ღ ㅤdorм 002

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ Louis was trying to not start violently sobbing, holding it back as best as he could and instead, let his body absolutely fall to bits. In his head, it was so scrambled and aching, wondering why Tae was doing this to him. What had he done to deserve this? His teeth were clenched so tightly together that it was a wonder that they didn't crack, or even shift. When Tae started talking, something boiled over in him. At first, he started lightly hitting his chest with a closed fist, until he actually started to hit extremely hard. He couldn't stop, he couldn't see past his clouded eyes or hear through the loud ringing that had set it.
"I-I hate you, I hate you, I hate you—" Lou couldn't stop repeating it, each time his voice being drawn out and weaker, but it got louder and louder. It turned into screeching, shoving and still hitting him in the chest as hard he could manage.

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ He couldn't take it anymore, the way Lou crumbled in his arms, practically submitting to Taemin broke the man even further. Louis should never live like this, living in fear of what Taemin would do next. That wasn't the type of life he wanted for Lou, his love, his life. He knew that if he stayed, he'd crumble even more. He'd break him beyond repair. Taemin /had/ to let him go but he couldn't. "Louis you-- you," One last kiss, and he pulled himself away, dropping his head to hide his tears of anguish, "you need to go. I can't-- I /don't/ want to hurt you anymore." Taemin's voice shook, his hands shook, his whole body was trembling. He wanted to stop talking, take it all back and try to fix things so Louis wouldn't have to leave him. "Go, go find someone better. Hell, I'd be happier if you did. I can't live like this knowing that I'm hurting you, /abusing/ you. I just-- I just can't.."

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ The look that glazed over my eyes wasn't one of happiness nor unhappiness. It was of something similar to that of disappointment. A piece of his felt offended— offended that he thought he'd stay around to just wait for him to say that. Yet, he knew he'd put up with it, and he did. He stayed, and remained the docile partner he so perfectly played. Louis was a broken man with no self-worth or backbone to support himself. His knees were buckling, and the moment he was taken into the other man's arms, Lou crumbled like an Ancient Greek temple. How badly he wanted to push him away, he needed to, but he couldn't bring himself to. Short kisses pressed against his dried, cracked lips, and he returned them. Like the weak idiot he was, he gave into it. Inside, he was screaming at himself to let go and get away from him, but he just couldn't. Stammered out 'I love you too's sealed his fate, practically signing his soul away to the man.

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ At that moment, he felt something break even more inside him. His own hatred and anguish towards himself amplified, pounding against his skull like a drum. Taemin looked up to see the disbelief in his lover's eyes, saddened that it had to take another day of abuse to actually pull the words out from him. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to hurt Louis anymore but at the same time he wanted to protect him from himself. He shakily stood up and stumbled towards Louis, he took the crying figure into his arms and pressed his lips against those quivering lips. Taemin expected the worst, he expected Louis to push him away, scream at him or something but no. Instead Taemin tightened his hold and kissed him harder, whispering 'I love you's repeatedly against Lou's lips the more pressed against him.

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ He stood at the door, buttoning up his jacket and pulling the hood over his head. Louis couldn't bear to be there anymore, the heaviness in the air was suffocating him to the point he was genuinely struggling to get a breath in. The rain sounded like the loudest thing in the setting, violently ringing in his head as he pulled out his keys and began to unlock the door. Then, he heard it. It was so subtle and quiet, but he said it. His eyes widened, suddenly dropping his keys and turning his head to look directly at him. A look of absolute disbelief overtook his previously saddened features. He didn't know how to feel.
"I-" Lou paused, even more tears managing to spill over, his lower lip quivering. "I-I love you too."

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ Taemin barely budged as Louis came closer and cupped his tear soaked cheeks. He was broken, definitely, but he blamed himself for that. afor hurting Louis, for hurting himself. And now it looks like nothing can be fixed. He wanted to say it, he wanted to say it so bad but not at a time like this. He was too vulnerable, too distraught to even open his mouth and utter the words. It was until Louis got up and make his way to the door that Taemin spoke again, “D-don’t go,” his voice was just as broken as his soul, “don’t leave me... please. I—“ Don’t day it Taemin. You love me, not him. “I love you.”

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ Louis wasn't ever one to listen, especially when the risk of getting hurt was extremely likely, he didn't care. He inched closer, the second cup coming and hitting him directly in the shoulder. It hurt, ached like absolute hell, but still, he walked all the way over until he was right in front of him. Slowly, making a point of doing everything gradually, he knelt down in front of him and reached out to grab one of his hands.
"You're okay, you're okay-" He repeated, resting his free hand against his cheek and using my thumb to brush away any tears. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I'm an idiot, I'm just an idiot." Louis had by then convinced himself what was going on was his own doing, his wrong doing. Tae was clearly hurting, absolutely in pain, and it was all because of him.
"I'll go for a walk." His voice cracked a bit, having been so drawn out to the point of it being weak. He pulled away, turning to hide his tears that were now running down his face, going to grab his yellow anorak; just praying to get a break.

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ He wanted to close the gap, Taemin wanted to hit him, hug him, kiss him or something but he couldn’t get close. He didn’t want Lou to get close and end up getting hurt. “Don’t come near me,” another cup flew in his direction followed by a cry. You love him Taemin, you’re in love with the wrong person. You only love me, only me. His own jealousy was sparked, he crumpled to the floor against the sink cabinet. The amount of screaming in his head was giving him a migraine, his vision was blurring and his body was so weak to the point where he couldn’t even stand on his own two feet. He couldn’t see Louis anymore, just his own face amongst the darkness glaring accusingly at him. He could see his own mouth moving but he couldn’t make out the words but he knew what they meant. He hated him, himself. It was clear as day. His narcissism manifesting into something he wasn’t able to get out of for centuries and now here he is fighting himself for his own love. It was exhausting. He didn’t want to feel anything anymore.

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ His breath caught up with him, shakily rising from his place on the floor as he looked over at the now terrifying form of his beau. Lou felt his eyes widen when a loud yell left him, a cup following after and nearly hitting him. The ceramic shattered less than a foot away from him and he could feel the shards hit him, getting tangled in his mess of hair. Breathing, now ragged, he made an attempt to stand up, despite his trembling. Tae didn't scare him as much anymore, but a piece of him would always find him frightening.
"Please, calm down- it really was a misunderstanding, you know I wouldn't lie to you." Louis spoke as calmly as he could muster, keeping his hands steady and taking small, short steps closer. "Just think for a moment, Taemin. You're not going crazy, you're just- just upset, and I shouldn't have done that. I'm so, so sorry. It's...it's my fault." His admittance was something he didn't actually believe, but if he said it enough, he knew he'd believe it. That's what he wanted. He wanted it to not be a lie.

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ He felt it, Taemin felt his anxiety and anger rise just by the sound of Louis’s voice. It was caring yet it felt like he didn’t care. It was another ruined night because of his own thoughts convincing him that Lou was abusive, that it was his fault. It wasn’t his fault, Tae tells himself over and over again but still his own voice tells him something different. That’s hes the perfect one, he’s doing something good. That he shouldn’t be putting up with such bull. Taemin yelled, grabbed a cup and throw it in Lou’s general direction. “Shut up! Don’t act like you care! You DON’T. ING. CARE.” His voice broke after screaming the last word, “After kissing that bastard you act like ’s alright? The is wrong with you huh?” Nothing was okay, he wasn’t okay and Lou was definitely not okay. “I’m trying Lou. I’m ing trying to forget! I want to think— to /know/ that things will be fine but I can’t even ing think anymore. I feel like I’m going INSANE Louis!”

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ The feeling of the other's lips press against his forehead was exactly the reason he stayed, even if the bad outweighed the good. Just his presence was enough to give him one reason out of the million to stay. If he stayed laying there, so comfortably and quietly, Louis was convinced he'd end up falling right asleep. When the pace in his chest seemed to quicken a bit, he opened his eyes to look up at him. Shifting up to bury his face into the crook of the man's neck, trying to now ignore what he'd heard. It could have been a fluke for all he knew, it's not like he was the most intuitive person on the planet. When something seemed to leave him, Lou moved back a bit, looking at him.
"Are you alright?" He kept his tone soft with a frown starting to curve his lips downward. Tae seemed to be trying to move him, and he was about to get up, until he practically got shoved off and landed flat on his back. All the wind got knocked right out of him, now struggling to breathe somewhat, laying on the ground without attempting to get up.

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ Taemin was sure this was it, his true happiness right here in his arms, in this dorm, on the tv. Despite Taemin being tired due to preparations for exams and stress in his personal life, he kept a secure hold on his beloved and pulled the throw over them more, especially Louis. He dips his head and presses his millionth kiss against the other’s forehead, chuckling at the movie that was playing on the tv before glancing down at his content angel who seemed to be immersed in the scene. How could someone be so... perfect? Taemin sighs and lies back more into the couch, pulling Louis along with him. ‘He’s not.’ Tae freezes, furrowing his brows he looks back down at Lou. ‘He’s not perfect at all. You are. He’s the one that cheated.’ “What?” He sounded almost breathless, his heart suddenly beating faster than it’s supposed to and breathing quickening. “Wait,” he tries his best to left Lou off him carefully but his hands were shaking a little too much so he ends up throwing Lou off him as he ran into the kitchen for some water, ‘He’s a cheater. He lied to your face. He’s far from perfect.’

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ Golden locks danced across his forehead as he lies his head comfortably against the man's chest. Where Louis was at that moment, he was the happiest he could be. His own tainted, damaged view of happiness. The movie he could swear they'd watched a million times before still felt so brand new, but only so when he was with Taemin. Curled up on the couch with him cuddled up next to his beloved, listening to the speaking with the rain outside adding something of a specialty to it this time around. John Wayne had never sounded so good, but he looked just as beautiful as always. Louis closed his eyes for just a second, listening close to the steady beat in the other's chest. The small noises were soothing, he'd always found them that way. Even in the mess of blankets he was under, and the train wreck his hair had become, made that single moment so unbelievably special. Tae was just special.

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ {} ff f UCK YEAH BE UP IN A MOMENT

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ {} TH RI D

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ {} b e f0re i start
FIRST
oR THIRD

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ {} vibR A te s

@taemin❦ⁿᵃʳᶜᶦˢˢᵘˢ {} w h Y n0t hUn

@louis❦ˡᵉᵗᵒ {} you wanna start this time sw e et ch ee k s

{} gotta get that fire started e w e

{} ohohohOHOHOHOHO E UE

{} /throws a firecracker in here.