My Greatest Fear....Apparently..

Here's a funny story guys - you know that laughing gas that's supposed to help you relax at the dentist? Yeah doesn't work if you're scared as hell. You'd think after a while it'll work against your will but no. It doesn't. 

I had a dentist appointment about this crater of a tooth I have. It got infected and has been giving me hell for like a week now. Jerk move because Halloween is right around the corner. The doc said he could pull it today but it would require a stitch or two after. That right there freaked me out. Immediately I started shaking and tearing up. I wanted to be put to sleep but he couldn't do that since he's not a surgeon and that would require a liscenced anesthesiologist. So I settled for the gas. I figured I'd be like one of those kids in all those hilarious videos. When the gas first started, after like a minute I was like cool, I can feel it working so let's get comfy. Low key, the way the gas made me feel was kind of scary. I could feel ALL my nerves just buzzing and then relaxing. After like 2 minutes on the gas, the doctor betrayed me and stabbed me. Thank god I didn't see the needle itself but even so, getting jabbed in my face was enough to bring all my nerves back. I felt so bad because I accidentally dug my nails into the nurse. After the shot, I started feeling numb so I was like 'cool in some time I'll be free of this tooth.' But then I realized I still have this gas thing on and even though I'm a little numb I can still feel EVERYTHING. Dude was poking and pulling at my tooth, I heard like 4 cracks and bursted into tears and couldn't calm down. My mom had to try and hold my legs still but I wasn't having it. At this point like half an hour has now gone by and the gas hasn't worked. It tried, it really did but the doc said I was too anxious so I need to be put to sleep. Bless that man for not wanting to hurt me or force me. Sad thing is, he said he hadn't even started doing anything to actually remove the tooth and I had that gas mask on the entire time. So now i have an appointment for surgery in November and I'm freaking out about that. I at handling pain. My ears had been peirced several times because I couldn't keep the earrings in and the hole kept closing. Cried every time I ever got a shot or my finger pricked. I'm not even allowed to donate anymore either. The one time I was able to was my last. I was one of the rare cases to have a reaction after donating plasma. My body, heart and mind are just not in sync.

Anyways, I'm trying to catch some z's. Now that the numbing has worn off, I'm in a tin of pain. At least I was able to catch 2 hours of sleep while I was remotely numb. And this narcotic isn't doing what I thought it would...lord please let me catch just a couple more hours of sleep. I'm starting to get migraines Jesus.