A new year...

So 2016... A new year means new people or just dumber people. I hope people grow up and stop being ing s during class when my classes start. I started looking back on myself and realized that I don't need to be changed. Mentally or physically. I can just be myself even if I have another mind in my head. Whatever it is, I am not going to give up. I started writing down what I ate and what I drink, keeping track of my eating habits even tho I don't even eat when I'm suppose to... Anyways- changing my body just because I'm not happy with having two things hanging off of my chest- it doesn't matter to me anymore. I've learned to accept that my family cannot support my needs because we are poor. Sure I've wished multiple times that I came from a better family but I've accepted that this is how life is given to us, this is how it's going to go. We can't give back our problems and say "sorry grabbed something I didn't need" and walk off like it's not even our problem. No, that's not how life works. Sigh. Sometimes I don't know why I even ask myself why I think of stupid things. This year is going to be better, idc if I don't graduate stupid school. I'm going to become an idol in South Korea. I will fulfill my dream, and no one is going to tell me otherwise because my life isn't theirs. Just because their life isn't going good doesn't mean you can use mine to hide yours. Just off and don't bother me this year, I won't take anyone's . I don't care if I'm being a , this is my life. Looking up to idols who have trained and did something to bring out an epic comeback makes me think: yeah, I can do that. Even though I have pretty much no friends to support me (even though I know they are but aren't saying it.) I can prove to people that I can do something for myself. And it makes me more motivated for my audition, being poor but I'm still alive. I'm still living kind of well. Being poor didn't stop me from building my own future. My friend helped me find a better future for myself. I never thought that finding interest in a different culture than my own was fascinating. Sure at first I thought NU'EST were girls.... Sorry Ren ;; but looking past it and admiring how beautiful they are and what they did to become that beautiful (aside from plastic surgery. that - I ain't getting no plastic on me.) K-Pop Idols have gone through so many things that it makes me... Uh.... What's the right word to use at a time like this.... Uhm... Anyways- oh- it makes me think just how much stronger they've gotten to keep going. And I know their have been deaths in the k-pop world... Many regards to those precious lives that have been here doing their best. Losing weight has been my main goal for years... And I've done nothing to help it... I'm going to do something this year and show off just how good looking I am to my sister who's been calling me fat(even though I'm not even that fat...) and making me feel like . I love her even though she can be a in sometimes, she's still my sibling and I love her for what she does for me. Hyuna is a big influence, she's always flaunting what she worked for ^^ and she's so much stronger now. I've been bullied in school but I've learned to ignore the s in school and leave them to be immature heads. I like hyuna, she's so pretty ;; Being skinny and isn't an obsession, it shouldn't be an obsession. It's not something to obsess over, control it and only work for it for yourself and not to hurt your body. Do it healthily and not thoughtlessly. I feel like my advice is worded awkwardly... My English is bad and English is my native tongue- orz. But back to myself, I've also realized that when I dance my body automatically gets super tired... It makes me upset because when I could dance everyday when I could without having to walk across a long field, I was getting a sort of exercise. And I've recently found out that dancing is a type of exercise, a what's it called... Damnit- idk if it's acrobatic or if it's something else... It burns stuff- I'm not smart with nutrition stuffs-- o.o But actually working out is adding to the fire that's started in my heart, I won't look back on the depressing years and just keep looking forward. Nothing's going to stop me. An hour passed- I've been typing for so long with breaks to think of what next to type- orz. It's 1.03am now... What is sleep. I don't sleep regularly and I should. Ugh. I hate moving, but I'm actually glad to be leaving this house because now I can leave unwanted things behind and start something new. But than again I don't want to be too far away from my school for the next four or so months left I have for the stupid building. Ok. My mind is starting to run blank because I'm getting tired and my hands are cramping from holding my phone to type- lol. This was me ranting my life. Good bye ugly 2015 and hello to a new life and 2016. Whispers. I still like being called ace though ^^ and I have developed a better girl name for myself a few years back too- lol. I don't like my given name... Hi my names Rose/Ace, nice to meet you. Alright good night to everyone, I've written too much already- bye.