I feel so...lost...

I really want to roleplay with everyone and I know that I have some replies that I need to do... It seems weird for me to say this, but it's true...

When I actually had my muse to roleplay, no one was answering me. Now, I have all these replies that I need to do and there's so little muse...Well, maybe that's not entirely true... I have a muse. I have ideas and everything but...I don't know what it is, to be honest. Maybe it's the motivation that I don't have? I just feel off and it's not like a slump like it usually is. I just feel...lost. That's really the only way that I can think to describe it.

I've made friends here or at least acquaintances. You know, people that put up with my nonsense and how awful I am at replying most some of the time. I roleplay constantly on twitter...Eh...I feel like I shouldn't really say that because I talk to the same, what, three people all the time? I make friends here and there, but I don't know. And school's mixing in with everything. I'm graduating in less than a month from college and I think I'm honestly dreading having that conversation with everyone. You know...the one where everyone asks you what you plan to do with life or that one where people tell you that you have to do something with your life and you can't just laze around...

Then, I had this one..friend(?) from twitter send me an anonymous ask on my ask.fm account for one of my rps. Apparently, it'd been a long time since I talked to them and they were really hurt that I hadn't realized that I hadn't talked to them in like a month? It messed me up, okay? I hate getting messages like that, let alone anonymous ones so that I can't even figure out what happened. That has made everything twice as bad because I get so attached to people, even when I don't want to and-- I'm an idiot, okay?

I have no idea what this blog was supposed to be about because I seriously lost my train of thought at the beginning. If I roleplay with you in a roleplay, forgive me. I'm an awful person and I know I have so many wall replies that I need to do. Not to mention my actual PMs... You guys have waited the longest and I don't even know what to tell you. I know that sorry isn't enough and I don't want to tell you guys that I don't want to rp with you anymore because that's not true. I'm just...This blog makes me realize how awful a person I am, and how much I hate myself. Lol

I'm going to try to get myself together and I think that I really will just delete some of my characters on here... I'll hate myself later, especially during the summer when I'm trying to figure out what to do with going back to school and such because I'll be alone if I'm not roleplaying, to be quite brutally honest... That's why I haven't deleted anything yet. I'd miss everyone and then I'll be alone and I'll get bored and I'll feel dumb...  Maybe I just shouldn't delete. I don't know.

Anyway, if I'm not here, but you want to talk to me, you can message me on LINE, KakaoTalk, or Kik with what my username is here.

If you want to talk to me on Twitter, let me know. I have two personal accounts, so you'll have to PM me if you want one of those or both, it's whatever. If you want to roleplay with me there, you don't have to be an actual roleplay account. I'll still talk to you if you want something like fantalk or to pretend you're talking to a member of a group you like. Just PM me for those accounts as well, or the one of your choosing.

On Twitter, I roleplay:

Amber - Peniel - Ricky - Suga -  Zinni - Yugyeom - Baekhyun

I need help... I have a rp problem... 

Anyway, just let me know what you want. I'll get around to replies when I can. Forgive me for being an . PLEASE