✕ LIVING ROOM

@PARK BOM Boa looked over as the woman spoke. "Thanks." She gave her a small smile. It was evident that the elder woman cared about her and wanted to help. The thing was that the younger wasn't used to accepting help from anyone. Since she'd met her ex, she'd done everything for herself and for him too. It was just who she was now. The bleeding was making it hard to do anything though. She'd lost so much already. Covering the wound again, she applied pressure to at least slow down the bleeding.

When Bom gave her the items she'd asked for, she expected the woman to leave, but she didn't. That was fine with Boa. Having her around made things a little easier and made her feel safe and calm. She smiled as she took the supplies and she heated the needle until it was almost too hot to hold. She placed it next to her and grabbed another gauze pad, wetting it with the alcohol and sterilizing the wound as best she could.

After threading the needle, she began to sew the hole in her body shut. Too most people, the pain of doing this with nothing to numb it would seem like they were dying. To Boa, it was no worse than a bee sting. She had grown accustomed to the pain and she barely felt it. It took her longer than normal to stitch it, because her hands were shaking from the blood loss, but she finally finished it and tied the wound off. With that done, she cleaned it one last time by pouring alcohol down her side. It stung, but she remained silent. Whenever she'd done this in the past and made a noise, she'd been "rewarded" with another wound. For that reason alone, she'd learned to be silent regardless of the level of pain.

She sat on the side of the bed in her shorts and sports bra, breathing heavily. The pain was beginning to subside as she went numb again. She stood up and cleaned the bed off, happy that none of her blood had soiled it. Once she finished cleaning up her mess, she looked at Bom and smiled. "Ready to sleep baby?"

It was clear that the other woman was lost in thought, but she was suddenly feeling exhausted all over again and she could feel herself slowly losing consciousness again. It was normal. When she went numb, it was her bodies way of dealing with the pain. Sleep was another. She climbed into the bed and opened her arms to her the woman she loved with a smile. Before they could sleep though, she needed help with one thing. On the nightstand was a piece of gauze and some tape. "Bommie, can you cover the wound with that, please. I would, but I honestly don't have the energy." She pointed at the items and rolled onto her left side to give the woman access to the wound. It was amazing how much she could endure. It never ceased to amaze her.

@KWON BOA Bom watched her, not sure how to react. It was clear that she was weak, getting weaker by the minute, and Bom felt like she should at least do the stitching herself. She knew, though, that sometimes people felt better doing certain things themselves - if an accident occurred, if the needle slipped, at least the other person's trustworthiness would be left intact if it wasn't them guiding the needle, even if they were just as or less likely to make a mistake in the long run, even if they were actually more trustworthy. With Boa, she didn't want to in unnecessarily and insist she do the stitching herself, knowing how people could be about that sort of thing, despite her don't. She nodded. "If you want me to take over any time, I've done it before too; I can help."


She didn't bother to ask whether to stay or not during the actual stitching; that much she'd decided on her own. She cared about Boa, and it was precisely for that reason that she'd have refused to leave even if Boa had asked her to. She had seen how headstrong the woman could be, and there was no doubt that Boa had the strength of will to order Bom out, but in her state, Bom wanted to be there for her if she passed out suddenly.

She got the needle and the other supplies without hesitation. She felt better - much better - knowing the lighter was only for sterilizing the needle; a cauterization would have been difficult no matter how it was done. Even just stitching, it would be slow, painful; slow Bom knew from practicing on her brother, painful from the expressions on his face. That was why Bom had gotten the painkillers anyway, just in case. She believed Boa wholeheartedly about being able to take pain; she could tell this wound wasn't an easy one to endure, and she could see the other kind of pain in Boa's eyes, still. It was precisely because Boa could take so much pain that she'd brought the drugs; she knew it was only Boa's willpower that had let her endure this much, and she didn't know how much more would finally be too much.

Of course, the drugs would only help with the physical half of her pain, although maybe the narcotic effects could help take the edge off painful memories. That, too, Bom knew from experience. Not that she'd been physically injured very badly, thanks to her brother's selflessness, his alertness, his care for her. The other kind of pain was another matter altogether. She supposed she was weak, to still be affected by it. Her brother had moved on from worse.

Because she knew Boa hurt, because she knew how much focus the stitching required, she stayed silent, looked away to give the woman some privacy while she worked. That let her get even more lost in thought. Somewhere along the way, she realized how lost she had become in the past. Years had passed, almost thirteen since the incident; it was time to move on. But something in her wasn't ready yet. She snuck a glance at Boa again, found herself counting the similarities between Boa and the other girl she'd known. Maybe - maybe she should tell Boa, when everything was quieter. Then she could get some of this out into the open, why she acted strange sometimes, why she didn't want to lose Boa.

@PARK BOM Boa sat there, watching her body release its own hemoglobin. This wasn't the first time she'd seen this, but hopefully it would be the last. She looked up at Bom and nodded. "Yea. If I don't stitch it up, it's not going to heal." She was confused by Bom's reaction. Stitches weren't that bad, so what did the other woman think she was going to do to herself. Suddenly she realized she had probably expected Boa to burn herself. It wasn't bad enough for that, yet.

Hearing the elder's words gave her reason to smile. No one had ever said anything like that about or to her before. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet and a bit raspy, but it was enough for her companion to hear. "Don't worry about me though. I'll always be fine. I'm as close to invisible as you can get." She was joking of course, but she really didn't see anything happening to her anytime soon. Being the perceptive person she was, she knew there was something Bom wasn't telling her, but she figured it was something personal and the girl would tell her when she was ready.

As she continued to put pressure on her wound, she listened. "Oh. I see. Well he was right. I can take a lot of pain. Both physically and emotionally." She had been most of her life, so why should now be any different? But it was. With Bom, she felt complete, loved, safe. That was something she hadn't felt since she was a kid. At the offer of getting doctors, she shook her head adamantly. "No. I can stitch myself. It's not the first time I've done this. I will be okay." She would to. Of course it would hurt, but the pain coupled with the loss of blood might help her sleep some more. She really was still exhausted, but insomnia was hard to reverse. She'd learned to stay awake, so he couldn't hurt her more than he already was.

@KWON BOA "A lighter?" She hadn't seen cauterizations actually carried out before, not in person. Stitches were easier; those she had practiced many a time on her brother, on school nights when he couldn't bear to face his parents about it, and when a hospital would have been too conspicuous. She looked at Boa anxiously, took her hand. "I think so, but...are you sure you can take it? And...do you need it?" If the wound would heal without being burned shut, she'd rather not see Boa in any more pain. She was afraid the other woman was right, though; with hospitals out of the question, they'd have to substitute with trickier procedures here at the penthouse. Maybe, if there was some way she could get medical help without revealing her and Boa's identities...

She looked at Boa, hearing her next words. "Don't say that," she said, a little more sharply than she'd meant to. "You...you've as much value to me as everyone else I've known here, put together. And..." She shifted a little, smiled sheepishly. "I'm not angry at you for being so selfless. I just...I'm worried for you. I don't want to lose you." Not again, she wanted to say, but Boa might not understand who she meant, who was the first time - Bom hadn't told her about her school days at all.

She glanced toward the doorway. Should she tell Boa? Did Jongdae want her to know? "Just a conversation we had," she said tentatively, then added, "I wasn't sure I was being good enough to you, and I thought you wouldn't like me. But Jongdae said otherwise." She left it at that; she could see Boa's lashes fluttering, and, looking down, Boa felt her heart freeze just a bit: the wound was bleeding again, faster. "I...I'll get the lighter. And painkillers - Boa, are you sure you're okay with this? I could get help. There are doctors who won't ask too many questions..." She could tell Boa's instinct would be to refuse, but she had to know. She couldn't bear to see her in any more pain.

@PARK BOM She nearly jumped at Bom's words. That was simply a nice way of saying "ew." Turning to look at the woman, she shook her head. "I'm okay. It's my side that I'm worried about. That one wasn't quite so shallow." Depending on what it looked like, she knew what she would have to do. Although she'd stitched herself up before, she didn't relish having to do so again.

As she was pushed back onto the bed though, she couldn't find the strength to fight, so she gave in. When Bom got to her side, Boa looked down at it and saw what she was sure the other woman was seeing as well. Letting out a gust of air as she felt the wound, she subsequently sighed. "Bom, do we have a needle, a lighter and some thread?" She would do what she had to, because this wound was too deep to leave open. She knew in a few days, she'd have lost too much blood to compensate without going to the hospital.

As the other girl insulted her, she just nodded. "Because other people's lives have more value than my own. Why should I worry about myself? I've come close to death before and survived, so clearly the grim reaper doesn't want me either." Her laugh came out hollow and breathless. It made her side hurt as well.

When the other woman blushed, Boa cupped her cheek. "I would love that baby, but let me sew myself up first so I'm not such a bloody mess." She smiled softly at her woman and shook her head. "I probably won't sleep. At this point, I'm too uncomfortable and the only thing that will knock me out again is a high dose of pain or more blood loss." She hated to say that, but it was true. "I will hold you while you sleep if you'd like though." She pecked the woman's cheek and then her lips, not wanting an argument.

The familiar scent of food wafted to her nostrils and made her stomach growl. Jongdae. He was such a sweetheart. She'd have to remember to do something to thank him when she was better. As she heard him through the door, she wanted to get up, but knew her body wouldn't let her, nor would Bom. Instead she called back to him, "Thank you. I'll be okay, but you should get some rest." Bom said all she thought about was everybody else, but Boa had noticed that Bom and Jongdae weren't much different in that aspect.

Turning to look at Bom, her brows furrowed. "What does he mean? What did he tell you?" She was curious now as well as lightheaded. It wasn't a mystery why either. Her side was still pouring blood and she had no way to stop it yet.

@KWON BOA Seeing Boa's wounds, Bom's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness, Boa, you shouldn't have - I'm sorry, I didn't know, it must hurt so much, and..." She pressed the other woman gently back down onto the bed. "Stay here, okay? I'll get the things for you. I...I don't want you to hurt yourself again."

She had left the alcohol and gauze out last night; it wasn't hard to find them. Returning, she sat down next to Boa, undid the old gauze ever so carefully, trying not to let her fingers shake too much, hoping the other woman didn't see how her cheeks flushed a bit when her fingers touched Boa's bare skin. The blood was clotting reasonably well, but she could see tiny tears at the edge where the new clots were stressed, and the wound as a whole radiated heat, puckering an ugly red around the edges. It scared her, but she didn't want to panic, to worry either of them more than was inevitable.

"You stupid girl," she couldn't help but murmur, "always worrying about everyone else, never a thought for yourself." That made her smile. Wasn't that part of why she loved Boa? "And...in response to what you said - I'd love to stay with you. If you're all right with that," she added quickly, feeling her cheeks heat again. "As long as it wouldn't make you more uncomfortable...as long as you could still sleep well, that way." She have her a smile. "If you're fine with all that, then yes, I would want to sleep with you." To be honest, it would make her feel safer, too. Knowing she was with this strong, selfless, amazing woman, even while she slept - that would make her feel more secure than anything.

Through their conversation and her work, she could smell Jongdae cooking in the kitchen, could hear him sautéing vegetables on the stove. That made her smile, too - to know they had a good friend close by, one who would always look out for both of them. She hoped he didn't feel unloved; she hoped her and Boa's newfound sense of freedom, of happiness, would spread to him, too. And she couldn't help but grin, hearing the things he said through the door. It seemed he had been right, after all - what he'd told her in the food court, what seemed like an eternity ago...

She studied Boa's delicate features for a moment, was reminded again of a similar set of features, of another brave, beautiful, stupid girl, so long ago. But this time she didn't feel guilty. This time she only felt love for this girl in front of her, and contentment, hope for the future. It felt different - wonderful. Maybe she could finally begin to make things right.

@KWON BOA Jongdae smiled to himself as he watched the two lose themselves to each others embrace, secretly hoping the relationship that had been kindled between Jongdae and his long time friend/ soon to be something more, would turn out like theirs. But as their embrace became more intimate he suddenly felt himself blush a vibrant red as he began to feel like a peeping tom.

Quietly he removed himself from the situation and headed toward the kitchen, knowing that neither of the two women had had anything to eat and would likely be hungry. Rummaging around in the kitchen he found some rice at the back of the cupboard and fished the last few vegetables out of the drawers in the refrigerator.

With the efficiency of one who had often cooked for himself he, set some water on for the rice, peeled and diced the carrot he had found, stripped and chopped the green onions, crushed and minced the garlic, splashed about a tablespoon of olive oil into the clean wok on the stove and allowed it to heat up.

Throwing the garlic, green onions and carrots into the pan he went to the refrigerator again to see if he had missed any vegetables. Placing the rice into the now boiling water he stirred it and then went back to the refrigerator. He found a container of mushrooms hidden near the back on the bottom shelf. Some of them didn't look so good but he was able to salvage a few and sliced those and threw them into the pan.

He made short work of a small head of Bok Choy; chopping it and tossing it into the pan with the rest and what was left of a package of spinach. Jongdae hummed lightly to himself as he tossed the veggies in the wok and made sure the rice didn't burn. He was glad to be doing something of use and the great thing about the meal that he was preparing was that it was healthy and could be eaten warm or cold, and it tasted good either way.

Turning his cooking down to low he went in search of a tray or something he could use to carry the two dishes finding one in one of the cabinets at the back of the kitchen he smiled happily to himself, and he began to sing the song he had been humming quietly. Pulling two dishes from the cabinet and two sets of chop sticks and spoons out of the drying rack next to the sink, he set them all onto the tray.

Putting the final touches on the food he divided the rice into two servings and dumped the vegetables on top. It looked delicious, but he wasn't the one who was injured or the one who had stayed up all night to keep him company. So, he ignored his own stomach. Making sure to clean up all of the dishes that he had used, he left the kitchen neater than he had found it and brought the tray to the room where BoA and Bom had disappeared.

Knocking lightly he said, "I made you guys some food, I'm going to leave it here for you when your ready." He smiled and set the tray on the floor.

"Oh- and Bom," he said as an afterthought, "make sure her cuts don't reopen..." and with a devilish smile he tacked on at the end "And I told you so, didn't I..." with a light laugh knowing that she would get that he was referring to their conversation in the food court. With that, he his heel and headed back down the hall towards the section of the Penthouse that housed the former members of EXO hoping he might run into Minseok there or at least a bed worth falling into.

@PARK BOM Boa had closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed and yet completely calm at the same time. She knew she needed more sleep, but being in this woman's arm was much more important at the moment. As she lay there, she wondered if she actually was still sleeping and this was all a glorious dream. She then realized that if it were a dream, she wouldn't be experiencing so much pain still. It was getting to the point that she felt she would lose consciousness soon.

Knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it, she just wanted to enjoy what time she had conscious with the woman she loved. When the other pulled her closer, she groaned as a pain ripped through her side where the wound was still draining. To keep from getting blood and the other woman, she pulled away. "Bommie, that might not be the best idea at the moment." She lifted her shirt just enough for the other woman to see the blood soaked bandage.

Returning her shirt to it's rightful place, she relaxed once again and sighed happily as the other woman's fingers ran over her face. Her eyes fluttered shut only to open again when she heard her love's voice. "What were you thinking?" Knowing that the girl really did need sleep, she slowly stood up, trying her best not to pull against the wound in her side and held out a hand for the other woman.

She was going to make Bom sleep even if she had to sleep with her. In fact, that idea sounded wonderful, but she knew the other would probably be repulsed by her right now. It still amazed her that she had held her with her like this. Looking over at Jongdae, she smiled. "You should get some sleep too. Later, we can all do something together."

With that, she pulled Bom into their room and shut the door. "I would ask if you want to sleep with me, but I'm pretty repulsive like this." She sighed and sat down on the side of her bed and uncovered the more shallow wounds deciding to tend to them first. Boa felt her hands shaking at the thought of what her side looked like and she knew the scars would be ugly.

With a sigh, she wondered how Bom could still love her when she was so hideous to look at. Maybe love really was blind. After all, she had told Boa she was beautiful even when she'd first seen the scars and for the life of her, she couldn't convince herself that the other woman was lying.

Getting up again to get the alcohol and gauze from the bathroom, she grimaced and groaned. She was going to be sore for awhile and she knew it, but this was her own fault. She should have paid attention to her surroundings. She shouldn't have gone off by herself. She should have been quicker with her own knives. What was wrong with her? Had she forgotten everything she knew?

@KWON BOA Bom blushed when Boa settled in her lap, surprise and...an oddly warm tingling in her chest. She was going to protest to what Boa had said about putting herself in danger - Boa was the one who had ultimately been brave, who had been hurt to save her friends, and Bom could only love her more for that - but she looked so peaceful, her hair spreading out in a dark aureole across Bom's chest, her long eyelashes outlined by the first rays of sun from the windows. Her fingers left little traces of fire on Bom's skin, and...she couldn't believe this was happening. The woman she loved was here, in her arms, and it was the best and strangest thing Bom had ever experienced.

She pulled Boa tighter, for once content to simply be as she was, knowing that the one person she loved was right there, safe, in her arms. After this she didn't think she could get to sleep, not if she wanted to. There were so many wonderful things to dream about in her waking life, she didn't think she could bear to substitute them for sleeping dreams.

There were still so many things she wondered about. Just who were the men last night? Why were they after Boa? She thought she might know, but she wasn't sure. The more she learned of this mysterious, beautiful woman, the more curious she was to know about her past.

Still, now, the only thing she cared about was Boa herself. She wasn't sure how tired Boa was; she knew that she probably needed more sleep than she'd had to recover from her wounds. Maybe she could get Boa to sleep a bit now...

"I couldn't sleep because I was too busy thinking about you," she murmured, and threaded her fingers through the other woman's hair, tracing her fingers across Boa's jaw, listening to the sound of their heartbeats, Boa's light and fast, Bom's slow and steady, mingling in a sort of harmony.

@PARK BOM Boa was surprised when the other woman kissed her, but she couldn't move when she heard the other's words. She sat there for a few moments and then the other kissed her again. Cupping the woman's cheek, she kissed her back with equal fervor. When they finally broke apart, she was struggling to breath. Her head wasn't working correctly.

She grinned suddenly and looked at the other woman. "I'm glad to hear you say that, because I love you too." Unable to contain her happiness, she nearly climbed into the woman's lap. She gave her a stern look then though. "If you ever put yourself in danger like that again though, I won't be happy." She knew the other had done it to save her, but that made it even worse.

She felt guilty and afraid all at once. She remembered all too vividly how close the elder woman had come to getting herself killed. It was more frightening than anything she'd ever experienced before.

Sitting in Bom's lap though made her realize just how weak and tired she still was. She also had a slight fever and she hadn't eaten in close to 24 hours. She still needed to go grocery shopping and she had no energy for that or cooking. Instead, she relaxed against Bom and closed her eyes.

Boa felt as if she were being lazy, but she simply couldn't make herself move. "Bommie, why didn't you sleep?" She could see the beginning of dark circles around the woman's eyes as she traced her features. The woman had such delicate and beautiful skin. She wouldn't mind touching it for the rest of her life. Hopefully the other would be willing to let her.

At this point, Bom and Jongdae were the closest thing she had to family. After what her mom had put her through, she wasn't likely to get in touch with her or consider her family ever again. Eyes still closed, she sighed and let Bom's scent envelope her. It was like a comforting blanket and she reveled in it.

@KWON BOA After having spent all night talking to Jongdae about anything and everything she could think of, Bom found herself looking like a raccoon in the morning for the dark circles under her eyes, having felt somehow too tired to try to sleep. She was probably being stupid; there was nothing she could have done about Boa either way, and she probably should have taken advantage of the peace and quiet to sleep. Somehow, though, talking to Jongdae made her feel better. He was sweet and understanding, like her brother had always been.

As it was, she hardly noticed Boa until the woman had slipped right up next to Bom and curled up beside her. She was already dressed, and her hair was still mussed with sleep; despite the haggard look in her eyes, Bom thought she looked beautiful.

She squinted groggily at the woman, about to say something along the lines of an apology - I love you? - I'm sorry? - Sorry for doing what? - What was she thinking about again? Then, suddenly, Boa's lips were on hers and she lost her train of thought altogether.

Instinctively her hands went to Boa's shoulders, tangling in her hair, fingers weaving at the back of her neck. This, this was truly heaven. She hadn't thought it was possible to taste lips so soft, so warm and firm, to touch another person like this, taste of honey and something else on her tongue, scent of something elusive, bittersweet, the sound of Boa's heartbeat and her own echoing in her ears. She was so close, so beautiful. She was hers. It was heaven, and this time there was nothing to stop them; they could go on forever and there would be no more pain, no more doubt, no more anguish -

She pulled back. There was something she had to say first. She looked Boa solemnly in the eyes - those beautiful dark eyes that she loved so much - and said: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have rejected you like that earlier." There was a lot more to be sorry for, she knew, but saying it, she felt it might have come out wrong. "I love you." There it was. Those three magic words, and no going back on it now; she had promised herself in her mind, too. She was feeling exhilarated, half-incredulous: she hadn't thought the other woman would still accept her. Now that she knew she did, Bom couldn't ignore it any longer. "I love you," she said again, as much to reassure herself as Boa, and, feeling her heart skip a happy beat, she leaned forward to kiss her again.

@PARK BOM Boa felt everything, but gave no indication. While she was surrounded by darkness, all she could see was the things she had been forced to suffer through. It was surprising that she was alive with all the blood she had shed over the past 2 years, not to mention the pain she'd been made to endure.

As I little girl, her dad had read her fairy tales and she'd grown up believing she'd fine that one person who would love her unconditionally. Knowing that she didn't prefer one over the other, her mom had pushed her "abnormal" daughter towards men. As any child would, she wanted to please her parents and she knew they wanted grandchildren. For that reason, she'd dated men. When Min had come along, he'd seemed so perfect and he'd showered her with affection. She'd fallen for him and the rest was history, right? Wrong.

After the first 3 months, he'd lost his job and had moved in with her. Not wanting to work anymore, he'd spent what was hers and started drinking. She hadn't known at the time that he had a problem with alcohol, but she came home one night around midnight and he'd been waiting. He was livid that she was so late, but she reminded him she'd had her release party. Instead of pacifying him, that had made him madder. He had slammed her into the wall and choked her. After she blacked out, he had taken advantage of her and then left her for some other female. The next day, he had explained to her why it was her fault and since she loved him, she accepted that.

Over the next few months, she'd come home to him with other women and eventually he had forced her to sleep with them as well as some of his friends. They had paid him for her too. She hadn't found that out until much later. It still made her cringe to remember.

This continued until the next morning when her eyes fluttered open. She was stiff and sore, but she didn't know why. Looking down at her body, she saw that she was covered in bandages and then she remembered what had happened. How had she been so stupid to put the other two in such danger and Bom...

The girl had been willing to sacrifice herself for Boa. That's when she remembered the kiss. Touching her lips, she tried to figure out if it had been real or if she was imagining it. As she sat up, her breath hissed out from the pain, but she didn't let that stop her. She had to find the other girl. She wasn't in the room and Boa realized she was only wearing her , so she put some shorts and a shirt one. By the time she was done, she had sweat beading on her head and her breathing was shallow. Slipping her slippers on, she went out of the room.

The penthouse seemed to be empty, but she found Jongdae and Bom sitting in the living room, conversing quietly. She went to sit next to Bom and she laid her head on the woman's shoulder. Winking a Jongdae, she asked Bom, "Why did you do it?" She looked up at the woman, waiting for an answer, but there was on other thing she needed to be sure about, so before the girl could answer, she wrapped her arm around her neck and pressed her lips to the other's warm ones firmly. Now, would she pull back, or return the kiss?

@KWON BOA She should have known better. She shouldn't have let Boa walk on her own. But the woman had been so determined to walk, and Bom knew taking a cab would be disaster; they had to stay as low-profile as possible. And since Boa had stopped shivering, she'd thought that maybe she could walk that distance on her own, without being supported by either Jongdae or Bom.

Now she had fallen again and Bom knew it was her fault, knew she should have been less wrapped up in her own feelings on the way over here, knew she should have been more forceful about not letting Boa walk on her own. And this time Boa hadn't gotten up. For a panic-stricken moment, it had seemed to Bom as if Boa weren't breathing; she still hadn't opened her eyes. Bom was grateful to Jongdae for carrying Boa the rest of the way; she was sure she wouldn't have been able to on her own, and not just as a matter of physical strength.

She could see something Jongdae couldn't, though - a dark stain spreading across the side of Boa's chest, staining Bom's coat and what was left of Boa's shirt. That explained the blood loss, thought Bom, a sick feeling in her gut. It occurred to her, then, that it might be awkward for a man to take care of that, given the location of the wound.

She smiled, a little shakily, at Jongdae. "It's fine," she said, "I'll take care of her." It was the least she could do, take the burden off him after all the trouble she had made for him; she didn't tell him about the wound in Boa's side, mostly not to scare him. "Just - can you carry her to her bed, please?"

It wasn't hard to find tape and gauze and alcohol, and Bom was glad to notice, too, that the other inhabitants of the penthouse weren't around, either still out or already asleep. She hurried back to the bedroom, shooed Jongdae out as kindly as possible, then shut the door and set to work.

She managed to get the coat off without much trouble, along with what was left of Boa's shirt. When it came to her bra she stopped, and realized that her cheeks were reddening: even though she knew it had to be done, it somehow felt impolite, and she didn't know if Boa would hold it against her later, if she found out. In the end she elected to cut the cloth away around the wound; it might have been for the best anyway, for blood had caked the cloth on, and trying to slip it off might have trim the skin apart further.

She cleaned the long gash in Boa's side with shaking fingers, trying to keep her grip as steady as possible, swabbing it first with alcohol and then warm water. She tried to be as gentle as she could, knowing how much alcohol could sting; and she couldn't help but notice how warm and soft and smooth Boa's skin was, where it wasn't touched by scars.

The cuts on Boa's cheek and throat were thankfully shallow by comparison. She cleaned them quickly; then, leaving them open to breathe and dry, she leaned her head against the bedpost and sighed, holding Boa's hand absently, trying to think.

She didn't see that Boa could like her very much, not after everything that had happened. It was too bad, too; she had really begun to think she was in love with the woman, that she wanted to give her everything to her, that she wanted Boa to be her forever and always, like some romanticist ideal. She supposed shed messed things up too much for that now. The most she could do was distance herself entirely from Boa - well, maybe not leave altogether; she could still remain a polite acquaintance, only then she felt sure she'd fall in love with her all over again, she'd hurt her again and the cycle would continue -

She shook her head, staring at the way the light fell across Boa's delicate features, trying not to cry. She hated herself for being like this. She was weak, indecisive, easily swayed by her emotions, hurtful to those she loved.

She realized then that she didn't really care any more if Boa liked her or hated her. That would be Bom's fault anyway, however badly Boa thought of her now. All that mattered now was that Boa stayed safe, that she pulled through this, that her wounds would heal - maybe, with time, that the wounds in Boa's heart would heal, too.

She looked over at the dresses they'd bought that day, piled safely in the corner. She'd have to thank Jongdae later for taking care of those. Maybe, with enough friends like him, she could forget Boa, at least partly. Maybe someday, Boa could wear that dress to a date with someone else - smiling, happy, unhurt, safe for once - and then they'd both be happy.

She didn't dare think of the possibility that maybe - just maybe - she was wrong, and Boa could still like her, maybe even love her. She'd have to be pretty stupid to, anyway. And if she were right, it would hurt all the more to know she'd nurtured false hopes. Whatever makes Boa happy, Bom told herself. I'll be happy when she is.

She was still thinking of that when she came out, a little smile on her face, holding back her heartbreak.

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@PARK BOM Boa looked over at Bom as the elder awoke. She was even beautiful in the morning. When she got up to get ready, the younger smiled. "No rush. I still need to shower, so take your time." Having talked to Jongdae already, she decided to go make sure he was awake. Their day of shopping would be just what she needed.

As the other left the room, Boa exhaled audibly. It was nice having the woman so close, but she had awoken wet and it had only gotten worse. Although she had been reading, her mind kept straying to what kissing Bom would be like or even possibly more. She still wasn't sure how the other would react to those types of advances.

After talking to Jongdae, she went back in the room and began deciding what she would wear that day. Not wanting to be found, she thought maybe cutting and dying her hair would be a good idea. The problem was, she hated to lose her luxurious locks. Oh well, she'd figure that out later.

When Bom was done in the bathroom, she quickly showered, brushed her teeth and styled her hair on top of her head before covering it with a hat. Calling Jongdae, they were ready to head out.

@KWON BOA Bom awoke to golden sunlight and the sound of close, soft breathing. Momentarily disoriented, she turned, saw Boa propped up on the bed, reading on her iPad quietly. Her dark, fine hair was silhouetted in the sunlight like jet silk, falling softly across her shoulders, and the sheets clung to her small, slender body. Her expression as she read was so serious, so solemn, that it enchanted Bom. She was so close, and it took Bom a moment to realize why, until she remembered last night: Boa's nightmares waking her, then her going over to comfort her, not wanting to leave her in case the nightmares started again. She must have fallen asleep without realizing it.

Quickly, she twisted away, sat up. There was a blazing, furious blush on her cheeks again, but at the same time, she wanted to smile like crazy. She coughed a little and started, "Well. Uh. G'morning...good morning. I...I'll be getting ready."

Quickly, she slid off the bed and trotted towards the bathroom, her cheeks burning the whole way. Once inside, she shut the door and leaned against it, exhaling loudly, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. If Boa had been awake like that, then - she was all right with them being that close? Physically? Or was she just too timid to move away? Or - ?

The possibilities chased each other around her mind and after a few moments, she was too dizzy to think properly, if she had ever been able to since waking up. Still with that urge to grin stupidly, she got up and went to the sink to wash up. She didn't care if she was wrong about this, if she was just chasing daydreams like a love struck schoolgirl. She felt happy. She'd stay that way as long as possible.

As she washed her face, she relaxed, her dreams from that night filling her thoughts. She couldn't remember the details, but she felt like they were good ones - happy, happier dreams than she'd had in a long time. She frowned, stopped for a moment. She felt like there had been something in her dreams about someone kissing her, just before she'd woken up. Well. That's what happens to the dreams of people who fall in love, right? She smiled, continued washing her face, started humming a song, thinking of the way Boa's lips looked, outlined in the sunlight from the windows.

@PARK BOM Feeling a hand on her shoulder only made her shake harder as she saw her ex pushing her up against the wall, before he started to hurt her as he did when ever she disappointed him. At some point, the night terror turned into a sweet dream of her and Bom on a beach relaxing in the sun together. She wasn't entirely sure why, but this gave her peace.

The next morning, she awoke with the sun streaming through their window as it warmed her face. When she felt arms around her though, her first thought was to panic. It had happened enough in the past and out of instinct, she didn't move and inch. She knew she was in trouble if he were holding her, but the gentleness of the touch finally registered and she looked up to see Bom sleeping.

She smiled, wondering when the woman had gotten in bed with her, not that she minded at all. She had to go to the bathroom, but in not wanting to wake the girl, she simply laid there and d the other's soft skin. Boa brushed the stray hair out of her face. She didn't think she'd ever get tired of looking at this woman's face.

Thinking about the previous night, brought a smile to her lips. Today, they would go shopping. It would be fun and they would both be stress free and together. When Bom's breath sighed out, Boa couldn't resist. She leaned up and kissed the other woman's cheek. Even as she did so, her eyes lingered on the cute bow that was . It looked so inviting and tempting, but Boa knew better then to kiss it. Instead, she waited for her knew friend to wake up. Shifting a bit, she picked up her iPad from the bedside table where Bom had placed it and continued reading her novel.

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@KWON BOA Sometime in the middle of the night Bom became aware of noises in the room: soft ones, but unsettling, nonetheless. Like when she was a little girl, she had the fleeting, childish thought of monsters crawling out from under the beds. She shook that off quickly. She knew what it was, of course. It had to be Boa.

She tiptoed cautiously out of bed, her bare feet silent on the carpet. Boa was struggling in her sleep, , whispering things Bom couldn't hear, that she was quite honestly afraid to hear. In the dim light of her forgotten iPad, Boa's face was cast in soft relief; Bom saw that her brows were knitted together, drawn in a frown, lips slightly parted through her murmurs. Her chest rose and fell irregularly, agonized breaths hissing between her teeth. She looked fragile, vulnerable, more so than Bom had ever seen her before. She could only imagine the pain and terror the girl must be experiencing right now...or whatever she had experienced originally to give her nightmares like this.

Tentatively, Bom put out one hand, touched the girl's shoulder. Boa seemed not to notice. She edged a little closer, perched on the side of the bed, pulled the girl close against her body, stroking her hair in an effort to soothe her. She'd only seen her mother do it a few times; still, it felt right. The girl's body seemed to fit perfectly in her own, sharp, delicate shoulder blades nestled against her collarbone, head bowed in the crook of her neck. Her hair splayed out across Bom's chest, surprisingly soft.

She held the girl until her shaking and her cries subsided, and even then she stayed with her, feeling oddly protective, until she too fell asleep, and the long night came to an end.

@PARK BOM She nodded and went to sit back on the other bed. "Sure. No problem. That's what friends are for, right?" It was nice to know she wouldn't be alone tonight, but when she saw Bom yawn, she felt guilty. Here she was letting this woman take care of her when she herself needed to be taken care of. Shaking her head vehemently, she answered. "Of course. Please get some sleep. I'm sorry for keeping you up. I'm not really tired, so I'll just go read." It wasn't exactly the truth, but she couldn't sleep. She just couldn't.

Instead of dwelling on her negative thoughts, she pushed them away and began to change into the pajama pants and tank t-shirt she was forced to sleep in to cover her scars. Before she'd received them, she'd slept in tank tops and shorts, but that was no long an option. She didn't want all the questions or unwanted attention that she would have received back home. He was the only one who had ever seen them and that was because he had caused them. Well, admittedly he'd had help, but still.

After she was done, she came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed pulling out her iPad to read. Her gaze flitted to Bom when she heard the woman's words. "Thanks. I don't need anything though. I'm just going to sit here and read." She offered the woman a smile and went back to her book. Soon enough she was engrossed in the novel and didn't want to put it down. Unfortunately her lids became heavy.

Sliding further into the bed, she closed her eyes briefly, but she was more exhausted than she'd realized. Soon enough she was asleep, the iPad lay next to her, forgotten. It didn't take long for the night terrors to begin. She was back in that awful room, with no way out. As the torment ran through her head, she begin to shake rather violently.

@KWON BOA Bom grinned. "No, it's okay. I've hardly anything to unpack here anyway. Thanks for offering to help, though." To her surprise, she yawned. "Ah...I hope you'll excuse me. I suppose I was a bit more tired than I thought," she said, a little flustered, adding hastily, "I'm sure you're much more tired than I am, and I'd rather not keep you up - you don't mind if I go to bed now, right?"

Boa's comment about being an idol echoed in her thoughts. She didn't comment on it; she didn't think she'd have anything good to say about it, anyway, certainly not anything comforting that wouldn't come off as cheesy or insincere to the girl. With every new thing the girl said, every shy, short sentence she said about her past, Bom felt more and more like there was a deeper story to this girl than she could have possibly fathomed.

It made her wonder just how terrible her nightmares were.

Looking back at the girl, Bom dipped her head, not sure what to say. "Well - uh, in any case, if you need anything, just ask. Really, it's no problem." She blushed to think of comforting Boa if she were to have a nightmare, to hold her fragile body close, tight, the way Bom's mother had held her as a small child. She barely knew this girl. And yet...

She felt like she knew her so well already. And she already found herself caring deeply about Boa's troubles. She wanted to ward them off, whatever they were. She wanted to protect her.

@PARK BOM "Great. My treat." She had more than enough money to survive the rest of her life without ever having to work again if she didn't want to. She wondered what Bom was running from and decided to ask, but not right now. She didn't want to appear rude. Most of her flashier clothes, she'd left behind with her ex. She wouldn't need them and they'd be too recognizable. He would probably know that she was gone by now and be looking for her. It wouldn't matter. She'd covered her trail well. Paid for everything in cash, disguised herself, even disguised her voice. It wouldn't do to let him find her.

As she looked over at Bom, she got up and went to offer a hand. "Need any help?" Looking at the girls wardrobe, she imagined how hot she'd look in any of her clothes. When she felt her face get warm again, she decided she needed to just ask her and get it over with. Unfortunately she didn't have the courage.

As she waited for the woman to tell her what to do, she nodded. "Yes. I was. I don't think I ever will be again though." It was true and if being an idol meant being put through what she had for the past seven years, well then she wanted no part of it.

@KWON BOA "Actually, that would be lovely. I could use a new wardrobe." She was sure both of them could, but probably Boa in particular. Both of them were fleeing, so it would be best if they were as inconspicuous and unrecognizable as possible. But she felt Boa had much more reason to make herself hidden, to cloak her old identity. If Bom were found, the most she'd get was an angry backlash from netizens, she felt, or maybe an angry letter from her company. If she were fired, it wasn't like she'd even care; she could make do for money, and she was trying to escape her idol-dom in the first place. Boa, on the other hand, had someone out looking for her, looking to hurt her. It was important to shield her from that someone as much as possible.

Something else occurred to Bom. If Boa were seen around frequently with a new friend, even in disguise, that would be a way for people to tag Boa, should they ever know who she was. Then Bom would become as much of a red flag as Boa's clothing. The least she could do, then, for Boa was to make herself as inconspicuous as possible, to the degree that she could, without taking up Boa's time or energy. She looked down at the faded, but persistent, red dye on the tips of her hair - the remains of her last MV shoot, a few days ago. She'd have to get that out first.

She looked back at Boa, who was sitting quietly on her bed. She still looked so lonely. Well, the dye could wait, thought Bom with a smile. First she had to unpack, maybe talk with Boa more, find out about her new friend.

"So," said Bom, "I heard most of the people here are idols. Are you one, too?"

@PARK BOM Boa thought for a moment. She thought being closer to the bathroom would disturb Bom less at night. "Well, if you don't mind, I'll take this one since it's closer to the bathroom and the door. That way, I don't wake you during the night." She really was trying to be considerate. In the past she'd gotten in a lot of trouble for waking her ex up in the middle of the night, because she'd had to use the bathroom early in the morning.

As she put her clothes in the dresser, she glanced at the other woman and saw the bright red color in her cheeks. She wondered if the other had been having similar thoughts to her own, but she doubted it. That would be too nice and Boa's life was anything but nice.

As she finished putting her clothes away, she zipped her suitcases and stored them in the closet. "Actually, I don't have much either. Maybe we could go shopping later, if you want." Boa was used to being indoors, because aside from work, she'd basically been held captive. For that reason, she didn't want to be inside. It made her think about the pain she'd been put through before.

@KWON BOA Bom smiled. "Either one is fine by me. I don't mind." She deposited her bags by the wall, trying not to stare at Boa too much. When she had come in here, was Boa - blushing? No, that would be stupid, to assume anything like that. Boa probably didn't see Bom as anything more than a stranger yet. Stay focused, Bom chided herself.

Actually, come to think of it, she really didn't know if Boa liked only men, or - not. She found herself suddenly wondering about that. Why, she had no idea. She pretended to fiddle with her bags, realizing that she herself was blushing, and for real, too. She shouldn't be thinking this way; it wasn't the first time she'd driven away people by being too naive. Even if Boa just became a friend, she'd be perfectly happy. It wouldn't hurt at all, she promised herself. If it did, and she worried about it, she was just being selfish. All she needed to do was make sure Boa wasn't hurt - and if she acted like a lovesick puppy, she knew she would be hurting Boa.

So why was she thinking about these things in the first place?

She shook her head to clear it. Boa would probably be wondering why she was so silent, being so cold all of a sudden, if she kept dwelling on the matter much longer. "Uh, I don't have too much here, so you can use the closet too, if you'd like. It's up to, uh, you." Why was she having so much trouble speaking?

@PARK BOM Boa nodded as the woman walked away. She stood there thinking of how much her life had been shaped by her parents decisions for her. Well her mother's than her father's. She'd been insecure for the majority of her life and once in the public eye, people had prayed on that insecurity.

As she lugged her suitcases into the back room, she found two beds and sat on one. It was hard for her to even think about what her life had become. This wasn't supposed to be her reality. It was one thing watching it on television, but when no one ever thought it would become real. She now realized her dad had been right. Never say never. That had been her belief growing up and she supposed she'd said it one too many times.

As hard as leaving her friends was, going back would be suicide. She knew from experience what would happen to her if she went back. Then her mind wandered to Bom. This girl was not only drop dead gorgeous, but she was genuinely kind and she didn't even know Boa. That thought reminded her of why she like both es, but had a strong preference for females. They were generally more loving and sensitive, well except in her mom's case. It didn't matter though, because she'd never see her daughter again.

When the elder girl walked in, Boa smiled at her and there was a faint blush on her cheeks. She hoped Bom couldn't tell that she'd been secretly hoping more than friendship would blossom between them. That was dumb though. She didn't even know if Bom liked women and she didn't want to invade the woman's privacy.

Pulling herself from her thoughts, she questioned the woman. "Which dresser and bed do you want?" Sleeping next to the window usually bothered Boa, but she reasoned no one could get to them in the penthouse and since there was only one closet, they'd have to share. That was okay. Most of her clothes would fit in the dresser anyway.

@KWON BOA Bom smiled. Maybe Boa was finally feeling a little more comfortable. Bom was glad of it; it seemed to her Boa was not the type to easily trust people, and rightly so, too, if her past was anything like Bom guessed it might be. "Of course." Thinking about it, she realized she really hadn't unpacked most of her things, what with getting settled and everything. "I'll be back in just a moment," she said with a shy dip of her head, hoping that would be all right with the other woman. "Just have to get a couple things."

She found the rest of her bags in the living room, behind the couch, where she'd left them. She picked them up, along with her old yellow notebook, cover dogeared and worn from use. The book was open to a page; she studied the words, the quick-written Hangul, lines and curls flowing across yellowed paper. Dear Diary, read the top of the page. I realized today that although I'm a very happy person, I don't feel right. My fellow idols are really nice and I think my family has finally accepted my career choice. Maybe soon they'll even accept my uality. That's not the problem, though. I feel like I need more than friends. Maybe a lover. Or just anyone to love me, I suppose. It's selfish...

She trailed off, closed the book, looked back toward the other rooms, where she knew Boa was. Had Boa ever had these same thoughts? Or were there other, more pressing things in her life? Had she never even had the time to blossom, to hesitate in her thoughts, to write selfish things on a quiet spring day in a yellow notebook?

Bom didn't know, but one thing she did was that Bom herself had grown a lot since writing that diary entry. She'd come to see love in a different way. She wasn't so selfish any more. Maybe this time, she could be the one to awaken those thoughts and feelings in Boa, so that Boa wouldn't have to write them on her own, alone, with no one there to listen but an old diary book. Maybe she could help give Boa time to finally discover herself, just as Bom had tried to so long ago. Maybe this time, she'd find her own love. Maybe her love wasn't so far away.

She closed the diary with a smile, picked up her bags, and went into the back rooms to help Boa unpack.

@PARK BOM Boa ate quietly until she finished it all. When she finished, she looked over at the elder woman and smiled. "Thank you for your kindness." She got up and went to take care of the dish. She had been taught the hard way not to leave dishes sitting around. In fact, her "favorite" piece of clothing actually wasn't worn by choice. It was necessary to hide scars as was most of her clothing. It was also a reason she kept her hair down most of the time.

Too much attention always made her nervous, but she hadn't been able to prevent the abuse. Once she washed and dried her dishes, she put them away and went back to the dining room. "Would you like to hang with me while I unpack? Maybe we could unpack your stuff too?" At this point, she didn't want to be alone. She'd been alone for most of her life and now that she'd made a friend, she didn't want to be. If she had to though, it was okay. She would cope. The woman waited for Bom's answer while she played with the hem of her shirt.

@KWON BOA Looking at Boa, Bom wondered what had made her finally give in and flee, seek refuge here. Just how bad were her nightmares? What were they about? Bom knew it could be anywhere from an ex with an overdemanding, abusive personality to something darker - human trafficking, drug rings, crime lords, kidnap and ransom schemes. Or maybe it was simpler. She knew it had been in her own case. Crazed fans, stalking incidents - just a general feeling of unease. On top of that, her manager hadn't allowed her to give up her role as an idol, so she'd had to simply flee.
She wondered how the news sources were taking this. She didn't really want to know.

That, though - that was nothing. That could be explained as a simple, selfish desire to escape from the limelight. Nothing really dangerous had happened to her so far. She still felt like herself, like Bom. Looking at this woman, on the other hand, gave her a sense of what she must be going through - pain, loss of identity, loss of friends and family and lovers. That's how deeply hurt she looked. This woman hadn't left her life behind for something as frivolous as stress and discomfort. No, there was definitely something deeper going on behind that brave face.

She smiled. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything else." I'm glad you like it, she added silently, and realized there was an oddly warm feeling in her cheeks and her heart, hearing the woman's shy compliment.

@PARK BOM Boa simply nodded. She was grateful for the fact that Bom wasn't trying to pry. It made her feel like maybe she could trust her. The biggest problem was she has some secrets that she was sure would scare her new friend. It wouldn't do to lose her already, so maybe one day she would share her newest tricks with the other woman. "Thanks Bom. I will try to remember that, but honestly, I have trouble really trusting anyone anymore. It's nothing personal." She rushed to reassure her friend.

She smiled at the flustered look on the woman's face and watched her work. When she was presented with a bowl of food, the shy young woman looked at it and nodded. She knew there was no way she'd be able to eat all of this food, but she would force herself since Bom had taken the time to make it for her. As she tasted it, she moaned in appreciation. "It's delicious, but I think this will be more than enough." It had been awhile since she had tasted something so wonderful. Trying to protect herself and the family she had left, Boa was always moving. It was the only way to keep her ex from finding her and finishing what he'd started. Food was always an after thought. It just wasn't something she deemed necessary for her survival. She'd eaten once a week even if it was no more than a piece of fruit.