembered the night she married this man and didn’t exactly know what she saw in him. Every thing replayed in her mind, from the beginning.  When Rokhyuns father came searching for her and asked her to meet with him.  The first meeting replayed in her head and all the events flew through her memories as if  they were in a drive thru and she was going through each of in a car, that was placed in her mind. Looking up at her husbands face,  she watched him carefully,waiting for a reaction. Was he going to yell at her? Listen to her? Hit her? Storm out, she had no idea, because today was the first time, she pursed for an actual change in things.

this is basically my writing styles, and i need honest help, because i know i , and english is not really my first language , so any tips or advice would help, besides grammar and spelling because i at those i know.