To be honest, I've always felt a little depressed on the inside. Even to the point where I've thought many things that made my parents think I was stupid. But now, up to this very point...I feel like I've lost all hope in everything. The fact that I just have that one class that I'm failing and that can literally jeopardize whether I graduate or not- and the fact that me and my parents are not in good terms especially that one person who I refuse to call as my mother. I know that may sound harsh, but if you knew how that person was and what they've done to me, you'd dislike them as much as I do. All the days that I've hidden my true feelings behind a fake smile, friends who have always given me words of courage, I feel appreciative to have them.
But once I open the door to my so-called home, I can't even get a single break without my failures being rubbed in my face. I know I'm not the perfect child you want me to be- but at least I'm trying my hardest. I really am. I hate the fact that they say I'm doing nothing and that I'm lazy when really- I've been doing a lot of things and even have tried extra curricular activities. And that one person, that one person who always has to lower my self esteem always waits for me to slip up once even if it was small..
"Well when I was younger, I had straight A's all through out elementary to middle. School was easy for me and they gave me a trophy for proof. The only bad grade I had was a B and that was because I didn't understand English that well /tears up/ I should've gotten an A" ...e n e well gee. Way to rub your achievements in my face. That makes me less motivated to even do anything if you keep telling me how 'oh-so-perfect' you are.
and the fact that you say you're sick of me and that you bring up my birth mom? Do you know how sensitive I am when it comes to that? I feel like you want to see me break down. You already know how much I dislike talking about her. Yet you keep telling me "She never cared about you even if you were sick or even died"
LIKE SERIOUSLY BRUH WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! I can't...I seriously can't...life is just killing me slowly.
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