Do you ever feel like you can't be fully happy? Like, you are surrounded with people around you and you laugh, having fun but still you don't feel like you are actually 'happy'?
And when you come home and there this silence, you start feeling lonely. Sometimes you feel so lost like asking yourself when the last time you laugh so hard like it is actually making you sincerely happy?
Sometimes you just want to cry out of nowhere and getting emotional because you feel so lost. It is just weird, this feeling.
I went to Disneyland the other day and people there have the smiles on their faces, people who work there are amazing people because their job is to make people happy. It was so magical and I wonder if I can be like them someday, seeing the parade with all Disney characters I used to love during a kid made me honestly want to cry because it made me happy.
I even question myself, it must be so fun to have a job there but sadly people these days keep thinking having a job with a great income what define success and it makes me sadder, my parents keep saying 'You will feel happy if you have a nice job, having so many money like your sister.' Well, guess what having expensive stuffs, going on a trip, having a nice food, it still doesn't make me happy.
I wonder when I will finally find my place where I will be sincerely happy? I still questioning that until this day.
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