Or lack thereof.
Look, I'll just say this for the umpteenth time, I feel like I need to be vulnerable now so just--- no gifs or cute fonts or polls. For the love of everything, just do you. Do you. Be you. You're you. It's a concept I've carried on the wings of my shoulder blades for as long as I can recall. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I'm a creature of impulse and erratic emotion, so I've no room to judge.
BUT...
One of the biggest, most important things that no one seems to understand is this: communication... Or basically "say something, I'm giving up on you". I swear I'm not a malevolent person. I like to be reasonable, to know when I've screwed up. In fact, the biggest detriment to my success is myself, only because I'm a total jerk to none other than ME. Mistakes that I make weigh heavily on me and I make it a point to beat myself up about the smallest things for weeks... I'm a micromanager on one end--- equal parts sadist/masochist on the other. Why am I telling you this? Because I realize that the biggest thing with this site is lack of proper communication.
People run from their problems so quickly instead of confronting or trying to salvage them... And if they DO face them, it's in the most potent form of "pity partying" I've ever witnessed. All for the sake of what? Compliments? Saccharine-coated assurance? Emo-revival? I don't understand. Why the hell is it such a fad to binge-block? To spread rumors and play petty games? The "indirect" effect is far more obvious than you think... What happened to being big kids who can say outright in a civil PM "Hey... I know you may not have meant it, but you kind of pissed me off that one time..." or "You don't really have the best reputation in my book, but I know I'm only going about this on one side. So lemme hear yours?" What happened to talking things out? I can't tell you how many friendships I've witnessed falling apart over the most trivial things... Most of which, I've been in.
So like...
What happened? Why are we all such cowards? I can tell you that I'm a lot like ramen... Seasoned with flavors of condescending snark and lackadaisical amusement, but that's not ME as a person. If you tell me outright that you have a problem with me, that I've wronged or hurt you, that you just NEED something I'm a mature enough user to work it out. Would I get defensive? It's something I'm catching myself on, especially if I disagree. But I work it out all the time... I come back, I apologize. I settle things and iron them out because leaving things to float is awkward. And you know what? I forgive, forget, move on... Because like one of my last blogs said, I don't like letting things on RPR or online in general get to me too hard. We've all got more to do with our lives than fret over these masks we keep wearing here.
So just... talk to me. Let me know that I've upset you. Let me know that I went too far or did too little. "Vivaldi, you never finish our rps." I can admit to that. "Hey, you keep ignoring me in rooms sometimes..." That's probably something I can explain. "I wish you handled that one situation differently." Me too, probably. Let's talk about it.
I'm done with this, really. I promise you, this sorta thing actually goes so much farther. I plan on remaining on this site for quite a while longer, so don't think a bunch of things I keep hearing from others will deter me. I want to fix. But I can't fix what you don't want to be fixed. The irony in rumors is that they spread. The fault in the "blocking" system is that I have 2332847324 accounts on this site (not really, but tons), many of them are used... And you've only steered away one. Don't high-tail it like the White Rabbit... The only thing "late" was this blog post.
We need to re-learn how to fix things.
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