I'm Kinda Dumb but...

Why is this site so fixated on holding the attention of those that shouldn't matter?

Consider this for a moment...

You're back in second grade, a newbie amongst a flowering classroom of children who undoubtedly grew up in that small town together. Children who most likely played ball in the afternoons, attended each other's birthday parties, tossed rocks along the cul-de-sac together. They're cohesive and comfortable.

And now you're that proverbial "odd man out".

The teacher dons that same sweet grin that every adult figure does when the day hasn't wrung it outta them yet, assures your parent that you'll be alright. That "this is normal". And proceeds to instruct the class to "be nice" because you're "new" and this is a "scary time" for you. But kids aren't that accommodating, never have been. They'll scoot aside for you, make room, but slip right back into that stenciled livelihood of inside jokes and continued conversations. And for a while, you're suspended like that... Awkward and shrinking... Until something unusual happens. Maybe you belch aloud after lunch. Maybe you guess correctly to a question the class has struggled on. Or maybe you come into class the next day with those light-up shoes tHAT JUST... yeah.

And things change. It's gradual, but certain. It shows in the casual glances aimed your way, in the offers to play football at recess. It takes you a while, but you find your niche and house yourself into a system. You discover who you want to trade lunches with. You earn yourself a seat because it's the one you always rush for first. You get a nickname and own up to it, live up to the claims that come with it... And soon enough, you're no longer that newbie.

Now...

Fast-forward ages later, wherein the sun sets on our playful childhoods and we dawn into a world wherein the Internet is king.

I've noticed something about RPR that makes me laugh sometimes, and I'm sure so many of us can level with it... RPR is so much like the real world. And we shouldn't be surprised, because it's comprised of humanity--- the same fickle and dependent folks you met in class. You've got your cliques, your drama, your misunderstandings. The biggest thing is that, over the Net, insecurities seem to be burrowed or warped with mockery. People dip behind this mask and portray themselves how they want, a second life they hold at their fingertips. A redo made up of puppetry slung in the keyboards.

I've been on this site just long enough to notice a recurring thing that, to this day, makes me question everything. I don't understand why people seem so dependent on whether or not they're acknowledged online. Now, I know this argument alone is gonna draw some rebuttals, so let me flesh things out a bit...

I get that we all want to make friends. Humans are social creatures by nature, even on the Internet. It makes sense for us to want to belong, to wish to return home after a long day and just let it out with those around you. I'm not disputing that. But I can't see why it gets to the point wherein your happiness and self-worth are measured by someone's approval of you in a crack rp. You want to be noticed, but why so badly? To fit in, is important, but must it ruin your experience of the roleplay? This site is crafted for story-making and interactions, and yet people find themselves more fixated on what's going on in chatrooms than their own character walls. 

Then there's the fact that people claim to be outright "ignored" when it seems they never really tried. I don't mean a random "...uh" or "im  lonely" post amidst a fast-paced chatroom. People either won't see that or refuse to craft out the care to acknowledge something so... brittle? When I say to 'try', why not tag people (a lost art on RPR nowadays)... AGGRESSIVELY. I know it's not within everyone's character to be so forthcoming and outright, but at least give it a go. On many occasions, truly make your presence known. It's all about reading the air. What are people talking about? Do you have the means to contribute? Nothing's wrong with stepping away and waiting for a conversation to come up that you can level with. Just as nothing's wrong with changing it altogether on your own! There's an art in socializing, in grabbing attention, even subtly, and people these days refuse to see it that way.

This is a subject I've always been passionate about because I've been there on both ends. I've been ignored on tons of occasions, just as I've been that fluttering admin struggling to fix everything... Until I realized that it wasn't my job to. We're all big boys and girls who are capable of ourselves--- it's called "autonomy" in which we can take responsibility for ourselves. I'm not saying to allow injustice to riddle you, oh god no... But socializing? We learn the basics when we're toddlers... Reach out, and if you can't fit into that group, dammit find your own. Nothing's better than having a ragtag group of friends that YOU found all by yourself--- even if it's just you all conversing in the spam rooms. Find people who feel the same, and FEEL that way together. You don't have to necessarily insert yourself into a withstanding group in order to be something. Humans are strange like that. We cling to what we know and where we feel safest, and it shows in these "cliques". It's an insecurity in and of itself, at times, if you think about it. We're all so much more alike than we give credit for.

I don't know, just... I see so often people complaining about not belonging and I wonder why it matters. Why we deem our worth from the approval of others on a site like this... It's one thing to feel a bit disheartened by not fitting in, but to allow it to affect you so greatly? If an rp gives you bad vibes, ing bounce. Don't remain and complain and ruin it for those who actually LIKE it. Leave. Ain't a damn thing wrong with conceding to the fact that people can't handle you or that a place just isn't right for you. Why let it tear you down when you're worth more than that?

Why... When you've got a working and unique character that anyone who ignores you is missing out on? 

Why... When you can just ignore those that ignore you and participate as you would like? Do you and exist as you are.

Why... When there are so many other things that matter more than people laughing at your joke on a roleplaying site?

Seriously, I don't give a ing damn what people think of me. I don't care for their opinions or their input. I only log in and talk for my friends. TO my friends. They are, in essence, what matter to me here. And if you want to make more of them, fine! But just know... it takes work, guys. It really does. I was a nobody just a year ago, but I really do believe that everyone needs to experience adminning a growing rp at least once to know... To see what it does (the haters you get, the drama it festers, the weariness that etches your bones). It's hard stuff--- even harder when people act like you need to babysit them. But it puts you out there. Along with being in lots of different places and just SHOWING yourself. You create a following, a street rep. Like I said, it's an art.

I do firmly believe that there are people made to PM rp and those made to be in active ones. Neither is better than the other--- it's all just a perspective on what you'd focus on. RPR isn't defective, it's not a bad site nor has it ever been. But humanity never did know how to handle things that extend so far beyond them.