⇢ park

*walks around in the park enjoying the breeze*
*takes a seat on the bench and smiles softly as
I watch the kids play on the play ground*

*walks alone in the snowly side walk, stepping on snow with my shoes, leaves my hand in my hand letting it dangle with my keys for the dorm, looks around becore standing infront of a bench, I stared down at it for a bit before slipping my hand out and leaving the other half of the key chain, lets out a small chuckle knowing what day it is*.... a month has past since we went our seperate ways.... it would have been a monthsary if known of those painful words slip out from my lips..
Why do I still have this.... this c....c.cheap thing *sniffles at the cold weather before placing it on the bench and turns away leaving it* its time to say goodbye

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@jackson wang ....no its fine... I dont want to regret not giving your jacket back...
*slowly shakes my head and listen hearing the sound of keys being picked, i stood in silent not wanting to say a word as i just nod only to frown a bit when hearing you mentioning about having a car seat in the back*
..car seat? *whispers underneath my breath only to realize it was for Taeho and a family car, i clench my teeth together and follows you behind with the stroller, I picked up Taeho when you unlocked the door seeing you securing the car seat, i handed you taeho so you can put taeho on the car seat so i can fold up the stroller, i stayed quiet, only talking when necessary*

@ty-track That's nice of you.
But you could have kept it.
*notices that you don't seem to want to come in so reaches over and grabs my car keys*
Let me drive you two home.
*stuffs my wallet in my pocket then steps out and shuts the door*
Come on. I have a car seat in the back...
*mumbles off slightly at the mention of the car seat*
*heads to the car and unlocks it, securing the cat seat tightly*

@jackson wang ...h.hi.. * feels my teeth chattering once more, I clench my teeth together and gains my guts and stares directly at you when you open the door*
*I watched how you move to the side for me to enter but unsure on what to do I was quite unsure why I even came back to this house when I don't even live here*
um.. I was here to..um give you back your jacket..... I was unsure if we will ever encounter one another...s..o I came to give it back to you..
* I stood at the entrance of the front doorstep not making a move to take a step inside before it will bring back memories, I let as if a mask cover my weak state at the moment and lowers my gaze, before reaching over to grab the jacket I placed inside the stroller with Taeho to give it back to you*

@ty-track *gets up to go get a blanket when I hear the doorbell, brow knitting as I wonder who it could be*
*sets my drink down on the coffee table and comes over to the door*
*opens the door, one eyebrow perking when I see you*
Hey....
*looks over you, taking note that you're looking rather cold*
*steps aside, indicating for you to come in, not wanting you or the baby out in the cold*
What brings you around?

@jackson wang * my teeth starting to chatter at the cold as the wind brushes pass me knowing that my single layer jacket isn't much useful to keep me warm, I continued to push the stroller to the house that I memorized during the time when I gave birth to Taeho and was brought to this house afterwards*
* arriving at the front yard of the house I looked at the so called 'home sweet home' a smile came to my face I too a glance at Taeho watching how he he is cuddling against the jacket you gave us making sure he is warm*
* feeling my nose slightly running at the cold temperature I took a deep breath*
....You can do this.... Taeyong... I can do this * slowly approaches the house and gently press my index finger against the doorbell I wonder how you would react to see me here, wondering if you would push me away*

@ty-track *hurries back home since I left my jacket with you and Taeho*
*unlocks the front door and heads inside, slipping my shoes off*
*goes into the kitchen and makes myself a cup of hot chocolate before making my way over to the front bay window*
*sits on the window sill and looks outside and the snow starts falling some more*
Mm.
*hums softly, feeling oddly relaxed at the sight of the snow*
*blows carefully on my hot chocolate and takes a sip*

@jackson wang *staying in the warmth of the thick jacket, I swallowed my saliva knowing that I had enough of staying outside and looking out at the snow as it continues to fall, I wiped away the other tear that slid down the corner of my eyes I looked down to see Taeho sleeping peacefully in my arms, I weak smile appeared across my face and leans down pecking the forehead of my baby boy before I got up and lay my son in the stroller covering him with your jacket to keep you warm after receiving the warmth I need*
...will our relationship will just stay like this..... continue being awkward against one another.....
* I thought to myself I press my hand against the handle of the stroller, I looked over at the direction were you walked off in, seeing your figure farther away than last time before seeing your disappear out of my sight once more which made my heart pounding, feeling heavy I took a deep breath, I pat my chest, shutting my eyes*
Lee taeyong... You can recover on your own... *suddenly flashes of memories came to the time when I said those same words when recovering the break up with my first lover only to remember that was the time when you came back to my life and brought me back to having hope and loving you, pressing my lips together I started to push the stroller and decides that its time to head back to the NCT Dorm, I suddenly thought what it would be like if I never broke up with you*...that would mean we would be watching the first snow fall together instead of separating from one another.... we would go to the same direction when heading home.... I would be wrapped in your arms... * I let my legs drag me out of the park, I turned the corner and leaves the park going back to the dorm*
will I ever meet him again.... * starts feeling motivated the moment I glance down seeing how your jacket was still with me, I stopped in my track before I gain my confidence and turned the stroller around and follows the same direction where you left, trying to remember where your 'house' is located, remembering how you surprised me about it during our monthsary*

@ty-track *refuses to look back at you, knowing if I do, I might go back*
*feels my heart drop a bit, my chest tightening at all the thoughts that suddenly rush my mind on what we could have been, could have done and the family we were supposed to be*
*lets out a heavy sigh, knowing I have to put all that behind me*
*soon exits the park, out of sight*

@jackson wang * I felt something warm laying over my lap basically covering Taeho and I, my eyes grew wide at the sudden action you when you left your thick jacket with me, I could felt the jacket already warmed due to you wearing it*
..b..but...
* I cut myself off knowing that your the type of guy who is a stubborn enough to care about others first instead of himself, I could feel my chest being pierced*
Thank you.....Jackson...
* I whispered your last words watching you started to walk away, I stared at the footsteps your left behind, I lift my head up and stared at the back of your figure, watching how you walked away catching me off guard when finding that first snow is about to fall, I let out a sigh and looks over at taeho, flashing him a weak smile as I looked up at the sky*
You see that taeho.... the first snow... * I mumbled, I kept him in my arms not realizing my son was soon falling asleep in my arms due to the warmth of the jacket that was left on my lap, I could smell your scent the fragrance you wear on the jacket, a single tear slide down from the corner of my eyes as my voice started to shaken* you know Taeho... there is this saying....if you are out in the first falling snow of the year, with someone you like, then true love will blossom between you, meaning that you two are meant for one another...... * I sniffed and wipes the single tip as I stare at the snow that continues to fall* ...I..I guess that saying was wrong... *my chest pinched in pain I brought the jacket around me and my son, I closed my eyes as I try to control my emotion know that it was my fault that our relationship collapsed, I whispered quietly* I...m sorry...

@ty-track *takes a deep breath in, slowly releasing it as you speak*
Still.
*can only manage this one word, slips off my thicker jacket and moves over to you, gently laying it over your lap to cover you and Taeho with it*
Stay warm.
*resists the urge to even just pat your head, not wanting to be flooded with memories if I give you even the simplest of touches*
I'll see you around.
*mumbles softly and adjusts my sweater a bit before walking off just as the first snow falls*
*glances up at the sky then sighs quietly to myself, heading back to my house, the one that was once supposed to be ours*

@jackson wang * pressing my lips together I took a glance at you seeing how you just nod, feeling my chest aching hoping you would get that hidden meaning after saying that, looks away*
mm...
* stared straight ahead while I listen to your voice hearing the word 'home' catching my attention which gave me a flash of memories of a lovely couple arriving to their house that would fit perfect for the two of them and their child, but it turned upside down after the lost of trust towards one another, I took a breath and runs my index finger over, brushing the cheeks of baby taeho hearing how your will just watch it from the window*
*feeling the weight on the bench decreased, I looked down at stare at your legs seeing how you got up, I bite down on my bottom lip wanting to extending my hand over and hold your hand not wanting you to leave, I my body started to ache as I just kept my arms around my baby*
its fine.... we can handle the cold air.... I promised to bring him to watch the first snow..... * I parted my lips as my set of words turned against me which wants you to stay*... You can leave if you want.. no one is stopping you *my voice already raspy, lowers my gaze not wanting you to see me as I could feel tears were slowly starting to build up, I hugged my son waiting for the first snow*

@ty-track *simply nods when you say you missed everyone*
*looks over at you as you take hold of Taeho's little hand, feeling my chest tighten, quickly turning my attention away; can't help but recall that he was almost going to be my son*
I was hoping to catch the first snow fall.
But it's getting pretty cold.
I might go home and just watch it from the window if it takes too long.
*stands up, unsure of how much longer I can handle being near you and taeho without getting depressed*
You two shouldn't stay out too long. You both might catch colds.

@jackson wang * listening to my surrounding hearing your sniffles and your voice, I parted my lips and exhales hot air watching misty clouds came out from my lips due to the cold temperature*
y..eah.... * gets caught off guard when my voice became cracky, I swallowed my saliva to moisten my throat as I nod even though in reality deep down something was aching and tugging deep in my chest*
I'm fine.... Lets just say I missed everybody... * my lips tugged upwards, curling the corner of my lips into a small smile and holds Taeho before I gained my confident and turns my head to look over at you kinda glad that your eyes were set on the sky, I looked back down at Taeho and holds the hand of Taeho's small hand who is wearing mittens, I could feel him holding my index finger*
are you here to watch the first snow to fall..? or were you just talking a walk..?

@ty-track *nods a bit when you mention Hansol and ten had cared for him*
Yeah...I know.
*sniffles slightly and brings a hand up to rub my nose a bit, the cold turning the tip of it a light pink*
I've been....okay.
And you? Did your time away give you what you needed?
*glances around the park again as I put my hand back inside my pocket to keep it warm*
*leans back against the bench comfortably, looking up towards the sky*

@jackson wang *inhaling the cold fresh air of the outside I rubbed the back of baby Taeho only to feeling another weight on the bench I am sitting on, minding my own business I kept Taeho in my arms giving him warmth until I heard a familiar voice I haven't heard for a very long time*
*I slowly opened my eyes and stares at the grey sky before lifting my head down staring straight ahead, I slowly shift my gaze and looks to the side to see this figure only to meet eyes with you, I could feel my throat drying surprised to see you hear, my lips pressed together I looked down at my baby and slowly nod*
yea... he sure has gotten big.... Hansol hyung and Chittaphon took care of them while I was... *slowly stops myself from talking letting my voice trail off, I could feel my chest tightening*
how have you been Jackson..? * mutters quietly against the breeze of wind that passed by not taking glances of your face and just stare at my baby who is hugging his favorite stuff animal*

@ty-track *slips my hands into my pockets as I walk through the park, knowing it'll probably snow soon*
*lets out a heavy breath, amused by the small puff that appears in the air from my heated breath meeting the cold air*
*pauses when I see you sitting on the bench directly in front of me*
*is tempted to just turn around and walk away as fast as I can but decides to gather some courage and approach*
*sits on the opposite end of the same bench as you*
He's getting big.
*speaks softly, glancing over at the baby in your arms*

* walks along the sidewalk wearing a a jacket and sweatpants to keep my body warm due after checking before heading to the park pushing the stroller that keeps a baby Taeho who is playing with a fish stuff animal, I stared down at my baby boy and tucked him with a warm blanket*
come on Taeho Im sure you excited to see the first snow... * I hummed and takes a seat on one of the bench, I carried Taeho in my arms and place the stroller beside the bench, I wrap my arms around my baby and stares out, I lift my gaze and looks at the sky I let out a small sigh and shuts my eyes, pulling my baby close in my arms preparing myself to wait for the first snow*

*strolls in and sits at a shady spot by the tree*
*hugs my knees with one arm while the other digs in my bag for something*
*finds it and takes out a few chocolate bars, unwraps one and starts eating it quietly while i sit there and stare into blank space*

* walks along the cement, stares up at the light blue sky admiring the surrounding, inhales the scent* ahh... such a nice day.... isn't that right taeho * looks down and pats my bloated belly* it seems like I'm almost due......
Im looking forward in seeing you Taeho... along with everybody else.... especially your NCT Uncles * chuckles and takes a step on the grass and close my eyes and spin a couple of times before standing there by myself*

@Wen junhui /blinks rapidly and continues to my ice cream
/hums happily and chuckles
Lets go then?
/stands up and points down the street
There might be a place down there that sells duck food I think.

@Wen junhui /laughs with you, my ice cream again before speaking
No. No you won't because I'll stop you before you can.
/smirks a bit and hums, thinking
Well.. No! I will not constantly do things for you.
/pouts a bit and nods, humming
I do want to feed them too..
/laughs sheepishly

@Wen junhui /cross my arms with a determined look
Yes you will. Watch.
/laughs when you whine, causing me to shake my head at you
Don't Haohao me. If you can do something yourself, then do it yourself.
/eyes widen and stares at the ducks
Uh.. I don't think that's a good idea. You might poison them by accident.

@Wen junhui /makes a face at you as I grumble a bit
Yes you will. You'll forget about this incident sooner or later. Watch.
/smirks back at you and then rolls my eyes
You're stupid. You can just your lips. No need for me to wipe your mouth.
/laughs as I continue to my ice cream, quite enjoying this while staring at the lake in front of us
Oh look. Ducks!

@Wen junhui /eyes widen and turns to face you fully with a wtf face
W-What do you mean e-eternal debt?! You're alive and breathing! Oh my god, Jun! You can't do this to me.
/frowns a bit and turns red, grabbing the napkin from you and wiping my lips and the bottom half of my face
You have some too!
/points to your lips and huffs

@Wen junhui /swings our hands a bit while walking to the brown bench, chuckling
No problem.. Besides, like I said, I got you into the hospital first.. So I should do something to redeem myself right?
/smiles and looks at you, nodding a bit
/plops down on the bench as I continue to my ice cream, humming happily at the taste

/lays down in the middle of a grass patch
Life -

✖︎ dead ✖︎

* walks along the side walk, stares up at the trees as I stare up at the summer weather, wearing a tank top and a black cap to cover my face*
*goes over to one of the hill tops, leans against a tree and close my eyes to take a rest*