- train station

@jongin ‘All I saw, dreamed and Imagined for months were you and I again…’

Those words were sickeningly startling, but the meaning behind it – the reason why he would have such dreams were bittersweet. It left a malevolent stain in her chest, it made her want to curl up and hide herself away from the world or anyone who was trying to knock that large door down. And again, he had slowly crept in the one spot she thought she was able to have closed off to the world, or anyone who tried to enter. It wasn’t fair. How he could easily leave her behind, and come back with whatever intentions he must have had. The past had been the past that was for sure, it was one of the reasons why she was fishing for the ideal response.

“You’re right; you did do this to yourself, Jongin. You did this to us—“

Feeling go dry, she reached for her arm, rubbing it slowly before she allowed another sigh to leave her pink, lush lips. Why was she sounding so bitter, after wishing him well? The mood was taking another drastic return.

“Whatever the reason was, however you managed to do it, you got over me. And to see you so far in life warms me. There’s no need to talk about what happened long ago, you’re happy, so you claim, and I’m happy as well. And having that come from people like us is a blessing. Happiness has always been a hard thing to settle into without complications coming around the corner.” Giving him a frail smile, she searched through her mind for things to say without sounding pungent, irritated, or damaged. But no matter how many times she played the words in her head, they didn’t come out right.

Him and her – they didn’t come out right either.

“Things happen. Maybe we were just… never meant to be?” Her gaze had shifted towards the floor as hugged her right arm, mumbling more to herself, but it was loud enough for him to hear. She had heard the annoyance in his voice earlier, and knowing how they got whenever they fought, she didn’t want to create another scene for the public to see.

“After you disappeared, it might have taken awhile to finally pick myself up back together – but I did it. And the old girl you used to know, the Hyuna that would have been quick to hurt you, happy to get revenge on you is not here anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m tired of fighting…” She whispered once again, her brows furrowing as she blinked a bit. She couldn’t determine if that was a good thing, but she would have to deal with it. "I fought for our love, everyday, for nearly a year, thinking you would come back." It was the truth.

“But you hurt me, you really did hurt me. And I think its right to say that in order for me to forgive you, please don’t say things like that. Don’t tell me how hard it was for you, Jongin, because imagine the pain I must have went through. You were the only one who knew about my situation with my past exes, you were only one I had, and you left. Just like that. You did the one thing you promised me you would never do to me – you did the one thing I told you I was afraid of happening... or do you not even remember that any more?” She could feel it, the sadness building and spreading in her words. “So don’t tell me what you went through. If it doesn’t deal with the present, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to be made a fool out of again.”

@hyuna He lived in a world of solace but he achieved his life long dream; Why would he have felt the need to chase after love again when it only left bitter memories? His heart was at ease and although he felt like an empty shell, he wouldn't have anyone to worry about or vice-versa.

'Isn't that how things should be?'

He studied her intently as her fingers fiddled with her necklace but when her gaze tore away from his followed by a sigh, he knew she wasn't content with his precise answer.

'But are you being honest with yourself? Money doesn't compete with that this heart wants..and I'm sure it's something more than just a few pieces of paper that shows and determines what class you're in..' His adams apple rose and fell; He had a feeling that although he held an unclear expression, she could see right through him. He was afraid she'd see just how fragile his love was for her through his expression so he lowered his gaze to that of her hands.

'You might have it all, but are you happy?'

He stood silent with no intention to answer such a personal question infront of so many people for the fact that an argument could have spread false rumors but at that point he wasn't exactly thinking straight.

'But I'm glad you have your life together and found what motivates you the most. really I'm proud of you, and wish you the best of luck..'

It was as if his dark orbs bore into hers that moment, pained and full of past regret; "I thought I'd feel better after I left but things only got worse so I drowned myself within my writing to find release. All I saw, dreamed and Imagined for months were you and I again..only to wake up to an empty bed, only to remember that I did this to myself..." Clear frustration, wanting to vent, he had no intentions of stopping regardless of where they were.

"I didn't think I deserved anyone else's love during that time and it was so hard..I don't even know how I got over you."

@jongin So, that was the bitter truth? How was she supposed to feel now? She knew she was the one who asked for it, but to hear it now, to hear it so boldly leaving his lips and drenching her heart in nothing but remorse and worry - had made her tear up at the facts. Shouldn't she be... Happy for him? It felt like there was a war going on inside of her chest, and inside of her mind - one that she couldn't contain on her own.

"I guess you do have everything you want, Jongin."

With her fingers fiddling around with her necklace, Hyuna finally tore her gaze away from his own, and allowed a soft, small sigh to slip pass her lips. Why was he asking her that question anyway? How was she supposed to know? It was his life...

"But are you being honest with yourself? Money doesn't compete with what this heart wants... And I'm sure it's something more than just a few pieces of paper that shows and determines what class you're in," she trailed off quietly as she lifted her finger up and placed it along his chest; where his heart was at. "You might have it all, but are you happy?"

There were times when she found herself asking the same question. And in the end, it always went unanswered.

"But I'm glad you have your life together, and found what motivates you the most, really. I'm proud of you, and I wish you the best of luck."

@hyuna His opinion on the reason why the two had grown apart was better left unsaid. he'd only hurt her further if she knew why he chose to leave. Then again he could have made a difference, there was always this 'what if?' In his head that Jongin couldn't get rid of.

No reason for an excuse that moment, she had someone else, that he was sure of so it wouldn't hurt to tell.

"You were the inspiration for which I wrote my novels, but.." He fiddled with the journal at hand, a old habit he'd come upon when he felt stressed. " I hadn't seen myself going forward, reaching my dreams with you. This was something I needed to do alone.." He chuckled.

"I mean look where I am now." He pointed out, referring to the materialistic things he owned. They were a brief distraction but the truth was he felt empty. He had lived up to his dreams as a great writer and artist but without her by his side he felt like he had no place in the world.

The reason for which his books grew from a romantic genre to criminology and murder. The break up had affected his writing and he had no clue as to whether what 'romance' was anymore.

"I have everything I wanted..don't I?" His expression was unreadable but inside he felt torn, his heart ached for the woman before him but he'd never let her know that.

@jongin “Of course, I want nothing more than that. There’s no point in being bitter towards each other, we’re now fully grown.” Hyuna mumbled out in response to his harsh, bitter words that had spoken nothing but the truth. It was the truth that she hadn’t heard or felt in so long, when it came to any of her past lovers.

But there was one more thing she wanted to hear.

It was the one thing that only he could answer and no one else could. She deserved to know, she deserved to bury the pain that her heart continuously deal with when it comes to trusting others.

“Back then, was there someone else, Jongin? I know it won’t change anything, and I’m not trying to do that, but I need to know.” She whispered a bit, before regaining the confidence that dropped five seconds ago, and nodding her head firmly. “Maybe there’s something you can tell me that can help me change a bit. What was wrong with me? What happened to us?”

She really wanted to know this, because she couldn’t understand it anymore. Even with past relationships, they always tripled the other when it came to fights, both physically and mentally. At times, she always cursed and blamed the other, but maybe it was her? Why was she so insecure at times like this? It felt as if there was so much wrong with her, so much that she couldn’t pinpoint just exactly what it was.

@hyuna As much as he wanted to avoid such exposure, he chuckled bitterly, a surge of emotions had crossed his mind whilst she spoke. 'Life is filled with surprises right? Can't exactly say you weren't full with those either.'Who was she to say she didn't have her own?

How was he even able to stand near her? Her very presence wounded him, all he could remember were the endless arguments, fights appearing out of nowhere. He should have seen the signs but he did the right thing, he wouldn't have been who he was today if he hadn't chased after his dream.

If only he could change time then perhaps they would have been together now, if only he could tell her the reasons for which he was out most of the time 'would..she understand anyways?' He merely sighed as he knew the moment that they came across each other again would lead to something more.

"What difference would it make now?"

He was hoping he cut through her just as she did once to him, he chose to leave because he knew the love they had for each other was anything but healthy and although he knew he could have made a difference then, he was too young to realize.

Naive and careless.

"After all, I didn't think you'd want to see me again after what happened." He mentioned. "Why don't we keep things friendly while they last?" Jongin wasn't intentionally saying such things for his sake but for hers. He'd made her cry one too many times.

@jongin It was more than some sort of surprise; try “never expecting to see you at all” was what could better describe the words that were dying to come out, just to see the look on his face, or to see if it’ll change at all, after they were released. Rubbing her arm slowly and giving him a small, sincere smile – to her, it was the best she could do and work up at the moment, she nodded her head and agreed with him, deciding to play it safe for now.

“Life is filled with surprises, right? Can’t exactly say you weren’t full with those either—“

Realizing how sour that might have sounded or rude, she quickly lifted her hands up and tried to defend her negative response, but nothing left her lips but a pitiful sigh. “Look, I’m sorry.” Can he blame her? They didn’t exactly end on a good note, and she still found herself thinking about what could have been – if he didn’t leave the way he did.

You see, Hyuna was never good at small talk, and she was positive that Jongin knew this. Why were they bluffing around with each other? Getting to the point would be better than just sitting around and waiting for another surprise to take place. But she was conflicted. Did she want to leave without answers, or stay and possibly leave hurt all over again? The years they spent apart, the time it took to heal and mend her wounded heart – she’ll never forget it. The bad memories are always quick to come in situation likes these, but could she forget about the times he made her happy? The feeling of belonging, of being able to rewrite her story and slowly change for the better had made her complete. It had made her… normal?

“I can’t do this to myself, and I won’t do this to myself, to the both of us – but we need to talk, Jongin. I can’t move on with myself nor do I plan on getting better if this, us – if I can’t resolve this… this block in my life. I’m not begging you to get back together to me or coming off to you as some desperate female, I’m coming to you as a woman now. One who wants to make changes in her life for the better, one who doesn’t want her past determine her future—“ Her red lips were trembling now, and within those few seconds of silence, she didn’t know what else to say. This all felt so surreal, he was so close yet far away.

@hyuna The softness hidden behind her voice had stunned him because for a second he thought he'd heard someone he knew a long time ago, Jongin thought he was hallucinating when she finally stood to give him the possesion he'd dropped to keep her from further falling.

But something wasn't right, her aura seemed different and for a brief moment he felt as if he were with 'her' again. Her voice seemed so familiar but when she finally stood and he was given a chance to catch a glimpse of her features, he'd tensed for it wasn't his imagination that was playing with him, nor was he hallucinating.

Jongin couldn't take his eyes off of her and if he said he hadn't felt the attraction when he saw her, he knew he was lying to himself because although he'd worked hard to keep himself out of the grasp of the women who chased after him, those feelings for her still lingered.

He was never the type to go after a woman until he'd met her, dare he say her name and bitter thoughts would fill his mind. "...Hyuna?" He voiced out, unable to take the journal from her until she held it out for him to take. So he did and to mask the emotions he once fell a fool for exposing, he appeared indifferent.

"What a surprise, I never thought I'd see you again."

@jongin How was she supposed to respond to him? No matter how many times he called out to her, or for her, she still couldn’t properly look up at him and tell him that everything was fine. It would be a lie if she said everything was alright, because things were far from being alright. But was there any point to being honest with each other? Not with what she knew, or what she went through because of him. With her fingers tapping against the journal she had regretted laying eyes upon, a small shake of her head erupted – and to her, that was better than no response at all.

“I’m fine.”

The call of what she considered “the truth” had finally escaped her trembling lips, and slipped into the thick air. Yeah, she was fine. What was there to dwell about? The past was the past, and there was a reason for any and everything that went on in her life, right? Her meeting him all over again… there had to be a reason to meet up with him out of the blue like this.

“I’m fine, sorry about that.” With how it took him so long to realize who she was, she was starting to think that he probably forgot about her. Someone as great as him, someone as smart and handsome as him, someone as… better off as he was without her – had every right to forget about a simple girl like herself. Why was she expecting him to think about what could be so easily forgotten? It was the unexpected, something she knew that would only happen in dreams.

“Here’s your journal.” Now, looking at him from this angle, and just in general, she became nervous again. God, how was he able to do this to her after all this time of being apart? Dropping her gaze down towards the black journal that had his initials engraved in it, a small smile slipped along her lips as she thought about the past and how something similar happened. But they were young and foolish back then. Unaware of the world and what love itself was capable of doing, along with life. So much has changed between them, physically, and mentally. And a part of her couldn’t determine if those changes were good or bad. “Again, I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention—“ His name was aching to roll off the tip of her tongue, but it never came. She stood there, gazing up at him in confusion, hurt, and curiosity – too many emotions one person shouldn’t have to deal with alone.

@Hyuna;

Accompanied by silence as he stepped out of the first train he took on his way home, the reason for which left the car was for evading people he certainly hadn't wanted to see and for the lack of privacy he was given due to his status ;so on days as such he would dress up as casually as he could after he left his office.

Greeted by the sudden chattering of civilians, he wore a mouth mask to further blend in with the crowd as he carried his prized journal. Pent up thoughts of the past and what he expected from the future as well as Idea´s that came to mind for novels on the get go were written down.

Stopping beside a pole to await his last train of the day, he hadn't noticed a brunette had stood beside him for he was busy scanning the crowd out of curiosity, also to clear his thoughts and simply look at the day to day scenery which varied with the weather, but for now he came across woman feeding her child on a bench while a couple bickered on the far side, teenagers going home chatting up a storm with their classmate while adjacent to them stood an old couple tending to each other.


'A slice of life' He thought of as a starting title for what could possibly be his next painting muse or a short article he'd read over the radio to his avid readers.

Caught off guard, the brunette had caused him to drop his journal for he had caught her from further falling, furrowing his eyebrows he glanced at the older man who had zig zagged past the two without so much as an apology to the young woman, "Miss are you alright?" He called out to her, wondering why she wouldn't get up after she'd dropped his journal again. "Miss?"

@jongin;

With a breathless sigh leaving her lips, Hyuna quickly rushed inside of the nearest train the moment she felt her phone vibrating for the third time that night. Whoever was sending her all of these random text messages and even describing where she was, had not only sent her senses flying everywhere, but it made her think about what else they could have known about her. The thought of this being a prank was long gone when they talked about her father’s business, and a deep, non-talked about secret the family had hidden within the small circle that was filled with only Hyuna, her mother, father, and a few co-workers. Making her way throughout the train, she pulled the cap she was wearing lower to hide her face from people who might have recognized her, and stood beside a tall, lean figure – her hand clasping onto the pole for support as a few people brushed or bumped pass her, causing her to stumble into the other; and a light ‘thud’ to break through the small chattering and bubble popping from some nearby teen filling the train. “I’m sorry.” Hyuna quickly whispered as she bent down and reached for the journal that had fallen out of the stranger’s grasp; soon being attended by her fingers as she brushed her thumb over the familiar name engraved in the fine, expensive looking journal beneath her fingers. “Kim Jongin…” She quietly read to herself, already regretting the decision to have even come this far, because nothing but bittersweet memories flashed throughout her mind. And as if she’s be jabbed by something sharp, the journal once again slipped through her fingers as she sat there, bent over with nothing but her bottom lip trembling, and her heart racing. What was she to do now?

GDI HENRY

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