+uality

I know it changes. But I've never been so confused. No one really knows what happened except for a handful of people. Only my sister knows every single piece of the story. All the things I'm too scared to tell people. My life is turning in on itself and I'm not sure how to feel. I'm on edge. Jumpy. Can't sleep. Can't eat. Can't remember what it felt like to feel light and not weighted down by plaguing thoughts. I thought I was something. Now my entire identity has been thrown for a loop. Am I straight? If there's one thing I know it's I'm sad but I don't want to keep burdening my friends so I keep it in and poke my head out like a ground hog to figure out if it's time but I always get scared of my own shadow and I run back in...

I'm lonely.