Is this who I am?
Am I really this kind of person who can't be away from home for even a week without starting to cry like a little baby the momen I am home?
Why do I feel so at home and yet I feel like I really want to go home again? I don't like the host child, the host dad is a nightmare and the grandmother always screams at me in Chinese and I can't understand her at all - and it frustrates me so mcuh right now.
Don't get me wrong. I love this city.
I love China. I love being here and I have so much fun at University and training (went to the Olympic water cube today) and I the other foreign students are so nice and yet.... it's the second night I come home and start crying.
Why? Just why.
Is it because I don't have the option to say "I want to go home"?
Because I am stuck here with this family and such a tight schedule I can't even call my friends because the WiFi in this apartment is tier than ty and the only one who really cares about me is my best friend who has the worst working hours and is barely able to talk to me?
Could it really be that I am frustrated to a point where I start crying as soon as I am in my room on my own? I don't get it. How can I be this content and at home in a city so far away from all the people I love and how can I fall in love with Beijing over and over again, but then I fell like screaming and begging someone to come and get me so I can go home?
I don't know. Someone help me.
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