I'm so tired

I'm so ing tired

of everyone

of everything

i want out

i try so ing hard and for what?? To be ted on all the damn time

i was finally able to stop taking my medicine...I was fine...I stopped smoking and i haven't had a drink in forever...

but now I'm back...I've relapsed so hard...I've gone down in such a downward spiral

my mother calls it the rabbit hole...she tells me don't go down the rabbit hole everything will be okay...

no ma, everything won't be okay...and the truth of the matter is...

i live in the rabbit hole...only I sometimes come up for air

family never lasts they don't love you unless you make money or bend to their every will...or at least my family

friends...faker than Kim kardashians ...they all get annoyed with me after a while...they all get sick of me

i'm not good enough...never have been and never will be

im the one that no one remembers...the one that's easily forgotten

im always too emotional, too dramatic...nothing I feel is ever real and it's all in my head

and between my real life and rpr life it's a miracle I'm still even alive

but I can't help but think...this is what you wanted right?

you wanted to see me broken...to see me have nothing left

well congratulations...you've won...