RANT!!

You never listen to me. You never care how I feel. You only cared about how you feel. When I ask for some comfort,you say that I am annoying. When I would cry,you call me a cry baby and aske me to grow up. You scream and shout at me. When you complain to me,I just listened. When I complained,you asked me to it up and deal with it 'cause it's my own damn prablem. You would scream and shout at me and after that you would feel bad and buy me stuff and say sorry. Have you realised how much pain I'm in? HOw you stop and think about how much your words hurts me? Have you? You always think that after you apologize,everything will be fine. It doesn't make the pain or the scar of your words disapear. You told me to lose some weight in front of the whole family. Do you realised how much you hurt me with those words? You told me that you don't know what went wrong with my two brothers? You made me feel like I cannot fail. That I can't make the same 'mistakes' as my brothers. That I must be better than them. You may think I'm selfish. I gave all my money to you when you needed money. I never bought anything nice for myself. I'd always restrained myself from buying anything I want. Even if I wanted something,I never tell you. Why? Because since I was young,I would ask you to buy me something and you would say it's not nice and would buy me something else. Something you think that I would like not what I like. I want to be selfish for once in my life and not care about what the family needs. I want to just buy what I want and lie and cheat your money like my brothers did. I want to just not care what you think about me and do whatever the hell I want. I can't even like something without you teasing and making fun of it. You always make fun of it in front of so many people. You never care about my feelings . You lectured me about things and then you go around and do what you asked me not to do. Where is the logic in that?! I'm so tired of this. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't want to deal with anything. I wished the floor would just swallow me up so I don't have to deal with all this bull. You do realised that I'm only 16 right? You never remember anything I told you. You don't even remember my birthday. I'd always have to tell you that it is my effing birthday. Why do I have to remind people that it's my ing birthday?! You never pay attention when i tell you things and when I asked you about it,then you said I never told you and blame me for being so iresponsible. I'm sick and tired of this. I'm done. I'm not dealing with your bull anymore.  

PS:I apologize to everyone that is reading this right now. I just wanted to get this off of my chest. I've kept this to myself for way too long.