studio

@kim jongin /when you reach for me, your hand just catching the fabric at the front of my shirt near the front and drawing me in, i almost stumble a step forward, stopping when my knees touch the edge of your mattress, though your request, such as it is, makes me hesitate a moment/
jongin-
/though i would protest, i slip my arms from my jacket, letting it fall off my frame so that i'm in just my long sleeved shirt and jeans before i move to climb into the bed with you, tucking my legs in beneath the blanket before i pull it back up over us, and i bring an arm over you, hesitant at first if only because it's a sort of intimate act between mostly new friends/
sleep well, and have sweet dreams
/with my arm over you, a hand resting near the back of your head against the pillow, i watch over you as you begin to drift, and i catch myself murmuring quietly/
merry christmas, jongin

@zhou mi /hearing you i smile a little bit, mumbling 'you're still here' before i roll onto my back, looking at you blearily before i settle for closing my eyelids and blindly reaching out for you
come-
/tugs you in, gripping at the front of your shirt before i roll onto my side once more, eyelids still firmly shut whilst your question rings around in my head here and there
sleep...
sleep with me
/rubs at my eyelids, trying to convince you to do as much as i lay there, pressing my face against the shark plushie and causing my cheek to puff up against it in the process
/only when i'm sure you're here and sharing my bed to i properly begin to drift off, not taking me long to slip even deeper into a slumber as well, your name mumbled once or twice but more for my own comfort than need

@kim jongin you don't need to thank me for that
i've enjoyed the time i've gotten to know him this past- week? or perhaps it's been longer...
/my brows are slightly furrowed as i contemplate the question of time, though i let it go quick enough, more present in the moment to help get you back to your bed ultimately, and when we arrive i'm all too thankful for kyungsoo's help in getting you into your bed, my arm slipped from you at last by the time we get you tucked in/
thank you- i'll see to that then
i hope that you sleep well tonight then. and for what it's worth, i will
/after he leaves the room, i stand for a moment, contemplating your form in the bed, the shark plushie in your arms in place of where my own arm had been not that long ago, and i turn to head toward the aforementioned bathroom only to pause when i hear your voice/
hm?
/turning slowly, my back toward the door only left slightly ajar, i step back toward the bed with a small smile lifting the corners of my lips and turning down the corner's of my eyes, my crow's feet plenty apparent as i look at you/
what is it, jongin?

@zhou mi mnh...
/makes the small noise of complaint as i'm moved up from my perch on the floor, tiredly leaning against your side still whilst our leader smiles a little apologetically at you
/cleaning up, the members move quickly so they can bring the both of us the short walk back to our apartments, several of them giving pause at your words
"hey, the more the merrier, sunbae"
"yeah, and you seemed to make jongin happy to. so we should be thanking you instead"
/they nod to you in thanks before helping get us all to the apartments, the members on the floor above heading off and the ones on the floor just below, my one, leading you to my room
"come on jongin, into bed"
/kyungsoo helps you get me into bed, tucking me in and making sure my socks are off since i dislike wearing them more than i ever have to, turning to you afterwards
there's spare things for washing up in the cupboard below the sink. so just help yourself, sunbae
i'll be off for the night. please continue to look after him
/he bows his head to you, pointing up to the ceiling as he's one of the members belonging to the upper floor, leaving me, with my shark plushie, laying on my side and still half awake
hyung...?

@kim jongin /somehow unaware of the moment in which you're hugging my arm to yourself, likely because i'm more worried about making sure that you get comfortable in your own bed/
i just don't want him to get a crick or a cramp-
/glancing back to junmyeon, i incline my head, a faint smile on my lips, though it's not something i would do in most cases if only because i might feel like i'm putting someone out, but in this moment it's clear you aren't fond of the idea of my leaving and no one seems particularly disturbed/
i suppose it would be best- especially if he's most comfortable that way
/glancing to you once more, only just catching the sound of your mumble as i look back to your members, i turn my head and murmur softly, not wishing to really wake you in the moment so much as assure you/
i'll be with you
/it takes a little doing, but i manage to convince a couple of your members to help me get you up from the floor, rather than let you fall right back to sleep right away, intent on leaving with your members and you to get you back to your dorm where i know you'll be closer to your bed, you'll be warm, and you'll certainly be more comfortable than while stuck on the floor of the practice room/
this isn't exactly what i imagined for christmas-
i am sorry to be a burden of an extra body

@zhou mi good good... that's good...
/mumbles just about enough coherently in regard to the cake and you apparently having enjoyed it, making me smile just a little bit to myself, your hand in my hair making me lean into the touch all the more
/half asleep on your shoulder by the time you bring up someone taking me home, i make a soft sound of disagreement but nothing more for now
"we can try but-"
/one of the members points as to how my arms at some point have now wrapped around your own, half clutching it to my chest whilst my cheek is pressed to your shoulder
"i'm sorry, but would you mind coming back with us? it'll be easier than trying to detach him from you at this point"
/junmyeon asks politely in his usual leader fashion, everyone now looking at you but none seemingly minding having you over, in gact some of them seem excited
"never mind sleeping lions, never disturb a sleeping nini"
/there's a soft laughter shared around the room at the joke, making me frown at the sound before i mumble a soft 'don't go' once more, my body feeling like lead as i'm drifting in and out of consciousness now
"please? we don't live far from here, sunbae"

@kim jongin /feeling you stir, i shift a little, lifting my hand just slightly and turning my attention to you with a small smile on my lips meant only for you/
no need to apologize- i'm sure you needed the sleep
/as you lift your head, I let the tips of my fingers brush lightly through your fringe, a bit indulgent in that little gesture as i let myself more easily see your face/
i'm alright- and the cake was great
/with your head at my shoulder, i sit still, hoping to give you a more comfortable place to rest your head, though when you talk about bed and bedtime, i find myself looking to you a little more sympathetically/
perhaps i should go then so you all can head home
/as i feel the change in your weight against me, those whispered words keep me from leaving my place and i draw a hand up to brush my fingers gently through your hair again, moving a few longer strands of your fringe away from your eyes before i turn my attention to your members/
perhaps someone should take jongin back to the dorm so that he can sleep, hm?
the day must have taken a lot out of him

@zhou mi /the sleep does seem more peaceful this time, only mumbling softly to myself at times and it doesn't seem like its anything bad either
/a little while later i finally wake up, feeling a weight on my head and i realise its a hand, squinting as my eyes adjust and i realise it belongs to you
/pushes myself up slowly, brushing the back of my hand over my eyelids in a sleepy manner, yawning into my palm afterwards before i half slump against you
sorry... i fell asleep
/mumbles as it seems i might fall asleep again any moment, managing to keep my eyelids open enough to see you when i lift my gaze and head
are you okay, hyung?
did you enjoy the cake for exo-l?
/nods to the empty plate, blinking slowly at you and proving in that moment why my fans refer to me as a bear, and often a sleepy one
mnh...
/bows my head to your shoulder once more, closing my eyelids as i let out a soft whine, wishing i was in my own bed
bedtime... please tell me its time for bed
/picks up the shark plushie again, hugging it to my chest whilst my body grows heavier against your own once more, only a few words leaving me in a whisper
don't go, hyung

@kim jongin /after you take the bite from me, at least after the insistence of one of your members, i smile and offer a quiet thanks before i slice off another bite for myself, thinking nothing of it as i eat off the same utensil/
you don't need to worry- i won't force another bite on you
thank you for taking that one
/as i eat slowly, taking only the occasional bite between the scattered conversation, and only rarely offering my own input, i manage to finish off the cake after a while and i steal a glance at you when your eyes are closed, only for kyungsoo to say something about it/
it seems that way-
/after he placed his jacket over you, i look over you, the memory of the other night rising to mind, and it's perhaps with that in mind that, after checking my hands are clean of any frosting now that the cake is gone, i lower my fingers to your hair, gently brushing a few strands of your fringe back from your forehead/
i hope this is a better sleep
/whispering softly, i lift my head a moment later, keeping myself still so that i don't disturb you, and keeping my voice a little quieter when i respond if only out of concern that i might wake you, yet with you napping there i find myself feeling a little out of sorts, your members friendly enough, though it occurs to me that perhaps my biggest reason for agreeing to come was not out of my own loneliness, but to spend time with you/

@zhou mi i know. i do, its just remembering the less happier things seems to be easier and i didn't want you thinking something like that. that's all
/offers you a brightened smile akin to a spring day when you mention me enjoying myself, nodding softly in agreement as i think its been a long time since i've had time like this
/holds the shark plushie in my hands again, resting it over my lap as i play with its fins and mock play it biting at my own foot, glancing up again when you talk about the cake
ah thank you
but i'm fine. really, hyung
i'm not a big fan of cake and i had a little already earlier too so-
/gets shoved by one of the hyungs, whining again before i just bite my tongue and then part my lips, taking the offered bite of cake and motion for you to have the rest
please
don't make me eat any more cake
/half pleads with you, left alone for the most part now as the members talk and play among themselves, curling up on my side, facing you but my eyelids closing on their own and seemingly staying closed
"he fell asleep again, didn't he?"
/kyungsoo, quieter than the most, asks now as he leans in a bit, smiling softly at the sight of me before he just rests his jacket over me, telling you i do it often and i'll wake up soon enough
/during that time i bring my forehead to press against one of your legs, the plushie under my head whilst i take a brief catnap

@kim jongin /the festivities, such as they are, are something of a relief and definitely far from the somber mood of before, and truly it's just a pleasure to watch you a little more light-hearted and spirited, though before i can properly thank you for the invitation you're under attack and it's only when you scoot into me that i'm able to speak up/
i wanted to thank you for inviting me
/your confession that you didn't want me to think that of you has me shaking my head a little/
we've had some pleasant moments
and even the unpleasant ones are a chance to bond- but that doesn't shape my opinion of you
still, it's good that you're enjoying yourself today especially
/when you swat at the hands of another, my eyes widen a little, and i can't help the laugh that leaves my lips when you claim the slice of cake for me, particularly when you're left using the length of your own legs to try and defend it until you manage to hand it off to me, and i place the slice in my lap while looking to you/
it might be a little too much cake for me alone
will you have a bite with me?
/as i reach for a utensil with which to slice off a bite, i hold it up to you, almost as if i won't take no for an answer, and yet i offer an explanation for it/
you would be doing this old man a favor
just have a few of the calories for me, hm?

@zhou mi i'll remember that too, hyung
/murmurs to you just before we had entered the room, relieved you can just as happily chat with the members and don't feel the need to try anything different
/clearly in a better mood i take to picking up the large shark plushie left on the floor, hugging it to me at first before i mess around with it and one of my hyungs closest to me
/when you lean in and thank me i blink at you for several moments, tilting my head in confusion and then giving you another small smile
what for, hyung?
/finds myself getting whacked with another plushie, grunting as i topple forward a little and rub my head, looking at you from under my arms as i chuckle
never a dull moment-
/fends off baekhyun, sending him skidding across the floor and leaving me alone for now, scooting closer towards you before i lean my shoulder against your own a bit, as if to give us more privacy when i speak
i meant to say it earlier but i didn't want you to think i just wanted to be around you when i'm miserable. or for you to think i'm just... like /that/ all the time
not today, hyung. not today
/shakes my head, smiling almost proudly now before i spot one of the others going to swipe the last piece of cake, swatting at their hand and snatching it up, whining at them as i do so
its for our sunbae!
no!
/holds the cake up above my head on its plate, using my long legs to push away the offending members, handing it to you as i laugh and am eventually left alone
you better eat that quickly before someone inhales it

@kim jongin you don't need to thank me for that. whether many would or wouldn't have, if you ever needed it i would be there again. though i'll keep your words in mind, jongin
/when you laugh, it brings a smile to my face, a sense of relief like some burden i didn't realize i had been carrying around was lifted if only for a brief moment, and i incline my head/
if you'e certain- it would be nice to see you
and your members, of course
/the quick correction is something i find myself more often in the habit of now, and yet i'm more surprised that i even put myself in that position in the first place, not realizing that's the first thing to come to mind, and when you turn to go, i follow after you, bowing my head a little when i step inside and greeting each of your members respectfully/
merry christmas, everyone
/at your gesture, i glance around, taking the opportunity to take a seat nearer to you than anyone else in the room, the spirit of the season making me, if not necessarily more talkative, then at least capable of a few more smiles and attentive nods, though i catch myself glancing to you as i sit with folded legs, uncertain what i'm looking for, if anything, and i lean in a little closer to murmur quietly/
thank you, jongin

@zhou mi /nods my head in agreement about it being good to see you, resting my hands at my sides once more before i brush my fingers through the front of my hair
thank you for the last time i was with you, hyung. really. not everyone would have done what you did for me
it should already be known but if you ever need something from me, please don't hesitate to ask
/laughs when you mention crashing the party, my laughter sweet and something you didn't hear much of last time we spoke, lifting up my hands and shaking them in front of me
its more like you should be asking yourself do you really want to deal with the members, hyung. but really, you wouldn't be crashing a thing
/not even considering the members would think of you as a hindrance, i know they wouldn't, making me smile back at you once more
i am? well... there's seven other guys in there who can tell you merry christmas and happy holidays in person too
/turns myself to the side, gesturing for you to come with me, sliding my hands into my jean pockets as i slip into the practice studio, stepping aside to show you to the others
/you're met with most of them bowing their heads and our leader getting up to properly bow of course, glancing back at you i gesture for you to take a seat wherever you like
/taking my own perch on the floor i rest my arms over my knees, smiling a little bit to myself as i cross my legs in front of me, the others talking casually thankfully and including you where they can of course

@kim jongin /it had been an uneventful couple of days since we had spoken, the only constant being that during quiet moments, largely between phone calls or coffee runs, i would find myself thinking to you and whether or not you were doing well since we parted ways the morning after, now on christmas i was handling the last details for my schedule for the the end of the year and the beginning of the next/
i'm just going to go out and get some air-
if there's anything else, i'm just a phone call away.
/it was a young clerk who was stuck handling the final details, a young woman no doubt being kept from family on a holiday, though as i make my way down the hall i can only wonder if it was on purpose, though that thought keeps me from hearing you when you first call out to me, when you jog up, i pause, turning my head slowly and smiling as you stop with a hand on my shoulder/
jongin, it's good to see you
/your question makes me hesitate, a brow slightly drawn up, and for a moment i almost consider stretching the truth if only because i wonder if the offer is made only out of politeness/
free as a bird- are you sure you want me crashing the party with your members, though?
/glancing to the doorway, i take but a moment before i look back to you, the smile on my face considerably warmer feeling than i've been so far today while i turn entirely to face you and i bow my head/
merry christmas, jongin
you're the first friend to tell me that in person

@zhou mi /a couple of days pass since speaking to you, finding myself spending christmas with schedules like other idols, performing at another awards show
/whilst i miss my family and its still importantly our first christmas without my father i find a moment to video call them, smiling as i see my nephew and niece too
/shortly does a live on instagram after buying a cake for our fans, not being the biggest fan of cake myself it makes a greater point of doing it for them and not just me having an excuse to eat cake
/smiles when i finish, heading to the practice room the other members are in, bringing the cake with me and letting them devour it, a spread of foods around like the old trainee days as we spend the night together, talking and laughing into the early hours
/picks at the piece of cake i have, having eaten most of it before i glance up just then, seeing a figure passing the slightly open doorway
hyung?
/pushes myself up, swearing it was you to pass by and i get up, walking over to the door and stepping into the hallway, seeing it is you and i call out again
hyung-
/jogs to catch up, lightly placing my hand on your shoulder to encourage you to look at me, all before i bow politely when you do so out of good manners
hello hyung
/when i straighten up i'm smiling, my dimple on display before i realise you must be spending the holiday here alone too, some part of me feeling bad about that and wanting to change it
are you free? would you like to come and join me? the hyungs, sehun and i are just sharing some food and laughs if you'd like. i think there might even be some cake left
/gestures over my shoulder to the door i came from, the light and laughter from just beyond spilling out into the hallways we stand in
oh-
and merry christmas, hyung

@kim jongin /when you stiffen from my touch i'm hesitant, worried of what i've done this time, yet you melt into it so quickly and soon your head is against my stomach and then in my lap while i carefully brush my fingers through your hair/
jongin- i-i don't know who left you, but you're not alone
/murmuring softly, not wanting to ask questions that will force you to suffer longer, i stay quiet, letting you hold yourself to me as you need and letting my hand leave your hair only to brush along your back, hoping it might prove soothing to you/
jongin? it's okay- you're safe here
/while i'm just as unaware of what has you so upset, and i'm left a little looser from the cheap whiskey in my system, i'm perfectly content just to sit with you, hand running along your clothed skin in a gentle rub, and my voice soft as i sit and speak with you/
i'm not leaving, jongin- i'm right here
/watching you begin to fall asleep once again, i imagine this won't be comfortable for you, and i bring myself to sink down a little, bringing your head from my lap to rest against my chest while i place an arm over you and straighten the blankets/
sweet dreams, jongin- not nightmares
/murmuring quietly, i lay awake, watching over you, while i absently run a hand over your back/

@zhou mi /the sound of your voice goes amiss, but the contact of your hand has me stiffening, melting into it a moment later as i small sob leaves me
/its all the answer i imagine you need before i pull myself up to my knees, half throwing myself at you, my head sliding down your stomach to your lap where i rest it
a-alone... they left me, hyung
/mumbles in a jumbled fashion, the words muffled against your shirt as my arms are wound around your hips, hugging you as my legs are a tangle among the sheets
no more... no more. please-
p-please
/trails off as i beg for something, knowing for me its to not be left alone any more, unsure i can take it much longer than i have been already
/a flurry of tears has me apologising, weeping softly as i hold onto you still, reluctant to fall asleep and for good reason as i fear i'll dream of the same thing again
/laying there for several moments, i always return to pressing my face against your stomach, hiding it from the world when i do so just for a little longer
please don't leave me
/mumbles softly, my head growing heavier as i seem to be falling asleep again slowly but starting myself awake a few more times until i give in, cheeks stained with tears as fatigue wins out over irrational fear

@kim jongin /seated on the couch for a while with my phone, i find myself glancing through old pictures while i drink the small bottle of cheap whiskey, my thoughts in a place long gone for a brief instant/
what could have been...
/my voice is barely a whisper, the sound of the music from your phone a strange sort of comfort while i think of my ex, not exactly the moment in which we had been together so much as what she must be doing in this moment without me, and yet after a time, something feels amiss, and the sound of a loud gasp manages to reach me, a little quieter with the music playing, but clearly out of place/
jongin-
/rising quickly from the couch, i move toward the bedroom and push open the door, glancing first around the crack and then stepping inside when i see you seated on the bed, your face in your knees before i move to sit in front of you on the bed, stretching out a hand to lay on your hair first, fingers running through, not wishing a repeat of the incident from before when you already seem so distressed/
jongin, i'm here- what's wrong?
was it a nightmare... ?

@zhou mi /jostled slightly when you lift me up and take me through to the bedroom, my body seems to sink into the mattress all on its own as i lay on my back
/soon enough i roll onto my side, legs stretched out and almost over the end of the bed as i breathe slowly, comfortable and warm, two things i couldn't have asked more of now
/my phone left playing music by the sofa softly drifts through the crack in the door, familiar voices helping me stay asleep
/an hour in and i begin shifting, uncomfortable in my dreams as i murmur the word 'no' softly, brows pulled together as i roll onto my back, rocking back and forth between my spine and that
/shakes my head, reaching out across the bed with my hand only to come up short, my hand grasping nothing but cold sheets is enough to make me awake with a start
/gasping loudly i look around, sitting upright before i realise it was another dream, another nightmare, my head bowing afterwards as i pull my knees in to my chest
/buries my face against the top of my knees, my arms wound around my shins as i steady my breathing, still half asleep but too shaken to fall back asleep just yet

@kim jongin i would never smear the name of someone i loved, i trust myself enough to say that, but heartache makes us a little less forgiving of flaws we once overlooked- and that isn't a unique quality to me
/resting against the sofa, my head supported by my hands, i let my eyes fall shut and i inhale softly through my nose, drawing a deep breath to fill my lungs as i listen to you, though at the mention of your tears from earlier, i look to you with a small frown pulling down the corners of my lips/
in not so many words- even if kids aren't the only ones that cry
/though i watch you for a moment, it's clear you aren't about to get off the couch yourself and it's with that thought that i allow you to rest for a moment, and only just become aware of you falling asleep when i move to sit up straighter/
jongin-
/rather than try to rouse you as you fall asleep, i rise to my feet careful in tucking an arm around you and one beneath your thighs to lift you from the couch and carry you to the bed, not wanting you to sleep on a couch a second time around me and instead managing to pull the covers back before i lie you down in the bed and pull the blanket up over you to smooth it at your chest/
sweet dreams
/murmuring quietly, i know i'm not exactly in a position to fall asleep just yet, and rather than toss and turn beside you, i quietly leave the room, leaving the bedroom door open so that i can hear you, and i move toward the kitchen, opening the door of the refrigerator and grasping at a small airplane bottle worth of liquor from inside the door/
if i lie down in an hour or two- at least he won't wake up alone in a strange bed

@zhou mi oh...
well. there's a difference between honest and ill, hyung. i'm sure whatever you would have to say would not be said out of hate or malice
that's... not you
/at least its not the you i know, giving you a small smile to show the faith i have in you and believe the best of you as well
its surprising right?
/laughs a little to myself, the looking on your face speaking volumes to me in the surprise of my answer given to you as well
/nods in agreement with what you say about love, agreeing with you before i glance down, smiling to myself once more as i do so
you mean balling my eyes out like a kid earlier?
yeah... i am pretty tired from that
/mumbles before i yawn into the palm of my hand again, blinking several times but i don't seem to make a move to get up either
you were right... the sofa is pretty comfortable, hyung
/sleepily forces the words out, nuzzling my cheek against the back of it before my eyelids droop shut on their own and i'm falling asleep then and there

@kim jongin at one time i would have listened to a song like that, happily, next to the woman i loved
but that was long before that song was released. and at that point i was distracting myself again
/seated on the sofa, i let my eyes fall closed, lifting a hand to mime zipping my lips/
i shouldn't potentially speak ill of someone we both know
/turning my head, i look to you with a brow slightly raised, my eyes meeting yours as i listen patiently, though your choice makes me a little surprised to say the least and my eyes widen, brows rising toward my hairline and my forehead wrinkled by my expression/
i remember-
/bringing my arms up, i clasp my hands and draw them down behind my head as i turn my attention toward the ceiling, the dim light from overhead looking a little waxy against the texture of the ceiling/
romance should be happier
love should be happy
/turning my head, i look to you, watching as you yawn and rub at your eyes/
we should get some sleep- i'm sure you could use it after today

@zhou mi /nods my head softly to confirm i mean just one, figuring that might be a bit of a tough ask considering just how many songs we have now
/waits patiently as you think of it, surprised to hear its from the war album and a romantic, slower song as well, curious to know a little more i ask
i wasn't expecting that. what do you like about it? and why would people cringe around you?
/shuffles a little when you join me on the sofa, looking at you with a small tilt of my head, letting it rest against the back of the sofa
yeah i do, hyung. its a pretty old one though, hardly anyone brings it up now if at all and its rarely performed
but you remember the song, 'its you'? that's my favourite
/smiles as i think about it, having been a favourite of mine since it came out and as time has gone on for me its a song i've become attached to more and more as the lyrics became so important for me
we both picked romance songs, one was just a little happier than the other
/laughs a little at that, turning into a yawn though as i cover my mouth with my palm, rubbing at my eyelids afterwards and letting out a soft sigh

@kim jongin i appreciate that
/leaning into the counter while i clean up, an act that i would normally leave until early morning hours, i glance to you while you put on the album, the sound familiar, and for a moment i'm content just to listen to it/
hm? what is it?
/as i finish putting away the few clean dishes, mostly glasses as if a remnant from a very liquid diet, i turn my head to meet your gaze, though that question catches me off guard/
a favorite? as in just one?
that's a difficult question to answer
/turning my back to the counter, i lean against it and fold my arms over my chest, bowing my head a little/
there are plenty of songs i enjoyed- and those latest releases were great
but recently-
/lifting my hand in a vague gesture, i find myself without a purpose for it and i hook it against the side of my neck while offering an almost apologetic look in advance for my taste/
if i have to say only one, then it would be walk on memories
though those who had to deal with me when that song was released might cringe
/the corner of my lips ticks up into my cheek almost as quickly as it falls and i shake my head, clearly pushing something aside before i move closer to the couch and sit upon one of the cushions, leaning back into it/
do you have a favorite super junior song?

@zhou mi you make it sound as if you're not nice company to be in, again, hyung
/murmurs in passing as you don't seem to think of yourself as the sunbae i see you as, leaving a constant frown on my features because of it
/the teasing is lost on me all the same, never one to like when people generally talk about themselves in such a way, self-depreciating leaving a bitter taste in my mouth
/peers over the back of the sofa at you when you speak, blinking up at you slowly before i glance at your bare forearms and then back up to your face
hmm...
i'll stay up until you at least feel somewhat sleepy
/nods and speaks more to myself, turning back around and facing ahead of me, only to shuffle onto my side, legs still curled up against my chest as i sit there
/fishes my phone out my pocket, bypassing the texts there and instead putting on my group's latest album, from the beginning, singing along quietly to tempo as my hands, barely seen under the long sleeves, move around with the movements of the dancing and song to keep myself entertained
hey hyung?
/looks over to you again, brushing some of my slowly drying hair out of my eyes before i ask
do you have a favourite exo song?

@kim jongin why would i say something like that?
besides- the only reason i usually like to drink is because sometimes i'll deal with the taste, and the morning after, sooner than i'll deal with reminders
/while we eat, the small, scattered moments of conversation manage to bring the occasional, soft smile to my lips, though it's the kind of smile that doesn't grow, a sort of smile in spite of myself, in spite of the day that brought us here now/
at least there's some kind of highlight to your night then, right?
especially when you have to be back here with me of all people
/it's clearly teasing, a hope to get you to smile before you leave me to go and shower and i go through the effort of picking up and putting away our leftovers, cleaning up the table, and then picking up the sitting room, knowing the bedroom will be fine as it is, and when you return to sit down on the sofa while i'm in the midst of washing the few glasses that had been left in the sink, i pause to toss the small hand towel over my shoulder, sleeves rolled up to my elbows, and i glance to you with a similar smile on my lips once again/
truth be told, i don't sleep a lot these days
but if you're ready to sleep we can always climb into bed and i'll sleep when i sleep

@zhou mi its just... bitter. like coffee. but you know that already too and my stance on it
/smiles a little at the memory shared with you previously, feeling so long ago now in light of recent developments between us and this friendship we have going
at least you didn't say i had the pallet of a kid like most people do
/pulls my legs up as you join me in eating, resting one beneath me as the other bends towards my chest, resting my arms either side of it as i take more bites of my piece
mnh...
you know i'm biased for chicken so i have to agree
/continues to eat in a general, companionable silence, speaking now and then until i finish and clean up a bit, excusing myself after asking to use your shower and borrow some clothes
/comes back out in sweats i've rolled up at the ankles, your height making the length a little too long for me and a t-shirt over the top, thanking you as i sit down on the sofa, hugging one of the pillows to my chest as i yawn
you must be tired, hyung. especially after today with me

@kim jongin /seeing you jerk, i reach out, not having realized just how much you needed my presence to lean on, and my hand touches against the small of your back for a moment before i draw away and let you take that seat/
no worries about that here
/rising to my feet, i close the door of the refrigerator and return to the table to open the can of carbonated grape juice, taking a small sip of it and wrinkling the tip of my nose at the tartness of the flavor while i stand beside the table, trying to think if there's anything else you might need before i sit/
hm? there's no pressure, jongin
and i promise you i won't laugh
/watching you with slightly furrowed brows while you force out that answer, i move toward the other side of the table to take my seat when you ask me to/
the taste? ah- i suppose that makes sense
most alcohol tastes dreadful, i agree
/seemingly unaffected by your response, and certainly not laughing over it, i take another sip of the juice and then set it aside, reaching for a napkin and a piece of chicken, holding two corners of the thigh piece before i take a solid bite out of it/
mmh- well, what better way to end tonight than with greasy, fried chicken?
/trying to find the silver lining, i hold the piece with the tips of my fingers of one hand and grab at the paper napkin to dab at the corners of my mouth/
what do you think?

@zhou mi /jerks a little bit when you move to pull back the chair, unable to blame you as i figure i too wouldn't want someone leaning on me as much like i'm leaning on you
/nods softly as i sip from my drink still, half slumped into the chair by the time my legs give out and my backside meets the seat of the chair, making me yawn softly to myself after a moment
still. i'd be rude if i didn't thank you, right?
/places my mostly empty drink down on the table in front of me, reaching over for some chicken, picking up a lone piece and taking a bite, looking over to you blearily when you mention alcohol
no thanks...
/shakes my head again, taking another bite of chicken before i finally speak up and explain why exactly i turned down the offer
...you'll laugh as to why but i'm not a fan of alcohol, hyung
i know its a big part of our culture and all but... i don't like being out of control of my own body and well...
/the reason for why you might laugh comes to mind, stuck on my tongue and unable to let loose for a moment until i force it out
and i hate the bitter taste
/the last reason is the main once most people tease me for, telling me i have a baby taste when coupled with my general dislike for coffee too
please, come and eat
you must be hungry too