Cuz the other day I was told that the way I look I haven't looked since I was 9 years old. There was a darkness to me and my countenance that is no longer there. When I was told this I almost cried, cuz literally all it took for that darkness to go away was for me to leave a place that was no good for me.
And the more I learn about my stepfather the more I'm growing to really truly hate him. But kicking my mother and I out of the house is the best thing he ever did.
So my mom and I are currently staying in a motel, we have no money, the mattress is uncomfortable af, the sheets and blankets are thin af and scratchy af. They only seem to have food that my mother and I are allergic to or can't have and so we've taken to eating one meal a day if any at all to save our money. And despite all this, for the first time in my life these past 5 days that we've been here have been the first time I haven't had any night terrors. I'm actually sleeping...for the first time in my WHOLE LIFE I'm actually sleeping through the whole night (for the most part cuz this is a love motel so walls are thin af and these people don't know how to be quiet fml).
I just laugh cuz I truly believe my stepfather (or I guess former stepfather since they're divorced now lol) did this with the intention to see us fail. My mother believes that he did it because he believes she has more than enough friends to help her and us. The funniest part? So far the only people that have helped us a little have been people that HE was close to lmao.
I seriously can't wait to go get the rest of my stuff out of that house so I can truly be free once and for all.
I really hope they place us somewhere with better internet though cuz this unreliable internet thing is starting to irritate me. On the bright side it's caused me to start drawing and physically write again orz.
side note: you guys should join my ent au rp Phoenix. I definitely need a Hyunseung to my Hyuna. I also need someone to make some sense go into my Hwasa. And someone to help my Hyeran (Z.Hera) see that there is more to her life than being Baekhyun's wife (long story lmao and she's currently just his fiancé and they won't get married). I also have a Jessica, Chungha, Yuta, Song Jieun, and Luna that can use some friends and/or some love.
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