Night Club

@Kim Seokjin (ohh okay! Can you start? :3 )

@Lee Sungkyung [] ughhh.. he is.. hrrmmmm... how about they meet unexpectedly in the mansjon or something like that?

@Kim Seokjin (hmm do you have any suggestions? ^^' I thought he was already in a relationship)

@Lee Sungkyung [] what should we do next? hahaha..

@Kim Seokjin /while stood in the windy cold weather, I do nothing but sobbing in pain/
I'm sorry, Jin... I really do... I love you but all I can say is love while hurting you and I'm sorry
/keeps on recalled my mistakes as I cry alone in the street, since it was muffled within my scarf,/

@Lee Sungkyung if you have stayed, I wouldn't have let you go.. if you hold onto me just a little bit, I would have forgiven you that quickly.. if only you have stayed and chose me... I would have accepted you open arms and asked you to continue on loving me.. and see, I was not wrong.. you still didn't choose me and left.. /just stood up and walked inside my room and laid on bed instead/

@Kim Seokjin Even if I stay, what I will be just a nuisance and wounded you even more. What more can I do now... I'm sorry for everything
/look down, dissapointed at myself and the fact that I'm nothing but hurting you. Clutches on my chest soon as I walk out from your property, walks out from the gates and walk lifelessly to the street. Somehow break down to tears and crying in the lonely street/

@Lee Sungkyung the person I loved who thinks that she was in love with me despite of how many times she choose to leave... you have a choice and it was not me you have chosen.. even now.. /mumbles to myself/ just go..

@Kim Seokjin /the image of you broken down like this pain me even more, and as you keep insisting that you are not perfect I cup your cheeks so you would stare into my eyes/
Please don't say that. I love you, i dont want to leave you.
/furrowed my brows getting hurt as it seems like I was doing all of these to you/
You keep insisting I'm not when I do, I do Jin... I will always do.
/slowly gets up and walks away slowly to your door, my body is again doing the otherwise while my hsart screams for you. Held it in so I wont cry and quietly sobs as I look at the ground while walking. What kind of person I am to thibj you arent perfect?/

@Lee Sungkyung because no matter what I did.. even if it's right or wrong.. you choose to leave.. that's why I'm not perfect.. because if I was, you won't leave every chance you'll get.. if I was good enough, you wouldn't be hurt and we... would have been happy together..you would have love me.. /felt numb as you seemingly have decided, can only close my eyes and hug my legs and burries my face on my knees/

@Kim Seokjin If you choose to continue hurting me... And despite any outcome you will still wont forgive me, I dont understand how's that love
/close my eyes as I heaves out a shuddery sigh my hands trembles in fear, still like a fool saying and do the opposite of it/
How could you not be good enough for me...? How many times I have to say that you are always perfect in my eyes...
/whimpers quietly just because it clear that this becoming more like a revenge of what I've did before/
I wish... Y-you find love, a better love that I want you to cherish and be happy instead of hurting like I did to you.
/leans closer, held my breath, trying to engulf all of these tears again because a last seperation will be hard to dealt, I probably going to pass out soon after I walk out. Places a long caring kiss on your temple, closing my eyes tight. As if I'm wishing you for all my heart wants is you but it was too hard for me to handle/

@Lee Sungkyung if I told you no, what will you do? that I can't forgive you and I'm going to hurt you in every possible way that I can.. what will you do? /looking at your eyes lost, felt exhaust from this emotional rollercoaster before turning away and sat myself again properply as I felt my energy drained/ because I will never be good enough for yoh since they say the once you found someone, everything will fit into place flawlessly so you just have to find the right pieces as if it was a jigsaw puzzle and yet again, I'm not the kind of man you once knew sungkyung.. so you decide..

@Kim Seokjin Because I don't understand how would someone like you fall in love with me? For once in my life being treated so greatly. For all I have heard is only curses and I was treated not more like an animal... And you came in... You prove to me wrong. And I wanted to protect you if I could but this only wounded you more
/looks up, I've noticed your reactions, and how badly hurt this is for you/
W-why do you think that...? You are not lacking in anything, Jin. You are perfect. Too perfect and you still wants to be with me the one that full with millions flaw. The one that always hurt you.
/slowly pulls my hands away, my fingers tug on the hem of your sleeve. Wanting to keep an image of you for one last time as I still stares up as I turn around facing you/
And now... All of these hurt me as well. I dont want to get up the next morning, fighting for us with you turning your back against me. You said to me yourself... How you still hurt by me and even if we are together, will you really forgive me to start new with you?

@Lee Sungkyung why should I have a reason for loving you? it's just because I just do love you.. the whole package.. and yet, you tell me now that you wish that you didn't.. /felt offended by your words/ then why are you still here then? hurt me while I can still take it.. tell me everything that I lack for you not to choose me, that made you not to wish you 're in love with me.. I don't give a damn anymore..maybe you're right that it was actually for the best... what you have decided for a long time now.. /let you hold onto me but my heart clenched at the choicr of your words, making me stare black by the wall/

@Kim Seokjin And you really think I will let you get hurt just for me...
/sees how broken you are hits me to what are we actually is, the assumption of love as I think this is fully my fault but I couldn't handle it if you snap out of it and treat me nothing like you used to. Runs to your arms and squeeze you tight as I back hug you, dont want to let go while I cry on your back/
Tell me, why do you love me when you are hurted by me? You do know how mess up I am and why you still wanted a lowlife like me Jin... I'd know your feelings towards me before b-but I really wish I didn't fall in love with you but I did and this happen

@Lee Sungkyung I don't care what my father does to me.. I always tell you that, you're the only one mattered to me.. you were practically my earth and I was like a moon to you, that's keeping an eye on you no matter how far, revolving and rotating... no matter how much the distance hurt because that was your choice.. and who am I to question that when all along I was just your bestfriend that you don't want to be seen in public with... someone who makes you cry all the time... /doubts myself more as I try to explain and my voice cracks in the middle and still continues/ believe me or not, in those moments, that was love for me... for you made me feel like I had no hope at all when I tell you about my true intention and yet.. /sighs as we kept on coming back/ I don't want to argue anymore, Sungkyung.. just leave if you want to.. you won't be hearing from me anymore and I won't even ask for anything the moment you take a step out of my door..

@Kim Seokjin I want to choose you, I will always will... But I'm confused on why you keep pushing me away. Just like you said, for these past few days I didn't see the man I've loved before. All you did was hurting me so deep and I know it was my fault to leave you but you know I don't have a choice! I dont know what your father's capable of and I was terrified if its gonna hurt you at the end of the day
/don't know how but in the midst of breaking down, I have the guts to spill again what's I'm feeling deep inside of this whole situation/
I know Jin... It is my fault and you didn't give a slightest chance for me to make up for it... You said you wanted us to be together again but you still have hatred against me- you still think that it is okay for me to hurt now because I've hurted you in the past, what kind of relationship is that? Is that love for you?
/my eyes brimming with tears, clutching against my purse tight/

@Lee Sungkyung /watches you walk away again and your back facing me making teary eyed/
that's what you always say and in the end, you still do..
you still leave when all I wanted is for you to choose me no matter what..
/sighs softly as my tears slowly flow from my eyes, closing them tightly before lying down and hid my eyes under my arm and continue on crying silently/
I won't stop you if you wanted to leave me again.. if it makes you happy...I'll let you go...

@Kim Seokjin /just sit where you pull me in, eyes stares blankly as I feel drained by this whole emotions roller coaster I've been through, and my eyes seems to reflect that when I stares yours, let you held my hands but as if I was defeated anymore/
Now, I know. And I'm tired. I'm tired to go through all of these ever if you going to be like this again. I'm tired to be treat like nothing as we are about to approach each other...
/look down at our twines fingers, just realised how much in pain I am in the past few days that I couldn't feel anything any longer while my tears still dripping down again/
So this is how I hurt you... Then I dont want you to feel hurt again
/look up, the pupils trembles in fear just to think what if I was fighting for you but at the end of the day you will still treat me like I'm nothing just because you are evenged for what I've did before. And how's that possible to be consider as love? Pulls my hands away, quietly stands up and walk to your room to change my clothes/

@Lee Sungkyung /frowns as cry even more and starts noticing that your eyes getting more red and swell because of it, making me pat my side and gives a small smile/ well then come here.. /wiping your tears away as you sat down before intertwining my hand with yours/ now, you know how I felt before when were together... that constant fear and you feel like you gave them the permission to hold a gun.. and you expect them not to pull thetrigger as you placed it on your chest.. more likely, kill you by the decisions they made for you... but I want us to be together again but not like before... i would want to be better than that.. are you willing enough to be with me though? Even if I hurt you so many times..

@Kim Seokjin And I want you, more than ever to be in my life as well- I will sacrifice anything to be with you. I promised that... I'm not sure now if this worth to fight for when you still didn't trust me. When you still think... I'm not in love with you and all I did was out of lust. I-I don't know how to prove that, I-I really don't know what should I do and I'm getting hurt! I'm hurting...
/starts to cry even louder as if I'm mad, and hushed down to puppy like cry. Felt too vupnerable and ashamed with myself, shaking even that Im hugging my arms as I keep looking down hung my head low/
But I still want to believe you love me as well and trust me

@Lee Sungkyung because how can I ever trust you? tell me... what can I hold onto that make me assured that this time you won't go away? that this time you will stay with me no matter what? /disregarding the fact that you kept on crying, keeps a safe distance between the two of us since I felt myself being angry again/ I do want you in my life..

@Kim Seokjin Because everytime we are okay, this happen. It shows how much you didn't trust me and I do understand that. But I'm tired to reason myself to you... Everytime we are going back to the moment of affections, you pull away dragging me to this endless guilt. And I don't know what more can I show you to prove of what I've said...
/looking down at you, closing my eyes once to wipes those tears/
If you couldn't trust me that much, if all you think for what I've did is just fake affection. I don't understand why you still say you love me and made me do all these. I couldn't promise you that I wont find you again... Because if you ever call me to come over, I will never say no to that. I couldn't forget you...
/furrowed my brows as I look at you in pure hurt as those teary eyes can get/
Tell me now- do you want me in your life or not?

@Lee Sungkyung then what do you want from me, Sungkyung? I was just being honest with tou of what you made me feel those months.. /sighs softly and shaking my head as I run my fingers against my hair/ to be honest, just like you I don't know where I should place myself because the moment I let you in, you leave when it gets tough and now, y-you're leaving me again? are you sure this time? that you won't look for me? that you won't ever come back and ask me to be with you again? because I'm getting tired of this too Sungkyung.. your feelings they easily waver... decide what you think is best for us.. I want us to talk it out this time..

@Kim Seokjin Jin...
/somehow again you are doing this and myself getting cofused as ever. Conflicted if you are doing this to push me away or that its actually the truth as your words somehow easily affected my decisions and thinking back for what I did into one huge guilt that is impossible to forget/
I couldn't get affectionate with you at that time because I know we can't be together... I'm trying to shield the feelings for you which I couldn't and stay as your friend because you deserve happiness better than me.
/ I look at you once again, the tears streaming down the redden eye bags again as I shake my head. Desperation hits me at the best as I'm shattered like you wanted to/
But I couldn't forget you as I am... Loved you...
/gazing down, knowing that there is no turning back now and its pointless to reason out with you since you will hate me at the end of the day/
I understand... That I didn't deserve second chances. I'm giving up, Jin. You can hate me all you want now. L-let me keep you in my memories now...
/clutching tight to your sweaters, before hands trembling to pull away. Although I was crying so bad and trembles to get up, but the only thing I could do now is to leave/

@Lee Sungkyung the way you say you're in love with me.. is like the way you always say sorry.. you know that? because you only say it when you want me to hear it but you don't really mean any of it right? especially when you want to make love with me, that's also the only time you're affectionate and even before leaving me..

@Kim Seokjin /furrowed my brows as I heard your explanation, somehow angered me but I couldn't show it- because I'm even more hurt as I heard you out, as you are doing this like I'm a fool that jeopardise everything for you but end up to be treated like this and now you are saying that its all because you are giving me a revenge. But somehow... I couldn't be mad, especially when I am again in your arms like this. Just stares you when you let me cup your cheeks/
You are not changing right... You are still the same man I'm in love with... Right?
/asked in whisper tone but you can see desperation in my eyes, heard your maid's giggling making me flinches away in embarassment, cheeks getting red and soon she left, I look at you, slowly leans in to hug you/
I dont care if its hurt... I'm still in love with you

@Lee Sungkyung [] I dont mind at all.. i am also the same...thanks!

it's because.. I wanted to be mad at you.. and I want you to get jealous.. but I dont want you to leave me again.. you're driving me crazy.. because I wanted to hurt you too the way you did with me... I wanted you to be head over heels with me also... / holds onto the hands clutching on my shirt and makes it cup my cheeks instead/ i know I don't make sense now but I don't think I'll ever be in the right mind with you.. /sighs as if I'm tired already with our endless fights and also push and pull in our relationship, then someone all of the sudden giggled in the background/ someone finally being honest.. so i guess my work here is done.. I have to go now.. enjoy guys... kindly clean after yourselves while i'm gone.. /making me smirk in her remark and shooes her away instead as she left the premises, making me blush also and looks down in embarassment/

@Kim Seokjin (awh I missed you too ;; my replies will be as usual slow but I guess even more slow as I'm havimg finals I hope you dont mind. Have a nice holiday btw thanks! :)

/your words confused me again, my eyes just stares you in disbelief at first, biting my lower lip feeling speechless at the moment. Just now- you are showing hate beyond doubt now this. My mind couldn't decide which one is the truth but soon couldn't take my eyes off you as you leans in to kiss me, the guilt lifted off as I close my eyes and engrosed to your lips against mine again- a small droplet of tear rimming on the corner of my eyes from the joyful feeling of this again and once you pulled away, my eyes met yours softly pants as I shyly blush/
I-I thought you didn't want me to kiss you... I dont have the rights to kiss you before
/leans in and arms clutches on your shirts, burried my blushing face on your shoulder/
Jin, what is this? I thought you despise me so much, I didn't get a chance to show that I've loved you. You hurt me... But I know that it is not you. I'm in love with a warm-hearted Jin, the one that was passionate and warm.

@Lee Sungkyung [] sorry for being away for a long time.. i missed you though... i hope you had a great holidays..

Who says that I'm in love with her when I'm still irrevocably inlove with you? /looks at you again with sad eyes with a slight smile on my lips/ no matter what I do or I did, still i cannot get out from the memories of you.. seeing you now surely hurts but i'm happy... that now you finally see my worth that you kept on denying all those times I kept asking you to be mine.. /looks away and gets a gripful of hair/ im seriously out of my mind.. /eyes widen when you suddenly leaned in for a kiss and was about to return it but you apologize, shaking my head/ you don't mean it? Then why do it? Because now, I won't be sorry if I do this... /kisses you back slowly with my eyes closed before pulling away after feeling settled with you/